Shirley: This place was a gold mine. That man, he walked away with 250,000 dollars. All I got... (hands Henry a postcard that reads 'Florida' on the front) was a postcard. Just to rub my face in it.
Henry (reading the postcard): "Shirley, by the time you read this, I'll be sippin' pina coladas, on an island somewheres far away with the new love of my life who is much younger than you. Don't come lookin' for me 'cause I'm all gone. Good-bye, Harry.
Shirley: Have you ever heard somethin' so mean in all your life? (sniffles)
Henry: No, ma'am.
Shirley: You're real cute, you know that? ... Now, What'd you say y'all come out here for again?
Henry: It's my birthday!
(Shirley squees happily and climbs on Henry's lap)
Shirley: Why don't you come over here and give your Auntie Shirley some sugar?
Henry: (laughs uncomfortably and starts to lean away) Uh, no, I can't, I'm engaged. I'm married, actually. I have syphilis!
Shirley: Perfect. Me too.
Henry: (muffled) Help!