CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

David: You know, we're getting kind of backed up in here. Doc Robbins: The only one I hear complaining about it is you.

Sara: Mannleigh chickens. Grissom: What about? Sara: I'll let you know. (Sara begins to leave the room. Grissom looks at her confused) See how it feels.

Suzy (to Warrick): I like you. You're a giant. Warrick (laughs): And you're a princess. Suzy: Thank you. (giggles, playing with her hair)

Greg: You got somethin'? Grissom: Yeah, I think so. (seeing the mini replica of the crime scene) One more chance.

Brass: Construction crew found him this morning. Woman's dead, and he's not talking. Wouldn't even give me his name even after I gave him my name! (Catherine is laughing in the background) Grissom: Did you, uh, pull his wallet? Brass: Everything is just the way I found him. (Catherine is still heard laughing) You know, I figured some knuckle head came in off the street, found him figured he had a free pass and picked his pocket. (Catherine is still laughing) Anyway, I'm talking to people on the street (starts to laugh) I'll let you know what we find. Grissom (smiling): Catherine, do you need a minute? Catherine (snickering behind her hand): Yes, yes, I mean...I mean no, Gil, I-I'm good. (to Max, the guy in cement) So how's your day going? (she starts to laugh again) Max: Lady, the best day I've ever had is worse than the worst day you've ever imagined. Catherine (smirks): Oh, I doubt that.

Catherine (to Max, who's in cement): Look, you're not going anywhere. It'll be a lot better for you if you just cooperate and just tell us what happened. Max: You wanna know what happened? Catherine (trying not to laugh): Mmhmm. Max: Figure it out yourself. Grissom (smiling): That's the fun part. (Catherine starts to laugh again)

Max: Do you have the time Jim? Brass: Yeah. (looks at his watch) Max: Cause it looks like it's half past you owe me ten bucks. Brass (goes into his pocket and pulls out his money clip): This goes in his personal effects. Now I'm going to suggest you get a name tag. Put the name Trixie on it, because that's what your cell mates will be calling you. Take him to the cell.

Catherine (to Max, while he's stuck in cement): Are you ready to give me a name? You know, you are in a very deep hole, in every sense of the word my friend. Think about that while we chisel you out. It's going to take a few hours. Assuming we're careful. See you!

(About Max) Catherine (laughing): I'm sorry -- it's -- it's horrible, but it's really funny -- I mean it's horrible and funny... (stops laughing when she sees that Grissom is unamused) Are you okay? Grissom: A guy kills two people before breakfast, that he had no intention of killing when he woke up that morning. By all accounts he led a meager life, an unnoticed life, and than all of a sudden, in a flash, it's over, and now for him, the real suffering begins. Catherine: You're tired. Grissom: Yeah. Sara (walking in): Hey, guess what? Grissom: Mankind has reached a new evolutionary plateau, and starting tomorrow, no one will rape, murder, or maim again. Sara: Uhm... no. Grissom: Too bad. Sara: But we did catch a break on that disposable cell phone number. Grissom: Raymundo Suarez called it as well. Sara: Uh, no, he didn't but according to the carrier, additional minutes were recently purchased with a credit card belonging to Ernie Dell. Brass is already on it, they're picking him up... we got the miniature killer.

Sara (to Grissom): You look like the kid who just found the prize in the bottom of the Cracker Jack box.

Hodges: Woowoo! Grissom (exasperated): Yes Hodges, I can see it's a train. Hodges: It's Locamotiville. I thought you might be a member.

Brass: Hey, how's Mr. Hoffa doing? Max: Hey, Jim! Cathy and I are just getting reacquainted. Will Gilbert be stopping by? Brass (to Catherine): I take it we don't have a name yet. Catherine: No. Brass: I bet you ten bucks that I'll have your name by nine PM. Max: You're on.

Mannleigh: I have no idea how Raymundo ended up dead. I liked that boy. Brass: Apparently, so did your wife. She was spending some quality time with Raymundo down at the plant. Mannleigh: If I killed every guy that banged my Bubbles, they'd be stacking up like cord wood. Brass: So you have no problem with it? Mannleigh: Look, Bubbles is an insatiable slut. But she's my slut, and I love her.

(Grissom is watching the video email Ernie has sent to him confessing to the murders) Ernie: My name is Ernest Edward Dell, I was born in 1946, in Ames, Iowa. My life's been hard, but I don't complain, I never expected better. I'm good with my hands, I make things, I fix things. I'm a handyman. It's what I am. A man has a right to a... an honest day's pay. Me, I service the machinery of death, so that people can eat. If that makes me evil, then so be it. I'm not the sociable type, I... I know that. Spend any amount of time around people, you get your heart broke. Treachery, hypocrisy, promise of love. Look into the mouth of a person and you'll find lies, wriggling there like maggots, waiting to grow wings. The world has gone mad. A man could kill from sun up, to sunset, and still his work would never be done. (kills himself)

Max: I'm the guy who buys his daughter a puppy for her eighth birthday. And the next day, he backs out on the driveway and... Brass: No... No ... Don't tell me you ran over the puppy. Max: No, I ran over my daughter. (Catherine starts to laugh on the other side of the glass) Twenty years later and she still walks funny.

Max: Look at me, generating income my first day in the joint. Yeah, Mom would be so proud.

Greg: Unappetizing place to get your rocks off. Grissom: Not if you have a poultry fetish.