Criminal Minds

Jonny McHale: (voiceover) No one sees True Night - what's really there in the dark. It's not that they can't see, they simply don't. They feel an elemental force that scares them into the deepest reaches of their minds, but they refuse to see the actual source. Something watching them just out of their reach. Something cold and frightening. Something inhuman.

Garcia: Hey, do you know who Frank Miller is?
Morgan: Frank Miller, ummm, sounds familiar. Unsub?
Garcia: Nope. Graphic novelist? 300? Sin City?
Morgan: Oh, right right right. Cool movies.
Garcia: Anyway, he said something once and it makes me think of you. "The noir hero is a knight in blood-caked armor. He's dirty and he does his best to deny the fact that he's a hero the whole time."

Morgan: (on the phone with Garcia) Just leave it alone until I get there. Hey, hey, hardhead. Don't make me spank you when I get back.
Reid: Don't listen to him Garcia, he's all talk. (Morgan smacks Reid's head) Ow! JJ, he just hit me!
JJ: Boys, behave or I will ground you both.

Reid: Should have listened to me.
Morgan: It wouldn't have saved that much time, Reid, let it go.
Reid: The interchange between the 405 and the 101 freeways is consistently rated the worst interchange in the entire world.
Morgan: Why do you know that?
Reid: It's a government report.
Morgan: So what?
Reid: So you work for the government. What, you don't read the reports?
Morgan: On traffic patterns in a city 2,500 miles from where I live?
Reid: 2,295 miles.
Morgan: Don't make me smack you in front of all these people.

Morgan: No, listen, I'm gonna stick around for a while, I think you might need me.
Garcia: Stick around?
Morgan: Yeah, the team can handle one case without me. They'll be fine.
Garcia: Honey, I know you love me, but the prospect of you whirling around here trying to fix… this is actually more frightening than getting shot.

Reid: Did you know that a domestic cat loose in a normal neighborhood is the equivalent of a small scale ecological disaster?
Det. Brady: Excuse me?
Reid: They'll kill anything they can. Bugs, rodents, birds, other cats. Small dogs, if possible, anything.
Det. Brady: That got something to do with this?
Reid: An unsub in a violent psychotic break is worse.

Det. Brady: You really think this is only one guy, huh?
Reid: The level of overkill suggests an unsub in a psychotic break. Multiple unsubs in violent psychotic breaks operating in the exact same location is exceedingly unlikely. (Det. Brady has confused look on his face.)
Morgan: Yeah, it's probably one guy.

JJ: I couldn't imagine having nothing left of someone but a voice message. Think I'd never stop listening to it.

Reid: Sometimes, for an artist, the only difference between insanity and genius is success.

Jonny McHale: (to Bobby Kim) You think we work together? I'm the talent, you're the leech.