CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Brass: I mean, I don't want to make this about me, but I need to know my office is not responsible. Doc Robbins: Did you hit her over the head?

Warrick: What is this Grissom? Romeo and Juliet. Grissom: Post-Mortem photography. Memento Mori. In the nineteenth century the photo of the dead loved one was a popular keepsake. Death remembered. One last look.

Grissom: Men are never as mysterious as women wish they were.

Sara: You rang? Archie: Yes, found the owner of that cell phone. Sara: Megan. Archie: Nope. Sheila Latham. Sara: What is Megan's best friend's cell phone doing in the front seat of her boyfriend's van? Archie (singing): If that's your boyfriend, if that's your boyfriend... Sara and Archie: He wasn't last night.

Catherine (on seeing the crabs on the sleeping bag): Ugh. Grissom: You okay? (Catherine turns the monitor so that he can see the crabs) Pthirus Pubis. Catherine: Yeah, crabs. I am buying Lindsey a chastity belt. Grissom: There's a... hole in the metal to let the urine pass, so theoretically she could still get them. Catherine: You are so creepy sometimes.

Greg: Wish I had one of these back in high school. Nick: What's that, a letter jacket? Greg: No. No, a love shack. Back seat of my car got real old, real fast. I was getting so much play my senior year, I seriously considered getting a hearse. Nick: Well, I never accused you of not being smart Greg. A little weird but... a hearse?

Grissom: Hey Nick? Nick: Yeah. Grissom: This looks like arterial spray. Something bad happened here.

(phone conversation) Brass: The last place the kids were seen was in the parking lot of the school after the game. Grissom: These two kids have only been missing for fourteen hours. They could have eloped to Mexico. Brass: I know it's a favor, but... Grissom: All right, but you owe me one for getting me out of bed on a Saturday morning.

Grissom (voiceover): Primitive people refused to be photographed, fearing the camera would steal their soul. Like any good hunter, the photographer stalks, takes aim, and shoots an image. Who's to say that when a shutter traps that moment in time, those primitive fears weren't well founded.

Brass: Now, I remember why I don't like modern art.

Greg: Sheila. Archie: And... Some dude. Nick: Some dude named Charlie.

Sara: Something tells me pink is not Ryan's color. Warrick: I dunno, I think he might be always (holds up a girl's pink underwear) thinking pink.

Nick: So, what's with the ropes, Casanova? Greg: Well, I'd say that what started as a good time went bad.

Warrick: If these panties all belong to one girl, she's got nothing left to wear.

Sara: You know, when I was in college, I had this boyfriend -- and I thought we were monogamous. Then one night during the post-coital panty search, he handed a pair of underwear that wasn't mine. Warrick: Ooh! How'd he explain that one? Sara: He said they belonged to his sister... Warrick: Yeah, right ... Let's hope your taste in men has improved. Sara: Yeah...

Sara (about to shave Grissom's face): Do you trust me? Grissom: Intimately. (they wink at each other)

Sara: High school student with a van...I'll bet half the senior class is in here.

Warrick: What's a photography teacher doing touching a student's van? Grissom (mock seriously): Maybe she wanted a ride.

Doc Robbins: And she had crabs. Grissom: Well, I know where she got them from. Or gave them to.

Nick: And how does your theory account for the fact that all the blood's Ryan's? Greg: It...doesn't.

Hodges (to Grissom): I'd know those footsteps anywhere.