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Jeff: Yeah. I hate phoning, you never know who is gonna answer.
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Sally: Do you know what my neck needs?
Susan: To be left alone. You've already got enough products on you to make a spare woman. If anti-aging cream actually worked, you'd be back in puberty.
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Dream Steve: Why are you always turning up in these dreams?
Dream Jeff: It's a gift.
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Dream Susan: What are you doing here? (in her dream)
Dream Jeff: (Arms full of porn videos) Spooky, isn't it?
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Jeff: (to Steve) You phone someone, someone you know...or a woman...
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Sally: You're a woman; 'needy' is our golf.
Susan: What does that mean?
Sally: I don't know. I didn't think it through.
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Sally: You've always got to send a man a book when you split up, to prove how you're a caring, giving person, and how they're going to die in a pit of their own filth.
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Steve: Lap dancing is the ultimate nightmare of man. Porn that can see you.
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Steve: I'm single again. I need to look at naked women.
Susan: I'm single again. I need to look good naked.
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Jeff: No, I don't talk to women when they're emotional. They're allowed to slap you.
Steve: Over the phone?
Jeff: Well, she'll remember for next time. Women remember, Steve. It's like they've got minds of their own.