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NBC (ended 2014)
Because I just couldn't resist when I found this photo. Does any other image encapsulate the show so perfectly? John Malvkovich overacting, Richard Coyle gritting his teeth and getting down to work, Chris Perfetti wondering what the heck he's gotten himself into.

Oh well, have it at, me hearties!


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One, two, three...CRINGE
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Richard Coyle tracks down one of the hapless TV.com reviewers who didn't review their regular shows this week because of TCA and Comi-Con, and extracts sweet sweet revenge.
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Is it turn countclockwise to open, or clockwise? I always get those two confused...
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When I say the test is over, John, immediately put down your #2 pencil.
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Ha ha - its made of rubber you fool - yah... got yah...
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A dyslexic doctor attempts a spinal tap.
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Ahead of his time, Tom Lowe invents hair plugs in the 1700's
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This is what you get for making "Jonah Hex"
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I'm telling you I'm positive there's champagne in here. Let me just pop this cork

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That's the last time I use CraigsList to find a brain surgeon
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"Is it safe?"
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"Don't worry, in a minute you won't notice how bad this is, anymore."
or perhaps,
"This might sting a little."
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"and if I turn thus (!) then the stick will break and wine will come out your mouth!"
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We shall serve no Malkovich before its time.
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Dear Mom and Dad;

Guess what I did on summer vacation! I went to Puerto Rico and got to create a TV show for some American guys when they threw a huge pile of money at me. And I signed up John Malkovich to do it after Hugh Laurie said something about "huge pile of sh*t." And I wrote one episode and a script outline, then hung out on the beach and drank margueritas for nine weeks, and worked on my suntan. And I came back and you wouldn't believe what my wacky writers did with that outline! There was head-boring and bisexual pirates and naked women. Kewl! Then I write one more episode to wrap up the whole thing up, then I came back to England and am hard at work on another season of Luther.

Your son:

Neil Cross

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P.S. Here's a postcard from the set. John would send his love, but he's "tied up." Tee-hee.
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Now remember, John, the safe word is "banana."
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Coyle has enough of Malvkoch's endless Being John Malkovich's set stories and decides to show him how to really get inside his head.
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"There is no escape Malkovich!!!....You will finish this season"
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John thinking: Neil Cross created this show, and he created Luther. He wouldn't steer me wrong. Right?

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The game of Trouble! Pop-O-Matic Pirate pops the dice.
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