Cracker

Worker #1 (doing a crossword): Rottweiler. R-O-T-T-W-I-E-L-E-R. Albie: You spelled it wrong. Worker #1: What? Albie: Rottweiler - R-O-T-T-W-E-I-L-E-R. Worker #2: It fits, don't it? Albie: It's WRONG! Worker #1: Piss off!

Fitz (to Judith): So I take it you're not in the mood for a quick shag?

Prof. Nolan (during his lecture): The disorganized criminals generally do not attempt to conceal or dispose of the body, making him more environmentally friendly than his organized counterpart.

Fitz (on two skinhead's urinary habits): You're the artistic kind - it goes everywhere. You're the Luke Skywalker type - straight like a lazer beam. I can't help but take a look - people usually find it disgusting . . . Skinhead: You lookin' for a broken nose, pal? Fitz: You know someone who can give me one, pal?

Albie (to Shahid Ali): There are a lot of bastards in the world, but you, you're a PAKI bastard! These insults - they're the only weapons I've got. (Albie draws a large bayonet.) Unless o' course you count this. (Albie thrusts it into Ali's chest. Ali's face contorts painfully and he collapses, dead, to the floor.) D'ya get my point?

Albie: This is my father's army bayonet. He loved his country - fought in Egypt, Italy, Africa, France. He died two weeks ago, and there were ten people at his funeral. Professor Nolan: I'm sorry. Albie: You're sorry? Well, he didn't matter 'cause he was a working class white man, did he? I was going to kill a Sun reporter - I AM going to kill a Sun reporter - but in the meantime, you'll do.