CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Brass: Single boy's the only smart one.

(On the phone) Tina: Hey, baby. Warrick: What's up? Tina: Nothin' much. Warrick: Where you at? Tina: I'm at the Venetian getting a manicure. I hope you're in for a good back scratching session tonight. Warrick: Who you talkin' 'bout? Tina: What? Warrick: Me or the guy standing next to you? See that little dome above your head? Give it a wave. I'm in the surveillance room watching you lie to me. Tina: Warrick. Warrick: Hey, maybe I'm gonna have to call that show Cheaters. Tina: Do you even know what you're talkin' about? Warrick: Don't even bother comin' home tonight. I'll just text you the number of what storage bin your stuff will be in. Tina: Do you wanna know what's up, huh? What's really up? Warrick: I can see what's up. Tina: You can't see a damn thing. He's a VIP host helping me plan your birthday party. I hope you enjoy spending it alone. (hangs up and glares at the surveillance camera)

(Interrogating Sally, the prostitute) Sally: I'd let you take me to Hawaii. Nick (smiles): Nah, I'm workin'. Sally: So am I.

Sara: And grass, not the kind you smoke on the floor in the closet. But all the shoes in the closet were clean. Warrick: So someone was walking around in here with grass on their shoes? (Sara nods in agreement) Maybe it was the missing husband... or a desperate gardener. Sara: Who was mowing more than the lawn.

Doc Robbins: Gil... have you ever been even close to getting married? Grissom: Once... when I was younger. Her name was Nicole Daley. I asked her to marry me. We were classmates. She liked bugs too. I gave her my grandmother's ring, but my mother made me get it back. (Doc Robbins nods) Second grade.

Wendy (about the fridge in Grissom's office): You got anything else in there? Bottle of tequila? Severed human head? Grissom: I don't keep tequila.

Nick (to Warrick): So I hear your marriage is on the rocks and you're shoppin' for hookers. (Warrick laughs) Warrick: No, but I think I found what Mr. Cutler likes. (holds up flyer) Thumb print on the front, four finger prints on the back. Nick (reading flyer): "Sally, sweet apple pie." Hmm. Do you really think it's a good idea to sleep with a woman who advertises in a flyer? Warrick: Well, I don't really think there's any sleeping involved. Don't be shy, give her a call. (they smile) Nick: Alright. For your enjoyment. (Nick dials the number and clears his throat and Warrick gives him a look) Sally (over the phone): Hi, this is Sally, who is this? Nick: Hi, this is Dirk Diggler. (Warrick laughs) I'm lookin' for a date. Sally: What kinda date? Nick: I'm taking a trip around the world, you wanna go? (Warrick makes a face) Sally: Sure. Can you afford the airfare, darlin'? Nick: Is 2 G's enough? (Warrick makes a face again) Sally: Where you at? Nick (smiles at Warrick): 3057 Westfall. (Warrick points "here" and Nick waves him off) It's right off of Charleston. It's a single level building. All the way in the back. Sally: What do you look like? Nick: Umm... I've got a little Tom Cruise thing goin'. (Warrick tries to hold his laughter)

Warrick: What are you thinkin'? Grissom: That you married people take things too personally.