CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Catherine: Do you have any relatives? Amy: Not anymore. Catherine: I've got a daughter. She's almost your age. Amy (coldy): Maybe we should hang out.

Catherine: The staff told me that you already went through the SAE kit. Amy: They tell you I'm all banged up inside? Catherine: Not in those words.

Ronnie: Cops must've picked him up before he died. Sara: Maybe that's not all they did. Ronnie: Well, it was just a guess. Sara: What's the first thing that police do when they question a suspect? Ronnie: Check for I.D. Standard procedure. Sara: Eddie Kaye's only identification was an expired driver's license found separated from all of his other possessions. Print it. Ronnie: What? You're not seriously gonna go after the cops after something like this? Sara: You know, that question I will answer. We're not here to protect anyone, Ronnie. Not even the cops. We're here to figure out what happened. If you can't do that, you should get a different job.

Warrick (while searching Rhode's apartment): You know, if I had to gage him by his apartment. I'd have to say that Alister Rhodes is just a regular guy. Nick: Yeah, I'm sure that's what he wants everyone to think too.

Ronnie: When I graduated, I got offers from both the labs in New York and Miami. Know why I picked Vegas? Sara: I know that you have nine questions left. Ronnie: Crime rate's growing faster here.

Brass: You ever been to the Rachno's Central Motel? Rev. Rhodes: Plenty of times. Hookers, addicts, drug dealers, pimps, wife beaters, runaways. I save people. Brass: (shows him a picture) You ever save these two? (Rhodes stares at the picture, a little taken aback) You know them, don't you? Rev. Rhodes: There's nothin' I can tell you. Brass: These people have a daughter and she's missing. And due to the fact that you're a convicted sex offender, you better come up with something more than these corny, priestly homilies, and you better come up with them fast. Rev. Rhodes: I don't have to answer to you. I want to talk to my lawyer. Brass: That's a good idea. Because you're under arrest.

Nick (shines light on what looks like a pile of intestines): Ah, man what the hell is that? Warrick: It looks like Balut. It's a Filipino delicacy. My grandmother's best friend was from Manila. Nick: I bet it tastes like chicken.

Mandy: So, I got hit off the 'Do Not Disturb' sign. (hands her paper) Catherine: Drug dealer with priors for assault. Nice. Mandy: Well, don't get too excited because I got another hit off of the telephone. Pedophile. (hands her another paper) And I got one off of the dresser, a rapist. (hands her another paper) And one off of the bed frame, a prositute, a pimp, and another prostitute. (hands her more papers) Catherine: Is that it? Mandy: For felonies, yes. Do you want misdemeanors too?

Guy (about the victims): They paid for the week, cash in advance, signed 'em in myself. Brass: We got a problem. Guy: What's the problem? Brass: Your handwriting sucks.

Grissom: We have one too many Bibles. Catherine: I don't think they helped.

Ronnie: Do you ever wonder why ants don't crawl up the nose and eat the brain? I would, protein. Sara: Ants are scavengers, they tend to stay on the surface. Ronnie: Do ants think dead skin tastes better than brains? Sara: Well, they will go for brains late in decomp. Ronnie: Do ants have tastebuds? Sara: Ronnie, I'm gonna have to limit you to twenty questions per case. Ronnie: Really? Sara: Nineteen.

Rev. Rhodes: Mr. Grissom...do you believe in a separate, living evil? Grissom: You're primitive man on the savannah. You see something move out of the corner of your eye. You assume it's a hyena. You run, you live. If you assume it's the wind and you're wrong, you die. We have the genes of the ones who ran. We're genetically hard-wired to believe living forces that we cannot see. Rev. Rhodes: The Devil's sliest trick is making us believe he isn't real. But call his name loud and long enough, (knocks on the table four times) guess who comes knockin' on your door? Brass: Usually guys like you.

Sara: Hey. Grissom: Hey. Bee frame. Inside I got the queen, the workers, the whole colony. Sara: You're looting the crime scene of its bees. Grissom: I cleared it with animal control. This colony is healthy. I needed to study colony collapse disorder. Bees are dying in record numbers everywhere. Sara: You know, I did read that if every bee on earth died, the human race will follow four years later. Grissom: There's no hard evidence to support that. Sara: Oh. Grissom: But the world will end. Someday.

Greg: How have you been? Sara: I've seen better days. You missin' me yet? Greg: A little more everyday.

Rev. Rhodes: My partner is the Lord. Brass: Well, I'm sure it's not his DNA on those sheets.

Warrick: That's the third time the power's gone out. Nick: Fourth actually, if i didn't know any better, I'd say the city's trying to get rid of us-- that's a hundred dollar fine right there. (motions towards the sprinkler going off)

Brass: So, enjoying the sunshine? Sara: Not really.

Grissom: Did you two see the Fitzgerald's thermometer on your way in? Warrick: Oh yeah, 109. Hot as hell. Catherine: Anything below 110 degrees is manageable. Above that, crime wave always goes up. (they hear sirens outside the room) Grissom: Sounds like it's getting hotter.