Season 1 Episode 1


Aired Unknown May 12, 2000 on BBC Three



  • Trivia

    • The opening song is "Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps", sung by Mari Wilson.

    • JEFFISM: Unflushables: The type of women you can't get rid of because they keep "bobbing around".

    • When Susan shows her breast to her friends, you can see in one shot through her shirt that she is wearing a bra.

    • The main characters are called Steve and Susan, after the writer Steven Moffat and producer Sue Vertue (who are married in real life).

    • JEFFISM: Porn Buddies: In the event of one buddy's death, the surviving buddy goes immediately to the dead bud's house and removes all porn before the deceased's parents find it.

    • Steve comes out of the cubicle to buy a condom, but since he meets Susan there he doesn't get it. After his return he and Jane immediately "get going" without -as we have to believe- the condom.

  • Quotes

    • Susan: Let's just take it one breast at a time.

    • Jeff: Your best friend is dead, but there's a bright side.

    • Susan: You have a girlfriend?
      Steve: Well... at the moment.
      Susan: At the moment?
      Steve: You're early.

    • (Susan shows her breasts to her friends)
      Jeff: No, no! That's the left, we want the good one.

    • (Susan is being forced to show the gang a breast)
      Susan: Which one, any preference?
      Jeff: Either.
      Steve: Don't mind...
      Patrick: The right one... trust me.
      Susan: What's wrong with the left one?
      Patrick: Oh don't be like that. There has to be a second place.
      Susan: I wasn't aware you assessed them individually.
      Patrick: You were asleep, I was bored!

    • Susan: We were only seeing each other once a week. That's not exactly a sex life. You must have been doing a lot of... um... solo flights?
      Patrick: No, I wasn't.
      Susan: Oh, come on?
      Patrick: I certainly was not. I was saving it all up for you.
      Susan (laughs): No, really? Oops! Look, I'm not saying it wasn't good. I'm just saying it didn't seem like a week's worth.

    • Steve: It's not as bad as it sounds. I was in the toilet cubical with Jane. When I nipped out to get a condom, I asked out Susan.
      Jeff: The zone has a new king. (bows down to Steve) But you will rule alone.

    • Jeff: I was only faking so I wouldn't have to have sex with you. That wasn't a great defence was it? Look, sex can be very stressful for men - you judge us on technique, sensitivity, stamina - we're just happy if you're naked, half-naked, one breast...

    • Susan: OK, so let me guess, you asked him out the moment I dumped him. Sally, you don't even like him!
      Sally: I panicked! My neck looked old this morning.

    • Jeff: Do you know the biggest turn off on a first date?
      Steve: You?

    • Jeff: In the event of Steve's death the first thing I will do, upset though I will be, is go straight to his house and remove all the pornography before his parents can find it.

    • Patrick: We need to talk.
      Susan: Sure.
      Patrick: About our relationship. I'm just starting to think it's all getting a bit hot and heavy and we both need to back off and cool down. You know, maybe we should both think about where everything is going and whether we're starting to commit more than we intend to or want to.
      Susan: What relationship?

    • Jeff: Steve, do you know what I call this kind of woman? You know, the type you can't get rid of?
      Steve: Is this going to be really tasteless? Am I going to be ashamed to be your friend?
      Jeff (he laughs): It's a technical term. It's just a harmless expression.
      Steve: Alright, hit me.
      Jeff: Bah, unflushable!
      Steve: Turn around, Jeff. Walk away.
      Jeff: Cause they keep bobbing around.
      Steve: No, no. Go Jeff. Go. Go! Don't look back. Go.

    • Jeff: So you dump her and she does this suggesting thing?
      Steve: Yeah, I'll be just about to leave, I'll be thinking I'm finally out and she just leans over, looks me in the eyes and goes "I'm wearing stockings".
      Jeff: No!
      Steve: And she's never worn them before, not once in the entire relationship. I begged.
      Jeff: Yeah, but Steve, you're entitled to her stockings.
      Steve: Am I?
      Jeff: Yes. You're still in the zone.
      Steve: The what?
      Jeff: The boyfriend zone, this is the tailing off period. You still have a load of stuff at her flat, you might still have a wedding to go to together. Your under joint headings in your friends address books.
      Steve: And that means I'm entitled to see her underwear?
      Jeff: If it comes up. That's the rules of the zone. Good luck in there Steve!
      Steve: You're a strange and disturbing man, Jeff.

    • Sally: Since thirty I've had to put a daily limit on facial expressions. I only ever smile at single men so I can justify the loss of elasticity.

    • Steve: So last time I dumped her, we had amazing, fantastic, borderline illegal sex. Now she thinks we're back on.
      Jeff: Well that's ridiculous!
      Steve: I know, one swallow does not make her my girlfriend.

    • Jeff: Do you think she knows you're gonna dump her?
      Steve: She ought to know by now. I've dumped her the last four times I've seen her.
      Jeff: So what goes wrong?
      Steve: We have sex.
      Jeff: You have sex?
      Steve: She makes me.
      Jeff: How?
      Steve: She suggests it.
      Jeff: She suggests it.
      Steve: Exactly
      Jeff: (pauses) Evil!

    • Susan: I want you to remember, I intend this breast satirically.
      Patrick: Now there's a sentence that can't come up too often.

    • Susan: Sally, does it ever occur to you that age brings wisdom and greater confidence?
      Sally: Susan, age brings you more to shave.

    • Sally: Mary Kelly thinks you're a complete idiot.
      Patrick: Then why does she keep looking at my ass when we're talking?
      Sally: She's lip-reading.

  • Notes

    • Interestingly enough, one of the main plot points here, wherein Steve is trying to dump Jane but she refuses to accept, is mirrored in the American show "Sports Night" towards the end of its first season, as Jeremy attempts to dump Natalie, but she refuses to be dumped. In Sports Night, though, Natalie is the one who is right, and Jeremy is being silly. If there was any copying, it likely had to be Coupling, as the SN episodes were aired a good year before Coupling appeared.

    • This episode was remade in the American "Coupling", but with all "unflushable" references cut out, so that episode title is simply "Pilot".

  • Allusions

    • Steve: Remember Crippen?
      Jane: Here we go, bring up Crippen again. You seem to forget the Crippens enjoyed many happy years of marriage before he murdered her.

      Steve is referring to Dr. Hawley Harvey Crippen who in 1910 murdered his wife to be with his lover Ethel le Neve. He was tried, sentenced and executed for the murder later that year.