Criminal Minds

Morgan: You really are afraid of the dark.
Reid: I'm working on that.
Morgan: You should work a little harder.

Coroner: At first blush it looks like Joe Finnegan died of natural causes.
Reid: His heart probably gave out while he was setting this (holds up a bear trap).
Coroner: Yeah, karma's a bitch. These coyotes were gnawing on him for a week.

Garcia: This is true. All complaints filed were false alarms, but then there is that matter of his missing wife.
Reid: Wife? What wife? When did she go missing?
Garcia: Almost 50 years ago.
Reid: No record of her ever being found?
Garcia: I got two words for you, my friend, Rear Window. That guy probably chopped that lady up into delicious, bite-little pieces. Think about it. She may never have left the premises.
Reid: Garcia, I'm sitting in the dark alone. Thanks.
Garcia: While you're waiting for a potential murderer to come home? Kind of dangerous. Kind of sexy.

Garcia: Reid, seriously, people that go inside that house never come out. Spoooky.
Reid: Garcia, could you at least pretend not to enjoy that rumor so much since I have actually entered that house?

JJ: The woods were the only thing I was afraid of when I was a kid.
Morgan: Seriously? I thought you grew up in a small town.
JJ: Yeah... surrounded by woods.

Reid: Did you guys hear that Elle was cleared?
Morgan: Self-defense.
Reid: So it was a good shoot?
JJ: Well, she hit what she was aiming for.
Reid: That's not what I meant.
JJ: I know.

Gideon: Why'd you hurt those kids?
Jeffrey Charles: Because I wanted to.

Morgan: (discussing Elle) She almost died. I'd be drinking, too.

Morgan: (looking at hunting trophies in Finnegan's house) When this is all said and done, I'd like to hang his head on my wall.

Morgan: (about being afraid as a child) The only thing I was afraid of was the dark.
Reid: Some of us still are.

Elle: (saying goodbye to Hotch) You know, when I first joined the team, I couldn't figure out why you never, ever smile. Now I think I'm actually gonna miss that.
Hotchner: (after Elle has walked away) I'm gonna miss you too.

Morgan: (after he and Reid learn the story JJ told them wasn't true) JJ, that was pretty good. Just know that paybacks are a bitch.
JJ: I'm shakin'.

Morgan: Yeah, Reid, why are you still afraid of the dark?
Reid: Because of the inherent absence of light.

Gideon: Unopened bowls of creamed spinach thrown into the trash, each one wrapped with duct tape.
Reid: One with each tray.
Morgan: So we're looking for a guy who really, really, hates spinach.
Reid: Who doesn't?

Elle: I really wanted to be a part of the team.
Hotchner: You were.
Elle: But when I needed the team, I was all alone. I was alone in the one place that I have the right to feel safe, and that's my home.