Coupling

Steve: Oh, come on, The Piano? Jane: All men hate that film. Jeff: I liked it. Holly Hunter was naked for most of it. Sally: She was nude in one scene! Jeff: Depends how you watch it...

Patrick: I can't believe you said you loved her. She wasn't even naked!

Susan: Trust me, most marriage proposals are the result of a longer than average silence.

Jane (about Steve): He said he loved you? Susan: It's what men do when there's a gap in the conversation. They hate silence, it makes them feel guilty. Pause for a second and they ask you what's wrong, two seconds and they ask if you've got your period, three seconds and they love you.

Jane: I'm an emotional vegetarian. I know a lot of vegetarians and we tend to like the same films.

Steve (talking about Susan): Does she now think I'm some kind of masturbating pervert? Jeff: You are. Patrick: We all are. Steve: True.

Jane: Maybe tidying is true love. Sally: Nah, oral sex.

Jeff: Well? Patrick: Porn? Steve (Head on his arms): Yes! Jeff: Which one? (Steve raises his head and looks at Jeff.) Not.... Inferno? Steve: Inferno! Oh my God. Patrick: No problem. Jeff: What? Patrick: As long as she hasn't watched any of it, I mean, you can't tell anything from a title like Inferno? Steve: Patrick, Inferno isn't the full title. Patrick: Well, how bad can it be? Sally (in the girls' hangout): Lesbian Spank Inferno?

Jill: We agreed two months ago to end your therapy as it was going nowhere. Remember? Jane: I thought it was an exercise to help me cope with rejection. Jill: No, that was rejection.

Steve: I want to spend the rest of my life with the woman at the end of that table there, but that does not stop me wanting to see several thousand more naked bottoms before I die, because that's what being a bloke is. When man invented fire, he didn't say, "Hey, let's cook." He said, "Great, now we can see naked bottoms in the dark." As soon as Caxton invented the printing press, we were using it to make pictures of, hey, naked bottoms! We have turned the Internet into an enormous international database of naked bottoms. So you see, the story of male achievement through the ages, feeble though it may have been, has been the story of our struggle to get a better look at your bottoms.

Sally: You know, I have never understood the male obsession with lesbianism - a whole area of sex with nothing for them to do. Just answered my own question, haven't I?

Steve: I like naked women. I'm a bloke. I'm supposed to like them. We're born like that. We like naked women as soon as we're pulled out of one. Halfway down the birth canal we're already enjoying the view.

Steve: It's the four pillars of the male heterosexual psyche: we like naked women, stockings, lesbians, and Sean Connery best as James Bond because that's what being a boy is.

Patrick: I like films with lesbians in them because it's nice to think there are attractive women out there who can't find a boyfriend.

Jane: Vegetarianism for me is about saying yes to things, even meat.

Jeff: Oh, wouldn't that be great... being a lesbian. All the advantages of being a man, but with less embarrassing genitals.Plus every time you have sex, there's four breasts: two guest breasts and two you can take home afterwards.