CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Nick: Two pieces of duct tape both have been swabbed for DNA and fingerprinted. Grissom wants you to compare adhesives, he's lookin' for a match. Hodges: Okay, that'll take a laser ablation test, it's good. (looks around) Nick: Why's that good? Hodges: Well, laser ablation is both visual and dramatic. (looks over Nick's shoulder) Nick: Are you looking for the video crew right now? Hodges (scoffs): I would think that they would be looking for me. Nick: Relax man, their show is only like an hour long, laser ablation takes like six. Hodges: Yeah, but when they cut it all together it'll only take 30 seconds. (Nick shakes his head, smiles, and walks away)

Sara: (she watches Hodges making sure his hair and everything is okay) Hey there, gorgeous. (smiles) I'm gonna be running with the trace from the victim's apartment, would you mind bringing me up to speed? Hodges: Certainly. (Hodges pauses and looks around) Sara: Take your time. (the camera crew come in) Cameraman: Did you page us? Hodges: Uh... (looks at Sara) Sara: (deadpanned) No, uh uh. Hodges: According to the gas-chromatograph mass-spectrometer the glossy red drop you found on the foot board was nail polish. Sara: Well, that's not unusual in a woman's apartment. Hodges: What is far more intriguing is the reflective yellow flakes. Follow me to the Fourier Transform Infrared microscope. Sara: Hodges, what's wrong with you?

Cameraman: Do you think forensic shows are just teaching the criminals how to get away with crimes? Grissom: Everyone learns from science. It all depends on how you use the knowledge.

Catherine (to camera crew): Well one thing you learn during this job is that bad things happen to people who don't expect it... everyday.

Greg: I've got hundreds of names of people who purchased nitrous oxide in the last six months. Catherine: Well, you gotta narrow that down. Greg: That is narrowed down.

Sara: Anything useful from the janitor? Greg: Yeah, he gave us a full description, he said he looked like a fireman. (Sara gives him a look)

Grissom: Foot fetish is a visual pathology. The suspect would have had to have been close enough to the vic to see her toes and then get aroused. Catherine: We live in a desert, Gil. If you wanna see a women's bare feet all you have to do is look down.

Catherine: Low-profile entry, sedatives, duct tape, and if he's not a serial he will be soon.

Nick (to the camera crew): We don't like it when the bad guy walks.

Cameraman: Ms. Willows, all you have is the guy's face, how do you figure out who he is? Catherine: Good question.

(Walking by the AV lab to see the camera crew in there) Hodges (scoffs): Now that's a waste of film.

(Processing the victim's house) Catherine: Flowers and candles sure seems like a date. Grissom: Some date.

Cameraman: You were a CSI, right? Sofia: Yeah. Cameraman: But now you're a detective. So, which side of the fence to you prefer? Sofia: It's the same side.

Sofia: You try something like that and you're gone; I don't give a damn what the Sheriff says. Cameraman: We don't put anyone on the screen without a signed release. Sofia: You invaded her privacy at her most vulnerable moment. Cameraman: I'm trying to give the crime a face. Sofia: Yeah, well, we're going to lose an hour waiting for her to calm down. That's on you.

Brass: Hey, check this out. (points to pictures of feet) God bless the internet.

Greg: So they have nothing in common? Grissom: Sure they both have feet.

Cameraman: Mr. Grissom can you please describe what you are seeing? Grissom: A long night.

Brass: We got a confession, "He didn't choose womens' feet, they chose him."

Richard McQueen: She wouldn't let me touch her feet.

Cameraman: Ever hear the saying "only the dumb ones get caught?" Greg: Yeah, but we catch the smart ones too.

Archie: What kind of fireman goes to the fire 22 minutes before the fire happens? Grissom: Somebody that knows it's going to happen. Cameraman: Sorry about that Grissom, we may not have gotten that. Can you repeat that?

Brass: What'd he blow? Sofia: 1.9. Brass: Wow, that's almost enough to wash away your sins. Sofia: Yeah, we're gonna have to wait until he sobers up. Brass: Now now, wait, let's move on this---look why don't you come in there with me? Maybe pop a few buttons. (Sofia laughs) Seriously, see how he reacts. Sofia: He tries to hard not to look it may be a guilty conscience? (she makes a face) Brass: Yeah, maybe something like that.

Grissom: What is this? Cameraman: It's a reality crime show, we are following you for this investigation. Sheriff promised full cooperation. Catherine (to Grissom): Ah, we got that memo. They're Hard Crime. Cameraman: That's us, we put the people who look into the microscopes under the microscope. Catherine (to Grissom): Right. It's good PR for the department, try not to bust their chops, okay? Cameraman: Did you ever see our show? It's got a lot of forensics. Grissom: There's too many forensics shows on TV.