Criminal Minds

Prentiss: Well, roadside motels definitely going on my list... (Reid stares blankly) …of things to never do again.
Reid: You have a list?
Rossi: You don't?

Rossi: I wonder if this place was ever nice.
Hotchner: I was here. I talked to him and I didn't see it.
Rossi: He made himself look like a good guy. You bought it. It happens… to the best of us. Welcome to the club.

Garcia: (answering a call from Reid) I thought you forgot about me. It hurt.
Reid: Garcia, what information do you have on Sherwood, Nevada? (Garcia rattles off the information on her screen)
Hotchner: Garcia, can you send us a list of...
Garcia: ...addresses and phone numbers. On its way, kind sir. Anything else I can do you for?
Hotchner: Not for now.
Reid: Thank you, Garcia.
Garcia: You, my fine furry friends, are welcome.
Hotchner: Remind me to have her drug-tested.

Morgan: Ma'am, we're trying to trace the steps of a couple that may've been here a few days ago.
Betty: Darlin', I've waited on 87 folks since we opened this morning. Somebody'd have to come through here doing cartwheels on fire for me to remember.
Prentiss: Would you take a look anyway, please?
Betty: Huh. Well, I'll be. I do remember them.
Morgan: Were they doing cartwheels?
Betty: No, but I was. The lady left me a ten-dollar tip for breakfast... two days in a row.

Prentiss: I can't. I have a date.
Morgan: You got a date? (Prentiss nods) With who?
Prentiss: My hot tub.
Morgan: Now that sounds like a party.
Prentiss: You are so not invited. (Morgan slaps himself in the face).