CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

(Grissom walks toward the door after the cat and opens it) Catherine: Where are you going? Grissom: Following the evidence.

Nick: You know, when I was 16, I begged my mom for a car. Swore she'd come through. Sara: What happened? Nick: Encyclopedia Britannica. (laughs) All 24 volumes. Still own them, still use them.

Nick: Hey. Sara: Hey! Nick: Wow. You look... Sara: Happy? Nick: Smug. Actually.

Nick: The latch has been blown apart. Which means the hood was down when the bomb was detonated. Sara: How is that possible? The mechanic saw the bomb. Nick: X-ray vision? (laughs) Sara: Okay, maybe he took one look at it, and he slammed the hood. Nick: Sara, if you found a bomb in your car would you close the hood? Sara: No, I would back away fast. Um... maybe the hood dropped? Nick: No way. BMW has built-in hood shocks. Sara: Liar, liar, car on fire.

Nick: Hmm... hello, sweetheart. Sara: End cap. Nick: Pipe bomb.

Doc Robbins: Glad I'm a dog person. Grissom: You know, house cats have only been domesticated for 4,000 years. They still have predatory instincts. Catherine: Only 4,000? Grissom: Yeah.

Grissom: One thing about my mother even though she was deaf, she was always the boss.

Catherine: I didn't think anything could mask the smell of a decomp. Grissom: Male cat urine. To female cats it must smell like aftershave. Catherine: Meow.

Nick: Thanks Greg, what'd I win?

Warrick: Eau de cat... (Catherine makes a shoe print of the shoe) Catherine: Eau de match!

(Catherine and Grissom enter and see Greg wearing a latex glove blown up on his head, a paper mask with lips and teeth on the front, and plastic glasses. He's playing air drums to the extremely loud pulsating music with a test tube grasped in each hand as drumsticks while wearing thick black rubber gloves) Greg: I could have been a rock star. Grissom: There's still time, Greg. Tell us about the foreign substance we found in the vic's wound track. Greg: Uh, well, I like to rub it all over a lady's body. Even better ... I, uh ... like it when she rubs it all over me. And it's also used as a stool softener. Catherine: It's also the only open lead in our case. Spit it out, Greg. Greg: Mineral oil. Grissom: Possibly used as a preservative to prevent rusting of high-carbon steel. Catherine: Like the blades of knives. Greg: Old knives. New ones are made from stainless steel. Yeah, I'm like a sponge. I'm like a sponge, I just absorb information. Grissom: I thought that was my line. Greg: Yeah. And I absorbed it. Catherine: Okay, so ... knives, screwdriver, ice pick, letter opener. We're looking for a weapon with a splash of mineral oil. I'll grab the A.L.S. Greg: An A.L.S. For mineral oil? Grissom: Mineral oil fluoresces at 525 nanometers when filtered through a kv590. A little more absorbing ... a little less rock and roll.