CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Season 6 Episode 1

Sofia: Your broadcast was for a blue Pontiac. Patrol figured this was worth a look.
Grissom: How bad does a smell have to get before Parking Control calls Homicide?
Sara: No way this car was at the trailer park. Think we've got a new case. First citation was issued five days ago. Car's probably been here at least six. (Sofia pops the trunk. Inside are the liquefied remains of two bodies) Six days in the summer heat.
Grissom: And a trunk becomes a crockpot.

Wilcox: How you doing, Nick?
Nick (smiling): Above ground, Wilcox.

Catherine: Why's there a ring on your ring finger?
Warrick (pause): Because I'm married.
Catherine (looks disappointed): What?
Vartann: Congratulations. How much did you pay her? (Warrick laughs) No, seriously good luck with that man. I didn't even know you had a girlfriend.
Warrick: Oh, yeah it's a girl I've been datin' a couple months, Tina.
Catherine: How long you been married?
Warrick: Since yesterday. We did this drive thru wedding at Circus-Circus where you know. Fun, yeah, we, uh...fun time.
David (walking up): Hey, sorry I'm late. Busy night.
Warrick: We need a T.O.D David.
David: Rigor is barely set so not long, under four hours.
Catherine (coolly): About as long as Warrick's been married.

Warrick: Catherine, can we talk...about this? (he holds up his hand, with his wedding ring on it)
Catherine: Sure.
Warrick: You know what happened to Nick just got me thinking... life is so short. You know, it's almost-- it's almost shorter than we want to ever believe.
Catherine: Live for the day.
Warrick: Exactly. So...I, uh, went ahead and I asked this young lady that I've been seeing, Tina, to marry me.
Catherine (smiles): Well, you know that I'm happy for you.
Warrick: Yeah?
Catherine: Yeah.
Warrick: Well, it also feels like you're not so happy for me.
Catherine: Warrick.. (laughs) you know, the thing that makes a fantasy great is the possibility that it might come true. And when you lose that possibility it just, kinda, sucks.

Grissom: Detective Curtis.
Sofia (smiles): Grissom.
Grissom: I thought you were supposed to be arresting people in Boulder City?
Sofia: Yeah, well a spot opened up here and I transferred in today.
Brass: Surprise. (walks away)
Grissom: Well, your mother would be proud.
Sofia: My mother made Captain. You know...I just qualified for my shield when the sheriff pulled my papers and volunteered me to CSI. I think my Mom hated that more than I did.
Grissom: You won't miss the lab, will ya?
Sofia: There are some things I'll miss.

Brass: Let me tell you my story. Once upon a time, you follow your husband to a trailer park. You see him slumming with his little trailer bunny. You waited for him to come out...(Flashback to, trailer door opens, Robert Durgee steps out. Amber sits him her car watching him. He lights his cigarette, suddenly car lights glare at him and tires screech as the car surges toward him) When she pulls the body back in, before she can call for help, you torch the place. Kaboom. The end.
Amber Durgee: That's the craziest thing I've ever heard
Brass (laughs): Wouldn't even make my top ten.

Nick: Does she cook? Is she a good cook? (Grissom walks by) Hey, Grissom, I'm taking Warrick to the Peppermill to celebrate his marriage and to condemn his elopement. You in?
Grissom: Did you invite your wife?
Warrick: I don't think I'm ready to subject her to the crew just yet.

Sara: Candy.
Hodges: Gummy candy. (Greg walks away) I'm partial to Jujubes myself. Is it something I said?
Sara: Probably.

(About the "stripper" bus)
Bus Driver: We call it the champagne ride.
Vartann: Nice. So what do the girls get paid for this?
Bus Driver: The girls, they make uh...at least twice as much as they do in the clubs so...
Catherine: Depending on what else they ride. (shows Warrick searching the bus, then back) It's a pretty sweet deal for the guys. Hot chicks getting trashed with nowhere to go. And what happens when the girls wanna get off?
Bus Driver: Usually it's the guy's that are getting off.

Warrick: So Vartann and I struck out on G-string row.
Catherine: You poor guys.

Officer Metcalf: My money's on meth lab.
Sara: You know, Metcalf, just because somebody lives in a trailer park doesn't mean they're a meth cook.
Officer Metcalf: You guys are a real pain in the ass, you know that?
Grissom: Get used to it, pal.

Greg: That's not frosting...
Sara: I always like the middle part the best.

Greg (to Sara): And the student becomes the master!

Sara (to Sofia): You're the detective, go detect.

Hodges (to Grissom): You got a real thing for blue paint.

Nick: Flying car...that's what we're going with?

(After Greg is spattered in the mouth with the human broth found in the car trunk)
Sara: Technically this makes you a cannibal. Grissom would be proud.
Greg: Grissom would have tasted it on purpose.

(Catherine's phone rings)
Catherine: Yeah?
Grissom: Catherine, we have a 419 off Industrial. Would you like to handle it?
Catherine: So, you get the team back together only to break us apart again. What kind of perverse game are you playing here, Gil?
Grissom: I'm not a pervert.
Catherine (not enthused): Yeah, I'll cover it. I'm taking Warrick.