Okay, let's get one thing clear because we're super smart and will not be falling for this fake-out B.S.: Annie isn't dead. She just isn't. And she's not on her "last mission" (actually, I think that line might be from the episode promo). I know how marketing and hype and getting people psyched for upcoming episodes work but c'mon.
ANYWAY, Calder took over for Auggie officially in "Here Comes Your Man" and the whole office was real sassy about it. Calder don't care. He's like a honey badger, just more attractive. In fact, Calder is so BAMFY that he didn't think twice about separating the golden couple and shipping Annie off to Vienna to something something bad guy something something Teo and forcing Auggie to make do with a super spy side project that I'm sure will come in handy later in the season because everybody spent a good chunk of time blabbing about it and explaining what it does (spy stuff, of course.)
Also, Smithsonian cover reference! Annie was "fired." Covers are hard.
Whether Calder was splitting up the wonder twins out of spite or simply because of the legitimate security concern their entire kissy-faced existence actually is can be debated, and I'm not sold on one angle or another, but the dude did have a point about how Auggie is so painfully obvious that a rookie fresh from the farm would be able to see that they're banging.
Of course, Annie and Auggie paid no mind to their mean boss and chatted regularly the entire time Annie was abroad. Also, is it just me (and sure, I could go back and check, but I won't, because I'm busy) or does Annie end up going to Vienna like, all the time?
Unsurprisingly, Teo showed up in Vienna and wasted Annie's target, but then totally helped her not get dead until he apparently stole some rocket launchers while she wasn't looking. That's our Annie, America's finest super spy extraordinaire. Ain't no one gonna get something past Annie—except the pretty Colombian rogue with a vendetta against the guy who killed his mom and a nice pair of puppy dog eyes. <3 her. Also, yay for Annie telling Auggie to buzz off when he grilled her on the details of her mission. At least one of them still has a shred of professionalism, though the change in tune was kind of hilarious considering how hardcore Annie herself was about the secret thing just last week.
Joan and Arthur went on a date. Aww.
And Dead Seth's bod washed up, so Annie's career is potentially compromised. Again.
Finally, Annie's fabulous glam and not-at-all-practical footwear made a return. Do you think lady spies learn how to run in stilettos without breaking their ankles at the farm? I feel like that could be a thing. I mean, Annie's cover and her costume of the night depended on looking like a goddess and you just can't wear flats with a gown like that—sure, technically you could—but you'd look silly. So even though I make fun of Annie's shoes (and pine for them), realistically, the woman can't wear flats or tennis shoes for every mission ever. My theory is that there was a "How to Run In Heels Without Dying 101" course and everybody took it. It's not like you can't run in heels, after all.
Anyway, that's a wrap on a generally good week on The Annie and Auggie Show. I think I'm getting desensitized to their grossness because even though it was everywhere, it wasn't as annoying as usual. But since they're incapable of not being annoying, let's just say it was "desensitized."
Plus the focus of the episode remained on the mission and Auggie's lover's quarrels were kept to the periphery, where they belong. Bye, darlings! See you next week.
– My Calder/Annie theory is that he's a good guy and they're faking Annie's death to get Wilcox to out himself to Calder. Or something. What's yours?
– Do we have to end every episode with some sort of PG-rated groping? I promise I won't forget that they're dating.
– Did you guys see the Covert Affairs gift basket commercial for Modern Family? I actually thought it was really cute and funny. Idk.
– Who was following Wilcox?
AIRED ON 12/18/2014
Season 5 : Episode 16