CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Grsissom: I need to see his testicles. Randy Gesek: I always knew there was something weird about you.

Nick: Hey, Catherine. Catherine: Yeah? Nick: You ever been in therapy? Catherine: Who hasn't? Didn't save my marriage. Nick: And you were okay sharing your problems with a complete stranger? Catherine: You rather I tell them to you?

Grissom: This drill is shorted out. Do you think he "jumped" before or after he got the shock of his life? Bob Harris: GFCI would have prevented shock. Sheriff Brian Mobley: What is GFCI? Bob Harris: A ground fault circuit interrupter. Grissom: Big words meaning you won't get electrocuted.

Brass: Gil, why do you do this to yourself? Grissom: What? Brass: The guy's dead. It could have been suicide ... accident. But you've always got to push it. Grissom: Just like any other case. Brass: You know what I think? Adrenaline. You need the rush. But that's just me.

Doc Robbins: The body contradicts your evidence. Grissom: I don't care what the body says, this guy was electrocuted. It was not an accident.

Nick: Okay then, at some point he was with the shrink in his underwear. Doc Robbins: Exactly what kind of therapy was this?

Catherine: Naked kid under a blanket at his shrink's late at night and his mother's there. Greg: Your case just entered a whole new dimension of weird.

Grissom: Hey, is that from the deli? Sara: Egg salad sandwich. You want half? Grissom: No. Can I have your pickle? Sara (she hands him the wrapped pickle): You can have it. Grissom (unwraps it and holds it up): Oh, that's a nice one.

Sara: We quit before we should have. Grissom: Yeah, you did.

Greg: FYI, 30 swabs in six hours is not realistic even for me.

Catherine: You're racing me, Nick. We're driving the same car. (Nick keeps walking down the hallway) Nick! (he keeps walking) Nick, I'll have you removed from the case. You're confronting suspects before the evidence is processed. You're flying solo, cutting me out. What's going on? Nick (takes a deep breath): Okay. There are some people you're supposed to be able to trust, you know? I was nine. And she was a last-minute baby-sitter. (Catherine's stunned) All I can remember doing afterwards is sitting in my room in the dark, staring at the door waiting for my mom to get home. But I've never told anyone before. Catherine: I'm sorry. Nick: It's what makes a person, I guess. I'm sorry, Catherine.

Sheriff Mobley: Bob Harris' prints were not on the murder weapon. Is that what you're telling me? Grissom: They were not on the nail. You see, I think that someone stuck a nail in the victim's boot and it evidently wasn't Bob Harris. Sheriff Mobley: In other words, you made a suspect out of an innocent man. Grissom: Obviously that wasn't my intent. Sheriff Mobley: Oh, good. Then maybe you'll want to bring that up in the newspaper article. Grissom: What are you talking about? What newspaper article? Sheriff Mobley: The one I'm arranging for your public apology. Grissom: I'm not making an apology. Sheriff Mobley: Oh, yes, you are. You don't go after a friend of mine, sully his reputation and then walk away. Actions have consequences, Gil. Even yours.

Warrick (to Grissom): So you just proved murder. Greg: I wouldn't break out that champagne just yet. Don't go shooting the messenger. Thumbprint from the nail. (hands over some test results)

Catherine: What's the matter with you? Nick: I'm on a case. Catherine: We're on a case. Nick: Right...

Warrick: You want his blood? Grissom: One pint. To go.

Greg: I think I smell something burning in the DNA lab. I'd love to stay and chat... Grissom: Greg, that better not be the crossword puzzle. (Greg hands Grissom the paper crane he had made)

Greg: Cheese, milk, sweaters. What do these things have in common? Catherine: Goat cheese, goat milk. Nick: Goat sweaters? Catherine: Angora. Greg: Ding, ding, ding. Fibers from the lady shrink, fibers from the boy. Both are angora. Nick: Angora is processed goat hair? Greg: Mmhmm. Catherine: Sheared, washed, spun and dyed. Angora's 100% goat. You didn't know that, Nick? Nick: Must be a chick thing. (Greg laughs)

Sheriff (Grissom just went out to talk to Brass about the suspect): What was that about? Grissom: Ah, we're in a bowling league together.

Warrick (they get a hit on a print): Robert Harris. Does that name mean anything? Grissom: Yeah, especially if you bet against me.

Warrick: Bobby Dawson's taking odds. 2:1 Grissom's wrong, 5:1 he gets suspended for shutting down the jail house, 10:... Sara: Fired?

Sheriff: What happened to good ol' dusting for prints? Grissom: When your crime scene is 12 stories up I don't want to take any chances.

Grissom (to the Sheriff): You look like the Sheriff, but you talk like the Mayor.

Grissom: Man versus Gravity. Man lost.

Grissom: Suicide, huh? I don't know, Brian. On the day you decide to end your life, why would you go to work?

Sara: You turned my pickle into a light bulb. Grissom: I'm electrocuting it. Sara: You sure are. Warrick: That would explain that smell. Grissom: This' how I cooked my hot dogs in college.