CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Hodges (after he finds the murder weapon in the garbage): Ah-ha! Touchdown! Wendy (sighs): Nicely done. Hodges: You know I'm not a CSI... by choice. Wendy (continues searching the garbage and finds more evidence): Hey, Hodges? (holds up a shoe with blood on it) That's probably for the best.

Brass: You know what this is? Pal; Looks like a finger print. Brass: Yeah, yours. Found on your .38 caliber Smith and Wesson, found in your car with a dead hooker. Pal: Sounds like you're accusing me of something. Brass: I'm not accusing you of anything. I'm charging you with vechicular manslaughter and negligent homicide. Pal: Well, why don't you charge me with the JFK assassination while you're at it? Brass: Nah, I'll let you slide on that one. But I could add in first degree murder of Coach Miller. Pal: Now, that's not funny. Brass: I lose my sense of humor when it comes to murder.

Ray: I need a couple of volunteers. Wendy: Okay, I'm in. (she looks towards Hodges who doesn't say anything. Hodges shakes his head) He would love to. Ray: Thanks. Hodges: Can I at least hear what I'm volunteering for, considering I've just been drafted. Ray: Campus police always circled Coach Miller's house, they would've noticed a parked car. I'm thinking the killer approached on foot. Wendy: And since the killer was most likely associated with the university, that means that he would've walked back to his place on campus-- Hodges: Ditching the murder weapon and blood evidence along the way. It's all very Mission Impossible. Wendy: What are you talking about? It's a great theory. (to Ray) It's a great theory. Ray: Thank you. Can we go? Hodges: I'm eating. Ray: There's plenty of food where we're going.

Nick: Did you ever play football? Ray: Yes. You know, the real football... (makes soccer motions) ... with your feet. Nick: Soccer. Ray: Well, I never called it that. I was born in Seoul, South Korea. And my dad was career military man, I grew up in bases all around the world and we just called it football. What about you? Nick: I'm from Austin. I grew up playing football.

Pal: I don't like to get my boys in trouble. Brass: Oh, someone's already in trouble. It was your car, your party. Pal: I don't like your attitude. Brass: Yeah, I get that a lot.

Ray: Where's Archie? Hodges: He's at a technical conference in Sioux City, Iowa. How can I help 'ya?

Nick: Hey, Sara. (sees the body that has been decomp'ed by water) Eww. How's it goin'? Sara: I'm kinda underwater on this one. Nick: Yeah, it looks like it. Sara: Have fun on campus.

Julian: Captain, do you know how much the university pays campus security? Brass: Well, I know prison inmates make 15 cents an hour. Is it less than that?

Catherine: Sometimes the cover-up leaves behind more evidence.

Catherine: That's a lot of computing power for a football coach. Ray: It's a complex game, two teams, 11 players each play crafted with multiple levels of redundancy and yet most academics and intellectuals prefer baseball. I suppose it's for the poetry. Catherine: I just like to watch the guy's hit each other and I like their butts.

Doc Robbins: C'mon, you're not gonna ask me about the zombie thing? Nick: Well, you're obviously eager to tell me. Doc Robbins: Well, damage was predominantly on the right side of the brain to the neo-cortex which controls thought, language and reason. It was almost completely destroyed. But the paleo-cortex which lies beneath it remained intact. The paleo-cotrex controls learned instinct and rituals. Which explains why the victim was able to brush his teeth and eat his breakfast without noticing that he was bleeding. Nick: They never seem to get that right in zombie movies.

Doc Robbins: Coach was struck at least a dozen times. Nick: A lot of rage here. Doc Robbins: Agreed. The multiple impacts crushed his skull and drove bone fragments into his brain, causing catastrophic hemorrhaging. It's like when you push your finger into a hard-boiled egg. The shell cracks but the pieces stay in place. Nick: Thanks for ruining another breakfast for me. Doc Robbins: It's what I do.

Sara (to Greg as the crane is pulling a car out of the water): Did you find Nemo? Greg: Not unless Nemo was a Beem-O.