Criminal Minds

Nora Bennett: (watching the police funeral on television as a bagpiper plays "Amazing Grace") I can never get that sound out of my head. It wakes me up at night. If there was any justice, cop killers would have to hear it for an eternity.

Morgan: Do you have any idea how many cases run through there every year?
Garcia: 122,998.

Reid: (discussing his chopsticks) It's absolutely incredible. 1.3 billion people stay nourished using these things.

Hotchner: You're a genius.
Garcia: You're just saying that 'cause it's true.

Elle: You guys... we're here in New York and even when we aren't talking about our case we end up talking about another profiler.
Hotchner: You're right. So, Elle, you seeing anyone?

Reid: (to the waitress after having difficulty with his chopsticks) Excuse me, could I get a fork perhaps? (everyone laughs) Did you know that experts credit Confucius with the advent of the chopstick. He equated knives with acts of aggression.
Morgan: You don't know how to use them, do ya?
Reid: It's like trying to forage for dinner with a pair of number two pencils.

Hotchner: Gandhi also said, "I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent."

Gideon: Gandhi said, "It is better to be violent, if there is violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of nonviolence to cover impotence."

Reid: I'd like to see New York.
Morgan: You've never been to New York?
Reid: We've never had an unsub there.
Hotchner: (to Gideon) I thought you were going to talk to Reid about taking some vacation time.
Gideon: What's vacation time?

Officer: So are we looking for an ex-con or some nut job with an Amazon account?

Female Officer: (after hearing the unsub's profile) So we're looking for a small, angry white guy with a day job?

Hotchner: OK, here's what we know: Blitz attackers are almost always male.
Morgan: Well, he got picked up in the pouring rain by a New York cabbie, so we definitely know he's not a brother.