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Covert Affairs S04E07: "Crackity Jones"


Oh sure, Covert Affairs, sink the ship just when they were starting to act like adults tasked with defending 'MURCA and FREEDOM again–or at least, as much as Annie and Auggie (but mostly Annie) ever did. Was the break-up scene sad? Idk. I was too busy trying to reconcile the amount of time I've lost trying to accept Augnie–time that I will never get back–to invest too much emotion in their parting of ways. It's a shame too, because I think we were really close to a breakthrough on this end. So close to not gagging like a grade-schooler every time either of them opened their face-hole! So close!

But alas, the good ship Augnie is not to be. Yet. The obvious Covert Affairs endgame is obvious, but fine, fine, I'll play along for now. For all the foreshadowing and teasing that's been part of Covert Affairs' standard operating procedures since preeeetty much the beginning of the series, Annie and Auggie's official relationship status did feel a wee bit sudden this season. They were practically siblings for the first 2.5 seasons of the show! You can't just have them start sucking face like that, near death and disastrous other relationships aside. Half the time I couldn't figure out if I was grossed out or not because, you know, cooties and stuff. 

Sinking the ship at this point in the season also served to give Annie and Auggie a little bit of street cred back. Surprise-not-dead Helen warned Annie that Henry Wilcox would use Annie's willingness to break the rules for true lurve and a certain August Anderson against her and that's 100% correctamundo. Half the time, Annie doesn't even need much outside convincing to ditch God and country and common sense for her latest B-friend. RIP, SIMON! Sorry that whole "running away together and living happily ever after while spending the rest of your natural lives trying to stay one step ahead of every single government" plan didn't work out for you!

Our mission this week was about as straight-forward as it gets, blah blah rocket launchers–outside of Auggie's late "wife" being a little more alive than he expected after seven years. She played it cool at first and stuck to the story: that their marriage had only ever been a cover and Auggie was the one who couldn't keep real life and spy life separate. In the end, we found out that she was just as invested in their sham marriage, but blew her cover and subsequently faked her death to protect Auggie because no one can resist Auggie. 

Except Arthur. I guess they're not pals anymore because Arthur knew Helen was alive the whole time and didn't tell Auggie BECAUSE THEY'RE SPIES. THEY'RE FREAKING SPIES. NOT TELLING PEOPLE THINGS IS PRETTY MUCH THE ENTIRE JOB DESCRIPTION. I expect this sort of dimwitted romantic temper tantrum crap from Annie but Auggie is supposed to be the grounded one. Joan even said so when Auggie shooed his friends away with pizza money so he could sneak over to Langley and ask her why she paired him with Annie. Why he couldn't just pick up the phone, I'm not entirely sure. He's blind, not deaf. Also, phones for the hearing impaired are totally a thing so even if he was momentarily deafened by the sound of his own internal rendition of "Teenage Dream," the cross-town trek to literally ask the woman a single question just seemed like an excuse to change up the sets or give Kari Matchett some screen time. 

Anyway, "Auggie grounds Annie." Um. Have you been watching Captain Romance justify every possible argument against workplace fraternization this season? Cuz he has. Annie isn't even his first spy-girlfriend either. However, his slightly-overbearing, definitely over-protective behavior isn't entirely new–we saw it with Parker, especially after their little pirate cruise together. Maybe Auggie is just one of those annoying boyfriends. 

Annie is by no means off the hook, but in recent episodes, her ability to balance her job and her personal life has actually gotten better. Sure, balancing all the lies and secrets and maintaining the required spy boundaries was hard and forced Annie and Auggie's relationship into rough territory before they even got to peeing-with-the-door open status, but really, the relationship was in its infancy when they punted it. Any relationship goes through that awkward adjustment phase where you have to see how all the romance fits in with the rest of your life–even non-spy hook-ups. That Auggie and Annie couldn't make it work right now certainly doesn't mean the end of them as a potential future thing, and even though I've spent the entirety of this season thus far deriding them for being actual children about it the entire time, maybe their sudden break is indicative of their returning maturity, maturity and understanding that they needed from the very beginning of their fling if it was ever going to move past being a top secret office romance. In the official count of TV break-ups, Auggie and Annie's was rather civil, mutual, and baggage-free. 

There's hope for them yet. 

In the meantime, can we go back to Joan and Arthur being awesome? It's been awhile. 

Notes

– When Helen was sassing Annie about her poor decision making skills, Annie sassed back and said her decisions have served her well so far. Oh, Annie

– My goodness, Auggie gets a lot of nookie this season. #GetSome

– "Crackity Jones" is a Pixies song, like every episode title this season, and it's episodes like this where I wish I was more versed in my Pixies knowledge. 

