Okay, I'm done with the fixation on Piper Perabo's hair. She's a brunette now. Hurr hurr. Whatever. GIRL, YOU DON'T MIX THAT STUFF IN A METAL BOWL, THOUGH. IT CORRODES. Actually, that might just be bleach, but what the H, Annie? You can't use the crappy little plastic bottle like the rest of us?
Covert Affairs may have let us in on the secret that Annie isn't actually D-E-D at the end of the mid-season finale just a short four weeks ago, but certain key members in Annie's life aren't in the know. Like Danielle, who I guess just isn't on this show anymore, and maybe Joan and Arthur who seemed rather at ease considering that— man, where to even start with their issues. They're holding up really well, don't you think?
Auggie is on the DL, however, which is a definite win for those of us who are still on Team Walkerson—especially since they've gotten way less annoying in their time away. Or apart. Or something. Annie is chillin' in Europe trying to snug up to Henry Wilcox's ex-wife and Jai's ex-mom, leaving Auggie to be awesome snarky bros with Calder. I kind of love Calder these days. Therefore, I'm preparing for his inevitable death. I'll miss his sass. He has such great sass!
As is appropriate for an episode with a title as blunt as "Dead," Covert Affairs' mid-season return didn't waste any time tossing us back into the frying pan of Annie's life. There was a montage that explained what she was up to. There was some short and sweet Campbell family exposition. There was a quick and dirty intro to the Auggie/Calder bromance. ("You make a convincing asshole." <3) And there was a delightfully focused mission—the lack of which was a huge problem for me last season. Last season the feel was very much "Okay, Lena's dead, now what?" and I cried a lot and it was sad and I think I even compared Covert Affairs to Glee at least once, which is a pretty big insult, actually.
The moral of the story is that we only have five episodes left in this season and we're still engaged with the story and we know what the story is and the story doesn't suck. Boosh!
Annie is working the Jai's-Mom-Has-It-Goin'-On angle. Calder is cozying up to Henry back stateside. Arthur is under house arrest, and Joan not only really knows how to dress that baby bump but is surprisingly pleasant for a woman who was just super-demoted to the literal bowels of the building. I know that the endgame is most likely a full return to glory/power for Joan, but her graciousness with the awkward analysts was presh.
Unnnnfortunately, it looks like Teo is really dead for real, but I'm still going to chase that statement with a "for now" because that whole situation continues to seem kind of fishy and odd. I groaned over Annie talking about her brother,"Theo," during counseling/stalking time, but at least the show is going with the "brother" angle and not that weird half-romantic thing they had going on in the mid-season finale. If we're even calling the previous episode a "mid-season finale." FOUR WEEKS IS BARELY A HIATUS, YOU GUYS. What even happens in four weeks? I killed a basil plant and got pulled over for speeding. That's about it. What about you?
And what about Covert Affairs' return? I thought it was a solid continuation of a generally solid season so far—ignoring Annie and Auggie being gross teenagers for the first handful of episodes eew. Alright, I'm outie. Later, gators!
– OMG ACTUAL PIXIES SONG USED IN THE EPISODE YESSSSS.
– So much Fight Club this week (and this season, really)! "Where's My Mind" is the song from the end of the movie, and Annie hanging out in group therapy sessions for the hell of it/to stalk Jai's mom kind of reeked of Marla Singer. She even had that "I haven't showered in two days and probably got really high before coming-here" look going on.
– I may or may not have been yelling at Annie to just electrocute her hostage already. BAMFy Annie with questionable ethics is my favorite Annie.
– Annie's landlord! <3
– TEO IS NOT DEAD. STOP IT, COVERT AFFAIRS. STOP IT RIGHT NOW.
– Do you have any predictions regarding the rest of the season?
AIRED ON 12/18/2014
Season 5 : Episode 16