CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Hodges: Doc told me to tell you, your last vic, the one all pretzel-ed up in the oven, lividity's fixed, dead two days. Grissom: Before the Cadillac was found. Hodges: Ah, and I got trace analysis on the sample Phillips collected on Chicken Johnny. Grissom: And? Hodges: Alginate and Plaster of Paris, a combination used to make dental impressions. And... you don't even seem to be the teeniest bit surprised. Grissom: I'm not.

(Mickey Dunn is waking up in the hospital) Catherine: Let me give you a hint: You're not in heaven.

Catherine: Thank god I blew you off when I didn't know any better. (starts walking away) Mickey: Sam Braun's daughter. (Catherine turns towards him) You think I would ever forget a face? That face? Ask yourself what force on Earth would've kept me from your soft, teenage graces. Only one, Daddy. Catherine: Sam Braun stopped you? Mickey: Sam always said that if I ever touched you, he'd tear me apart. That took a big pair to say that to me, he said that you were family. Still, now he's gone. We could always give it a go. Catherine: You're not going anywhere.

Catherine: Chainsaw. Sound familar? Mickey: You get to be my age all kinds of things ring a bell. Brass: (showing him a picture of the 'ghostrider' Eddie Sanchez) What about him? Any chimes? Mickey: That's a good lookin' boy. But as the poet said: (taking off his beard) "It ain't me, baby." Catherine: Mickey Dunn. Mickey: Back from the dead.

Grissom: Our Mexican Fisherman signed his television release form "F. Krueger." Catherine: Freddy Krueger. Nightmare on Elm Street. Archie: The karoke singer was Michael Myers. Halloween. Catherine: Parts 1-9. Archie: Yeah, but our hotel killer was Pamela Voorhees. Catherine: Friday the 13th? Archie: No, that's Jason. Wait, Jason was the sequel, Pamela was the killer in the original. That's the question that tripped up Drew Barrymore in Scream. Catherine: Yeah, and look how far it got her. Archie: You watch slasher flicks? Catherine: With Lindsey, I do. They never get the spatter right. Grissom: All I know, the master of all scary movies was Lon Chaney Sr., the man of a thousand faces, and that's what we're looking for.

Warrick (looking at a bullet): Lead .38 brown nose. I like it. It's kinda 70's. Catherine: You were a kid in the 70's. Warrick: Yeah, but I was Vegas kid so I grew up knowing all the stories. Like the 'ghostrider' story. You ever hear of that one? Catherine (laughs): No. Warrick: You've never heard of the 'ghostrider' story? (Catherine shakes her head) That has everything to do with Mickey Dunn. August 12th, 1976. Officer...Eddie Sanchez, was the real life radio cop who radios in the last known sighting of Mickey Dunn's funky gold Cadillac. Catherine: Is this on record? Warrick: Stuff's layin' in a police file somewhere. Know what happened to the cop? (Catherine shakes her head) No one does. Officer Sanchez and his motorcycle disappeared that night. Catherine: What in a puff of smoke? Warrick: In a puff of smoke, never to be heard from again. Legend has it that you can still hear the 'ghostrider' gunning it up and down that highway. My grandmother tried to scare me into good behavior with that one. Catherine: Did it work? Warrick: Not when I was six, no. But .38 lead, brown nose bullet is what Nevada Highway Patrol used back in the day and I don't need to tell you that there were a lotta dirty cops back then. Catherine: There was a lotta dirty everything back then. Warrick: Think about this: You're a motorcycle cop and you pull over a speeding gold Cadillac, sittin' in the driver's seat was Mickey Dunn-- Catherine: --skippin' town with a lotta cash. Warrick: Bang. You put a cap in Mickey Dunn. Catherine: So you think that this motorcycle cop killed him? Warrick: I'd like to find that police file. (pauses) What? You got a better story? Catherine: I was 16, Jaws was sold out. So I went looking for trouble. Found Mickey Dunn. (shows a flashback of a young Catherine in a casino and Mickey Dunn catches her eye, he walks over to her and whispers in her ear) All he said was: "If I met him outside at 2am sharp, he'd show me the time of my life." Warrick (smiling): No way, you and Mickey Dunn? Catherine: Well, I showed.. .and he didn't. Warrick: You were 16, hot and ready and he stood you up? Catherine: All I know is that, I dodged a bullet... and he didn't.