– On that note, I'm interested to know how the powers that be over at Covert Affairs decide which musicians they're going to mine for episode titles. So far we've had Led Zeppelin, R.E.M., David Bowie, and the Pixies. Clearly, good taste all around, so do you think it's just like an office pool or bloodsport or what?

– Do you think Augnie will sail again by the end of the season? Is the break-up sincere or just a ruse to throw Wilcox off? 


Previously Aired Episode

AIRED ON 12/18/2014

Season 5 : Episode 16

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Being a spy is no good reason to let a man, who you work closely with, go on thinking his wife is dead. That's really lame to say in your review. Auggie had every right to be upset at the lying Peter who always puts his job ahead of his wife!!
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Sorry but Auggie is annoying, however our book club totally supports actors with talent & Eyal aka Oded is one of our favourites for many reasons. Bring Eyal back & maybe it can stop CA from sinking, with the recent rotten scripts & foul Annie & Auggie yucky romance, it's cost so many ratings already. Top long term shows like NCIS & BBC:S SPOOKS never paired their leads as the reason is obvious. Auggie as a main lead just doesn't cut it. He is an appalling pretend blind person & although the creators have resorted to cheap tricks like puny Auggie with his small artificially built up frame (appearing in b/room romps) is a sad attempt to hook younger viewers, it's resulted in a drop in ratings. The show needs top shelf actors to bring it out of it's current nose dive into which Auggie has brought it too. Sorry Auggie but there is no substitute for good acting. Don't be so jealous of talented actors like Oded. We know you had him exiled.
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I'm telling you, MaryAnn, I'm so very OUT after this season, and this episode only cemented that. Espionage taking a back seat to feelings, and soapy feelings at that, what HAPPENED?!? Go away Augnie, none of the dialogue about how they got here and why they were set up together made a lick of sense, none of it resonated with their first season behavior. And I just don't think Annie earns a lick of street cred after these episodes, the missions are so simplistic now and she blows every single one.

I read the rest of the review and the questions, but couldn't muster the interest to care, I'm sad that they ruined this show, it had so much more promise.
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I really hope Annie/Auggie get back 2gether before this summer season is over. Seeing them be apart is gonna really suck But as much as it saddens me to admit this I think that their break-up is beneficial for right now I mean Annie is still in dip shit with Calder and Henry so being with Auggie right now would only put her and him in even more danger. I hope that Calder is revealed to be working with Annie when he 'shoots' her I would be so MAD if she isn't in on it! I also can't wait to see the reappearance of Eyal I hope he is brought back before the summer season is over 2!
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I'm finally caught up on CA... So can someone answer me what was the point of those two fawning all over each other for 3 seasons and burning out so quickly? Where is Augge's car that he gave her? Did she trade it in for another VW? Annie was willing to go Postal for Simon, but gave up on Auggie the moment she meets his EX. This show tends to be on my C list because it's too inconsistent, although the eye candy brings me basck ;)
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I'm not on board with the Auggie/Annie negativity. It seems like fans, especially the largely female fanbase, see comfort and familiarity as almost incestuous and lacking in chemistry which bums me out. I suppose he's just too nice to her and cares too much about her? Though the lack of sparks might make for less tantalizing television, it doesn't mean they don't belong together. Personally, I saw it as a sign of growth for the show which meant it was getting past the romance (after dropping the lame sister) and maturing as a show.

I also want to add that the theme song is sorely missed and was a foolish decision. I believe they dropped it because it kind of seemed a little silly and feminine and they wanted to get a larger male audience, but I thought it really complimented the show.

Lastly Annie overall is a pretty terrible spy. Her tailing skills are pretty awful and she doesn't seem to understand how to seek information without being extremely obvious about it. Obviously they write it this way to speed things along, but it makes her out to be fairly incompetent.
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I fell asleep and can't be bothered to watch it again.
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So they put them together so they could break them up? How very rom-com. Could two actors have less chemistry than these two? I think not. It is a shame because this show was starting to get good last season with the Jai story and it went and just killed momentum with this stupid pairing. I said it before and I'll say it again, the writers 'David and Mattie'd this thing from the get go. Glad its over, praying it stays that way.

I thought it was funny having Michelle Ryan pretending to be MI-6. She got to 'fake' her natural accent. I liked Helen and hope they return this character sooner rather than later.

Best character this season is Henry Wilcox. If Annie was smart, she'd have taken his job offer.
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I found that funny too (Michelle Ryan fake "accent").
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Oh please put a sock in it CA writers & creators, take note of long running TV series like BBC Spooks & NCIS, they don't pair the main leads. It was friends with benefits re Annie & Auggie. No chemistry at all, seems like Auggie was jealous of Eyal & that's why he pounced on Annie's vulnerable emotional state, hence he constantly questioned Annie on her feelings for Eyal. Eyal needs to return & elevate CA, it's sinking that's for sure.
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So, why do I detest these two together so very much? They almost seem incestuous and without any chemistry whatsoever. They truly make me cringe.

