CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Doc Robbins: What is it about organized sports? Grissom: Well, organized sports is the paradigmatic model of a just society. Everyone knows the same language, everyone knows the rules, and there's a specific punishment handed out the moment someone tries to cheat. It's instant morality.

Nick (to Warrick): Hey Sara. (Warrick looks at him) You come up on your nights off. People will gonna start confusing the two of you.

(Upon entering Terry River's apartment) Catherine: How do men live like this? Grissom: What's wrong with it? Catherine: Well, it's a cave, with hardwood floors. Grissom: It's clean. Television, couch. What else does a guy need? Catherine: Well, how about a plant? Anything to makes it a little more...human. I mean, it doesn't seem like this guy had any...connection to anybody. Grissom (looking at the bed): I don't know about that. (Grissom walks over to the closet. Catherine takes out her ALS and starts examining the sheets) Catherine: It's never a good sign when a guy has more women than furniture. Grissom: What's the ratio here? Catherine: Judging from these stains, I'd say four women for every piece of furniture including the TV. At least we know what this guy was about: bucks, pucks and... (Grissom gives her a look, so she changes what she was about to say) ...chicks.

Sara: Boys will be boys. Grissom: Yeah, it looks like these boys went to a fight and a hockey game broke out. Sara: You just don't like sports. Grissom: That's not true I've been a baseball fan my whole life. Sara: Baseball that makes sense, all those stats. Grissom: It's a beautiful game. Sara: Since when are you interested in beauty? Grissom: Since I met you.

Sara: You sucked at team sports, didn't you Greg? Greg: I was captain of the high school chess team. Sara: Chess is not a sport, Greg. Greg: Then why is there a World Chess Champion? Sara: Sports are physical by definition. Greg: Well, sex is physical. Is that a sport? Sara: Not to me.

Sara: Looking for blood on a hockey jersey is like handing out jay-walking tickets during a marathon.

Warrick: What are you doing here? Nick: I'm playing cards. With my friend.

Sara: With all the sex these people are having maybe I should take up hockey.

Sara: 120 minutes for a tooth ... the whole tooth ... and nothing but the tooth.

Grissom: What is Victoria's Secret, anyway? Sara: Beauty, Grissom. Remember?

Brass: Hockey, rough game. Grissom: Yeah, it's murder.

Grissom: There are three things in life people like to stare at: a rippling stream; a fire in a fireplace; and a zamboni going 'round and 'round. Sara: Charlie Brown: "I love a zamboni." Grissom: We all do.