-
Steve (to Susan): Sorry I'm so rubbish.
-
Tamsin: So, are you seeing anyone?
Oliver: Well, No. I guess it's a bit soon for all that isn't it? Isn't it?
Tamsin: It's been a year...
Oliver: Well, no we only...
Tamsin: Since we've had sex...
Oliver: Well actually it's been...
Tamsin: Both of us succesfully.
Oliver: Okay.
(Oliver stares at Tamsin's chest.)
Tamsin: What is the fasination with bosom staring?
Oliver: I don't know really. Maybe it's because the bosom is the only erogenous zone that can stare back.
Tamsin: Goodbye Oliver.
Oliver: Tamsin, now that we're officially 'Splitto', do you think we could risk having a friendly drink?
Tamsin: No!
Oliver: Cool.
Tamsin: Bye!
Oliver: see ya
(She leaves. Door closes. Box screams 'Exterminate' and Oliver hits it. Oliver picks up bag as he looks at door.)
Oliver: Definitely thawing... Splitto?
-
Tamsin: Oliver! It's nearly Midnight for goodness sake!
Oliver: Oh, Tamsin, Hello. Just got a few deliveries... Craziness!
Tamsin: More toys for your little shop?
Oliver: Well Tv and movie tie in merchandise if that's what you mean.
(He places his hand in a box)
Box: Exterminate! Exterm...
(Oliver slams the box again)
Tamsin: Anyway, I was just passing. Saw you with your face in your drool, lots of little robots, and I thought That'l be my ex-boyfriend... Takes your eyes of my boosem.
Oliver: Sorry yeah. (He stares again.) Have they got bigger?
Tamsin: No just more unavailable.
Oliver: Okay.
-
In bed:
Sally: (waking him up): Patrick? Patrick?
Patrick: I can't stay the night; I've got a breakfast meeting.
Sally: It's okay, it's okay! You're home.
Patrick: Sorry, autopilot
Sally: I've heard about your autopilot. Susan has told me stories.
Patrick: Like?
Sally: Like once you accidentally phoned a girl a taxi before you had sex.
Patrick: Oh, that. It wasn't exactly an accident.
Sally: No?
Patrick: There's a difference between an accident and a quickie.
Sally: Oh god.
Patrick: What?
Sally: What sort of woman would ever have sex with you?!
-
Sally: I can't believe I'm with a man with a pregnancy fetish!
Patrick: I can't believe I'm with a woman who suddenly wants a baby!
Sally: How is it ever gonna work?
-
Steve: (about Susan and her pregnancy) I've made my bed now I've got to lie to it. In it, obviously.
-
Steve: Jane, Could you stop doing this? Could you stop just wandering in thru my front door? Because this is not, repeat not, an American sitcom.