Also, what is the point of saying they will end up together. How has that ever made "Covert Affairs" into a better show? It bewilders me and has from the beginning.
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He is blind not stupid. He just wanted to give Annie a test drive ;) I wonder what ex of his they will dig up next.
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Love you review! (I really don't have anything to comment this week except that I agree with everything and I also thought RIP SIMON. Poor Simon, I loved him).
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1. I agree with you MaryAnn - it's a matter of time till Augnie will return. I guess it will happen at the end of this season or during the next one (if Annie survives the shooting that is). In the meantime I want some sweet Annie - Theo bow chicka bow wow time.

2. It was great to see Michelle Ryan aka Jaime Sommers, the Bionic woman. I really like that actress - and I hope we'll see more of Helen in the following episodes.
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That's who that was! I thought she looked familiar. I actually watched Bionic Woman. Too bad it was on NBC where every new show is DOA.
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I watched Bionic Woman for Michelle Ryan and Katee Sackhoff (I watch Longmire for the same reason now). Also I've seen worse shows - Bionic Woman wasn't as bad as they say...
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I agree. BW wasn't as bad as many people say. But it was a fail since the beginning. Even Michelle said she felt it wouldn't be a long-term TV show. (For example the person who signed her for the show was fired when they started filming.) Shame...

But despite it was a very short-lived show I've always been grateful for it because I saw Michelle first in this show and since then I'm a big fan of hers. Last year I saw her in theatre in London (she played Sally Bowles in the new revival of the Cabaret musical, and I've never heard Michelle singing before but she has a fantastic voice) and we had a little chat after her performance, she's very lovely in person. I told her I think, she's a very underrated actress. She was surprised. :)

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Minus her whinny sister (who killed it) the show was alright..
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Yeah I hope we see more of Helen again soon I like her she is pretty badass!
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and nice legs ;)
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Finally. Maybe now we can see some real spy stuff. Annie and Augie really need to grow before they can be together again (if ever).
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The whole relationship with Annie and Auggie this season has been really authentic and even though they act like two gauwky high schoolers in love a decent amount through the season it has been a nice change from previous seasons. That is until this episode. There hasn't been a episode this season that I haven't loved until now. I was really looking forward to Helen being introduced but it was a major letdown, she is a really shallow and dull character that takes away from the strong things they've done with this show. And as much as we know that Annie and Auggie aren't done with their relationship due to the 2 flash-forwards it still felt unnecessary and a waste of time. I hope that they are able to rebound from this episode cause it was by far one of the worst episodes of the series. However I have faith in this show. On a different note I look forward to finding out what's really going on with Calder. After the first flash-worward it seemed pretty clear that Calder was a bad guy. But now that we had a second flash-forward in last weeks episode that showed Annie being shot and appearing dead it would seem likely that Calder could be working with Annie at that point. I look forward to seeing that arc-line develop and the rest of the season.
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Me 2, I SO want Annie 2 be in on the 'shoot-out' with Calder in the flash-forward!
I mean it would SUCK if she isn't! I cannot wait 4 the summer finale 2 see if she is!
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I have to disagree with you. I think they were very adult through the whole relationship, short as it was. The breakup didn't really sadden me, but it was definitely handled maturely to me given they both came to the same conclusion without arguing or yelling at each other. I definitely gotta give them credit for that. I was optimistic about those two getting together, but pessimistic about them lasting.

Helen and Annie's conversation was interesting to hear too. She made good points about Henry using Annie's conscience and friends against her, as well as mentioning she would eventually have to choose: spy or relationship. As much as I hate to admit it, their line of work only allows for one given deceiving is in their nature. She purely demonstrated that by disappearing on him the way she did. And btw, Auggie is a protective (sometimes over-protective) boyfriend, not an annoying one, so you're way wrong there.

I for one am fan of Annie's methods. She thinks more with her heart than her head, and while it puts her in crazy situations, that makes her more of an asset than Helen could ever be, in my opinion. Helen made the right choice of leaving (and saving) Auggie and the mission, but in the process, she became someone that is there one moment and gone the next. Annie, on the other hand, has assets in different organizations and countries because of her willingness to consider them as friends, not just assets or names on paper. Annie's choices have DEFINITELY benefited her so far to me.

As for Henry, well, he slips away again. He always seems to be one step ahead of, well, everyone lol. He's definitely become one of those bad guys I love to hate.

