CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Grissom (to Holly): We scrutinize the crime scene. Collect the evidence. Recreate what had happened without ever having been there. It's pretty cool actually.

Holly (gasping): There were...bodies. I could feel them.....breathing... Grissom (chuckling): It's okay, Holly. It's alright. (turns around to yell at the bodies through the door) You assholes! (Holly laughs) There. Okay?

Brass: Suicide. Grissom: You think so, huh? Brass: You got the sleeping bag for easy cleanup, the bathtub to catch the bullet, open window so the stench alerts the neighbors ... god bless him. (Brass coughs. He flips the lights on. Grissom puts on his glasses to look at the scene. Brass clears his throat. Grissom looks around and finds a bug and he picks it up) Grissom: Pupa, stage three. Brass: English. I'm not an entomologist. Grissom: It's the third stage of larva metamorphosis. This guy's been dead seven days. (Grissom puts the larva into a container) Brass: That's a maggot, and he stinks. Oh, good, it's almost 11:00. Maybe if I'm lucky I can break out of here in time for a shot at the first rack of the Krispy Kreme.

(Grissom plays suicide tape for Royce Harmon's Mom and Sister) Grissom: We are so sorry about this Mrs. Harmon. I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you. Mrs. Harmon: No, you don't understand. This is his picture, but that's not my son's voice.

Warrick: Twenty bucks, by the end of shift, I'm the man. Nick: Is there anything you won't bet on? Warrick: Nah. It's college football season, man. I won eight of ten this weekend. Kilt 'em. Outside the Huskers and them punk-ass Irish, I'm up about four G's. Nick: Hmm, what's the line on us? Warrick: On us? I'm like Tiger, man! I'm heavily favored.

Holly Gribbs (to Grissom): No offence, but I don't want to eat anything that's been in this office.

(Catherine enters the store with her gun drawn) Catherine: Gun down! Store Owner: What? I'm getting robbed again? Catherine: Everything okay? Holly: Yes, ma'am. (Catherine radios in everything's fine) Catherine: You the new girl? Holly: Yeah. Hi, I'm Holly Gribbs. Catherine: Thanks. I'm Catherine Willows. Store Owner: And I'm Lesley Stahl. Look, let's forget the formalities. Which one of you people's gonna clean my counter here? Catherine: Let me tell you something, Lady-- if you don't care about catching the suspect neither do we. We're out of here. You can pick your gun up tomorrow. (Cath and Holly turn and start walking towards the door) Holly (whispers): You can do that? Catherine (scoffs): No.

Grissom: Forget about making a hundred, forget about the victim, forget about the suspect and focus on the only thing that can't lie: the evidence. Follow the reason we're having this conversation. Warrick (nods): Follow the shoe.

Catherine: What do you think? Warrick: Oh, he's lying. That's why I took this job. I can always tell when whitey's talking out his ass. It's a gift.

Brass: You're the fifth person I've been forced to hire. We're the number two crime lab in the country. We solve crimes most labs render unsolvable. Now what makes you think you belong here? (Holly glances at Grissom. When it's apparent that he's not going to answer for her, Holly turns back to Brass) Holly Gribbs: Sir, with all due respect I thought the key to being a lucid crime scene investigator was to reserve judgment until the evidence vindicates or eliminates assumption. (Brass glances at Grissom and smiles) You're prejudging me. I graduated with honors in criminal justice at UNLV. Brass (flippantly): Yeah, so? Holly Gribbs: That's not fair. Brass: Fair? Well, you think putting a juiced-in Lieutenant's daughter on this shift is fair? You know, I've been in the field 22 years. I've seen it all. I've seen people like you come and go, and you know what? They don't amount to nothing but headaches and bad press. Dismissed. (Brass takes a seat at his desk) Holly Gribbs: Fine. (she leaves) Grissom: Think you got through to her? Brass: You're scheduled to appear at an autopsy at 12:30 A.M. (Grissom stands up) They're cutting up that bozo who put a hole in his chest. Take her with. I think every new hire should experience an autopsy on their first night. (Grissom leaves)

Grissom: Morning. Gil Grissom, forensics. I'm taking over the case for Warrick Brown. Mind if I come in? Husband (sighs): How can I help you? Grissom: I need to give you a pedicure. Husband: Come again?

Grissom (ponders): If latex rubber and cooking spray went on a blind date, how would the night end? Charlotte: A lot better than ours did. Grissom: I know, Pink Floyd's not your thing. Charlotte: I have on cowboy boots. I work in a lab. What makes you think "Dark Side of the Moon" synched to the Wizard of Oz is going to warm my damn barn? Grissom: I just thought it'd be something different. Charlotte: You want to be different? Pin me up against a wall; lay one on me like you mean it. (Charlotte gets up and walks past Grissom) You're slacking, pal. (She sits down in front of the computer database. The computer beeps and starts running through print comparisons) Grissom: How long til' we get a hit? Charlotte: It could be four minutes, could be four days but you can bet your ass she'll give you something. She always does. Grissom: "Pin you against a wall?" (Grissom casts Charlotte a sideways glance)

Dr. Klausbach (to Grissom, referring to Holly): She is cute.

Royce Harmon (voiceover): My name is Royce Harmon. I reside at 7642 Carpenter Street, Las Vegas, Nevada. I am 41 years of age ... and I'm going to kill myself.

Holly Gribbs: Look, um, I got to be honest. This isn't me. I was pushed into it by my mom. She's a Lieutenant in Traffic. She's never going to get out of traffic so, um, I'm fulfilling her dreams, not mine. Catherine: I can sit here and I can baby you and I can tell you to quit but I'm not going to do that, because I really love my job. We're just a bunch of kids that are getting paid to work on puzzles. Sometimes there's a piece that's missing. Sometimes we solve it in one night. Holly Gribbs: So you think I should stick with it? Catherine: Stick with it? The cops? Forget it. They wouldn't know fingerprints from paw prints and the detectives...chase the lie. We solve. We restore peace of mind. And when you're a victim, that's everything. Stick it out. At least until you solve your first. And after that, if you don't feel like King Kong on cocaine, then you can quit. But if you stay, with my right hand to God, you will never regret it.

Sergeant O'Riley (describing Brass and Grissom): Here comes the nerd squad.

Greg (holding a swab Nick gave him): So this is it, huh? The 8,000 dollar Q-Tip. Nick: Well, you're the chemist. I just need to know what knocked the old man out. Greg: In 20 seconds, this'll give us a complete chemical breakdown right down to the atom. But, I've got to warn you, oral swabs don't always read right. Vaginal swabs? No problem. Anal swabs? Money. Nick: Anal swabs? Greg: Anal swabs. (pauses and sits down) Ouch.

Grissom (to Warrick): Yes, you had him and the minute you started thinking about yourself instead of the case, you lost him. There is no room for subjectivity in this department, Warrick. You know that. We handle each case objectively without presupposition regardless of race, color, creed, or bubble gum flavor.

Grissom: I need you to roll up your sleeve and give me a pint of your blood Holly Gribbs: What for? Grissom: It's customary for all new hires. Holly Gribbs: Why? Grissom: So many reasons. (Later) Warrick: Whose blood is it? Grissom: The new girl. Want to donate? Warrick: Hell, no.

(Holly Gribbs is observing her first autopsy) Grissom: You gotta breathe through your ears, Gribbs.