CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Doctor: She's the kind of girl we like to call a bed pan. Nick: A bed pan? Doctor: Yeah, full of crap and best when dumped.

Wendy: I have bad news and weird news. Which would you like to hear first? Catherine: Bad. Wendy: Bad news, I got nothin' from the blue stocking that was found in trash. Weird news, I tested the red lipstick that was found on the Gary Sinclair's collar, and I got DNA but it wasn't his wife's. Catherine: Well, based on the contents of her purse she's more of the lip balm type. Wendy: Well, you know I like to be through. I ran it through CODIS and I actually got a hit, Natal Peled. She's in the system for a rape charge in L.A. Catherine: They don't put victim's DNA in the database. Wendy (smirks): No, they don't. (Catherine looks intrigued) Yeah, I had to know so I called a friend of mine from the L.A Sheriff's department. And apparently Natal was a nurse from a Hollywood hospital and she went to the annual Christmas party she fed this doctor a buncha cocktails, (Catherine looks shocked and starts to smile) slipped him a Provalis and then took him to a hotel room. Rumor has it was to have unprotected, (smiles) you know, baby-makin' sex. He pressed charges, she was arrested and then they settled out of court. And now Natal's a nurse at our very own Desert Palm. Catherine: With Amanda's husband-- Dr. Gary Sinclair.

Catherine: Our two cases have become one. Grissom: Could still be two cases. Catherine (smirks): Whatever happened to Mr. No-Such-Thing-As-Coincidence? "The simplest hypothesis is usually the correct one." "If you hear hooves think horses, not zebras." Grissom: What would the horses be in this case? Catherine: Murder/suicide. Jill killed Amanda, and then felt guilty and killed herself. Grissom: And what've you got to support that? Catherine: Did you notice any photos of Amanda or Amanda's family at Jill's house? Grissom: No. Catherine: Right. And I looked through Amanda's phone book and Jill was not even in it. Grissom: Well, maybe she had her number memorized. Catherine: Brass spoke to Jill's attorney for next of kin... nonexistent. She's leaving a small fortune to various charities. Sounds to me like estrangement. (Grissom makes a face) Okay, even if that wasn't the exact way that it went down I'll bet you a dollar that the twins deaths are related. Grissom: Two women found dead on opposite sides of town, if they didn't look alike would you still link them? Catherine: If they're relatives, yes. Sisters, husband and wife, father and son. Grissom: Okay. Catherine: Okay, what? Grissom: I'll take the bet.

Warrick: Boy, she hung out with some big wigs. Grissom: She was a big wig. Jill Case, Editor-in-Chief of the Las Vegas Globe, she was a wunderkind. One of the youngest women in history to run a newspaper. Brass: Well, I've been all around the house, no sign of a forced entry. Grissom: Consistent with suicide. Warrick (looking at suicide note): So is this. You can't even use a whole sheet of paper for your suicide note? Grissom: Well, I don't know. If you feel like you don't deserve to take up space on the planet, you don't deserve a whole piece of paper.

Catherine: Well, I got a phone, and keys but no purse. Nick: Mugging? Catherine: Take the purse but leave the Lexus? Nick: Yeah, that's not real savvy, is it?

(outside of a Dry Cleaners) Nick: Bad day if you can't even run a simple errand. Catherine: Everybody's got dirty laundry. Sometimes it gets 'ya killed.

Doc Robbins: DNA has been sent out but this is one case where I don't need to wait for results. Warrick: Identical twins? You've gotta be kidding. Catherine: They're even wearing the same toe nail polish. Doc Robbins: And both wore the same watch. Warrick: Oh, that's just too much. Catherine: Well, eight year-olds dressing alike, I kinda get. But grown women? That's weird. Doc Robbins: Well, some people like it. I'm a twin. Warrick: Really? Doc Robbins: Well, I was. My twin died in utero. My mother didn't tell me about it until I was an adult. When I decided to become a coroner, she blamed herself. She said it was because I had spent so many days living next to a dead body.

(Sara walks in, Grissom is reading a book) Sara: I heard the guys solved a double murder. Grissom: Mmhmm. Sara: I spent the day sitting on a bench outside the courtroom...They never got to me. Grissom: That sucks. Sara: Feeling transcendental? Grissom: Hmm? Sara: Thoreau? I uh... I haven't read him since college. Grissom: Me neither. It holds up. "I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion". (Sara smiles and looks down towards a crossword puzzle) Sara (amused): Oh, look. You missed one; 63 down. "Misanthrope". (Grissom and Sara stares at each other for a moment, before Sara flashes a flirtatious smile) I won't wait up. (Sara walks out, leaving Grissom to stare thoughtfully after her)

Nick: What about the husband? Catherine: Classic "he said, she said". They're either acting in cahoots, trying to confuse us or Natal is acting on her own thinking that the wife is the obstacle standing between them. Nick: Nothing quite says "I love you" like "I killed your wife so we can be together".

Hodges: I almost keyed a car once. Nick (pauses): You what? Hodges: I know, but in the end I couldn't go through with it. So I peed on the doorhandles instead. Nick (raises eyebrows, smiling): So they'd freeze and you can't get them open? Hodges: No, it was San Diego. Nick (confused): Over a girl? Hodges (shakes head): Over a "B". Professor gave me one on my term paper, I felt I deserved an "A". (Nick walks away)

Grissom (after Catherine tears a dollar in half): That's a federal offense you know.

Warrick: What would she have done if she didn't have a second story? Grissom: Every death has at least two stories.

Warrick (holds up a pair of fuzzy handcuffs): I found her naughty drawer. Greg: My favorite part of any bedroom search.

(Nick picks up a cigarette) Sofia: What have 'ya got? Nick: A smoking gun.