Good for Joan and Arthur to be the lone exception to the spies/relationships rule. I'm definitely impressed with them this season.
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The whole sink the Augnie ship wasn’t sad but a trite contrivance. Not that I have a stake in the Augnie ship, but really. If the writers mean to sink the ship at least do it with some finesse. Two people of Augie’s and Anne’s intellect can’t figure out that ‘normal’ where active spies are concerned is an oxymoron? It’s not like either of them can meet some ‘normal’ person and have a ‘normal’ relationship. How do you tell your non-spy partner you’re off to a foreign country where you might get killed? Or you just came back from a trip where you killed a bad guy arms dealer? The whole emotional attachments will trip you up is a valid spy mantra, but the breakup scene lacked a questioning of that logic, and neither of them even questioned that as spies maybe they need a different definition of ‘normal’. And why wouldn’t Annie seek some heart to heart council from Joanne before making a decision? Because trite is easier to write.
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In the pilot episode (or one of the really really early ones) I think Auggie said that the CIA actually encourages agents to have relationships -- though probably not handler + agent.

I believe he said for reasons similar to what you suggest: that having relationships with regular civilians would just complicate matters. Meanwhile a significant other can be a support structure for when things are tough... and it's hard to ask your sig other to be your support when you can't even be a little honest or they have no idea what you're going through.
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Yes I remember Auggie saying that... It was a setup to get those two together.
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I've always found it a bit silly and/or lazy when a show uses a song or album title as its episode title. It's been done so many times that it's almost a cliche now. The same goes for puns on movie titles. Be original, folks.

The first time I saw that done was way back when NewsRadio was still airing. The story goes that the producers couldn't think up a decent title in time for one episode late in the second season, so they just used the name of a Led Zeppelin album ("In Through the Out Door"). They continued that theme for the remainder of the second season, ending up with nine consecutive episodes that were LZ album titles. One episode late in the third season revisited that earlier "gag." It's just not as good as some of the more original titles, such as "Super Karate Monkey Death Car" and "Stupid Holiday Charity Talent Show." ;-)

Oops, I've digressed...

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Helen telling Annie that she can either love Augie or stop Henry is a perfect example of "Post hoc ergo propter hoc", the logical fallacy that because one thing happens, the other will, even if they are unrelated.This episode in particular abused this over and over by basically saying if you have emotional attachments, you can't be a spy. Even by the shows logic you can and have an example in Joanne and Arthur. This is the writers desperate ploy to throw you off the scent that the break up is only semi real and allow them to milk more tension out of the will they/ won't they get together of Augie and Annie's relationship. And since Augie(Chris Gorham) writes and/or produces; maybe he is horny and that why his charachter is getting to mix it up.
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If I could go to work tomorrow and create a situation where I had to make out with Michelle Ryan, I would definitely do that. Even if I wasn't feeling particularly horny, because Michelle Ryan.
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She would have to use that accent of hers ;)
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When I collapse, will you forget?
When I'm dead and gone, will you regret?
All of the constant, mocking bitter slander
I imposed when you were so upset
When you grabbed your keys, said you were gone
Couldn't help myself, I passed the gun
Inform my friends and family I lived well
It's just my choices
They were wrong
They were wrong,
They were wrong,
They were wrong,
They were wrong, wrong, wrong

Can you save me?
From this nothing I've become
It's just something that I've done
Never meant to cause you worry
Don't you blame me
For this nothing I've become
It's just something that I've done
Never meant to show you my mistakes

When I collapse, break bones, will you forget
All the months we've spent on loneliness
Long nights, short days, brief conversations
Led to nothing more than arguments
I would fix this if I could
I'd change this… you know I would
It's been a long time comin', a long time fakin'
It's hard to say that you're misunderstood.

Can you save me?
From this nothing I've become
It's just something that I've done
Never meant to cause you worry
Don't you blame me
For this nothing I've become
It's just something that I've done
Never meant to show you my mistakes

I don't know, I don't know
I don't know where I am headed
All I can tell is that you're gone!
All I know,
All I know I've become a disappointment
Sorry if I'm always wrong!

All your perspectives stand
I'm not the same creature that I was back then
With a slight touch and an honest glance
I'm never coming back
Never going back there again

Can you save me?
Can you save me?

Can you save me?
From this nothing I've become
It's just something that I've done
Never meant to cause you worry
Don't you blame me
For this nothing I've become
It's just something that I've done
Never meant to show you my mistakes

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Without any actual knowledge of these people, I'm gonna say the episode titles are simply because the writers were teenagers in the mid-70s to early 80s.
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Hmm, I was a teenager in the late '70s myself so maybe I should know what the heck "Crackity Jones" means but I admit to being stumped. (CBA to Google it, either.) Now if that's an '80s reference then I plead ignorance with no regrets. I had already begun to lose interest in pop music by then, given the general decline in well-structured songs and the highly lamentable loss of decent guitar solos.

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Ah, I just saw MaryAnn's comment about it being a Pixies title. That fully explains my not recognizing it.

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The break up scene wasn't sad. It was pretty much the only adult scene they ever shared as a couple.
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Is it just me or are the titles of these recent episodes not really making much, if any, sense at all?
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