CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Catherine: Aren't you coming? Grissom: You can handle it. Catherine: High profile case, technicalities ... that can't be why you do this, why you hang back and hide out. Grissom: You look better on camera. Catherine: Right. I didn't think so.

(Sara gives Bobby the bullet from her friend to process) Bobby: Hang on a second. (smiling) You get approval from Grissom, I don't want him walking in on me. Sara (nodding): Yeah. Bobby: Sara Sidle. Sara (smiling): Yeah, I did! Bobby: All right. Just checking!

Nick: The semen sample I recovered is still being processed in DNA. Greg (walks in): Not anymore. I'm done. And no jokes about me being fast in this department. The ejaculate outside the first girl's window -- spank high. Good news: It does have DNA. Nick: Whose? Greg: I don't know. Ran it through CODIS, nothing kicked out. Catherine: Well, it's possible this guy's so new he doesn't even have a record. Greg: Well, I can tell you this about him: Really low sperm count. Sample hardly had any swimmers. Nick: That's probably from excessive masturbation. Guy's outpacing his ability to produce ... (he looks up and finds everyone staring at him) ... sperm. Warrick: You'd know it, spanky.

Jacqui: The guy was pressing really hard on that window. Catherine: Well, with one hand anyway.

Catherine: Greg ... get anywhere with the semen I recovered from Joanne Crooks' hair? I sent it back with an officer. Greg: Uh, low volume. No sperm. Catherine: That's impossible. Greg: I knew you'd say that. Here. (he hands her the results and she sees it was pre-ejaculate) Catherine: Ah, the trailer before the show.

Grissom: The best intentions are fraught with disappointment. Sara: Emerson? Grissom: Grissom.