(After Mickey Dunn's car was pulled out of a lake) Greg: Mickey Dunn's ride, I bet it looked better in the 70's. Catherine: Live fast, die young. Doubt he left a good looking corpse. (Catherine opens the car door and water and sewage and stuff comes out) Greg: Look at this: 30 years of toxins and pesticides, heavy metal and maybe some decomp. Catherine: A real piece of Vegas history right here. Greg: You know, in Kicks and Kisses Lois O'Neill wrote a whole chapter about Mickey Dunn. Catherine: What? That he was a thrill in the sack? Greg: No. No, that was Tony Constantine. Apparently Mickey wanted to go down in a barrage of bullets like Sonny in The Godfather. Catherine: Yeah, quite the ego on that guy. Even in death he was larger than life. Greg: Well, sure, but all the original mobsters were like that. Tony, Mickey, Sam Braun... Catherine: My father was not a mob guy. Greg: Well, I wasn't comparing them, just speaking of the dead. (Catherine finds a skull that has a bullet hole in it, in the passenger seat) Well, I guess we know how Dunn done died.

Catherine: You ready for this? Warrick: Ready to waste my morning on another Mickey Dunn sighting? Yeah, right. Catherine: Yeah. That guys been spotted in more places than Elvis. Warrick: Mickey Dunn and his pal Jimmy Hoffa are in hell somewhere laughing their asses off.

Brass: At least the driver was sober, I can't say the same about the boatload of high school kids he was driving around. Listen to some of the wonderful statements I got... We go "urrrr" dude goes "arrrghh" we go "bam!" dude goes "waaaah!"

(Catherine sits down next to Mickey Dunn's hospital bed and smiles at him) Catherine: You like horror movies Mickey? Mickey: Yeah... I love 'em Catherine: I got one for 'ya. Mickey (grins): Has it got a monster in it? Catherine (laughs and a flashback starts of what went down when Mickey Dunn got shot as she narrates): Yeah. I bet you've heard it. It's strictly B-List stuff. No-name cast, never released. Four Vegas punks run a mobster off the road. They shoot him, they rob him, they leave him for dead. But everybody knows shooting the monster and killing him y'know are never the same. A young honest cop arrives, and with him comes an opportunity. Monster changes his name, his face, passes for human, rides off into the night. (flashback ends) Mickey: And a legend is born. The end. Catherine: Mickey... you know that real horror stories never end. Mickey (semi-laughing): Oh-ho but this one does. (breathes in, chuckles) It's been huge fun. Coming back, trying new faces, leading you all around town by the nostrils, setting up the big discovery (flashback of news story "Everybody, he know Mickey Dunn" and then his crimes) Going after Kenneth, (in flashback he whispers "I'm Mickey Dunn" to Kenneth) taking out Mason, and the best by far, the look on poor Johnny's face, not the most handsome guy in the world. (flashback ends) But a face worth wearing. And the hardest part? Learning Spanish. (chuckles) Good times. Catherine: But why now? Mickey: Because that tiny piece of metal that Derek shot in my chest has finally moved. Doctors gave me a week, maybe two to live. Figured I'd go out with a bang, never see the inside of a cell. It's really funny you know, one little bullet could make things suddenly seem so clear. Catherine (standing and holding up a bullet): You mean this bullet? Mob doctors become mob doctors because they sucked in the first place. But we got a licensed surgeon who fixed you up good. Cheer up Mickey, you're going to live another 20 … 30 years, and you'll be spending everyday in the federal penitentiary... but only until you die. (she starts walking out) Mickey: But I'll still go out a legend (Catherine turns) You haven't changed that. Catherine: Ooh you've been out of the game a while. The homies they have in the pen these days never heard of you. Mickey: That's impossible. Catherine: No Mickey, that's life. (Catherine winks at him and walks out)

Doc. Robbins: Book that moron. Keep the camera.

Hodges: You wanna know what makes human bones glow? Greg: Love?

Johnny: Now get out there and arrest the ghost of Mickey Dunn, or get off my property. Brass: We're the cops, not the Ghostbusters.

Sara: David, can you give us a TOD? David (opening the victim's mouth): No problem. Ah, there's something in the mouth. Sofia: Bizarre. (David pulls a photograph out of the victim's mouth) David: That's my second one today. (he points to a person in the picture) That guy got hit by a limo. Sara: I guess that makes this a hit list.

Brass: Looks like we have a homicide-related road pizza. Grissom: Yeah, who ordered it?