CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Undersheriff McKeen: Alright, which one of you screwed this up? Brass: I'm looking at him. You dropped the ball, man. You never cleared this with the D.A and now she says she can't tell fact from fiction. She's not gonna file charges against Simon. Undersheriff McKeen: She's a tight ass. I told her what I thought she needed to know. Brass: Did you hear what I said? Now what're you gonna tell the Sheriff?

Warrick: This glass wasn't shot out. Take a look at that. (Nick looks) Nick: Spark plug? Warrick: The only mark a spark plug makes is a knick in the center, now who would know about that? Nick: Crooks... and cops. And hey, get this... the blood found in Holstein's car had high levels of EDTA... anti-coagulant. Warrick: That means that the blood didn't come from his head, it came from his arm. Nick: Which means this crime scene was staged. Warrick: If Keppler is IA that means Catherine couldn't tell us anything even if she wanted to. Nick: If this is all IA... B.S, then why play it out in the press?

Nick: I can't find the evidence in the Holstein case. Catherine: What do you want it for? Nick: Because that guy who confessed to killing Zameesca didn't do it. The sheriff's jumping the gun. Catherine: We have evidence and a confession, you can't just come in here and take over my case. Nick: Is there a reason that you don't want me to see that file, Catherine? Catherine: Nick, as your supervisor I'm ordering you to back off.

Sara: Uh, it's freezing why are we having a meeting outside? Nick: Because Catherine and Keppler are in there. Greg: Have you guys been listening to Hodges? Nick: No, and this isn't about Keppler being IA anyway, this is about Catherine having a false confession and standing by it. Warrick: You'd better be able to back that one up, man. Nick: Zameesca knew Sara and Greg's vic. He's dead, she's dead. Same drugs are found at both crime scenes. And then those same drugs were found at your crime scene? Warrick: Could've came from the same supplier. Greg: We see that all the time. Nick: I don't think it's a coincidence. Sara: You know, Catherine...(looks around) Catherine ordered Henry to step out of his lab without putting drug evidence away. Greg: Why would she do that? Warrick: I did see Keppler checkin' out Zameesca's file the yesterday, I didn't think anything strange of it then, but now... Sara: Okay, so maybe there is a IA investigation. Nick: I can't find the Holstein evidence. Sara: What? Warrick: Catherine put it in the temporary locker. Nick: Yeah but why didn't she put it where it belongs? Warrick: The Holstein bullet is a little too clean and Keppler didn't seem at all concerned about it, he said we'd see it in autopsy. Nick: It's kinda hard to have an autopsy when you don't have a body, man. I talked to Doc Robbins and he's still tryin' to track it down. And the mortuary has no record of Catherine's call whatsoever. Sara: Do we have access to any of the Holstein evidence? Warrick: We got the car. (laughs and realizes) Catherine sent it to the impound. Greg: Well, at least we know where it is. Nick: Alright that's it, we're a team now, the four of us. We can't trust Catherine and we can't trust Keppler. I'm serious, I'm going to roll with this one. Warrick: I'll roll wit'chu. You? (looks at Sara) Sara (pauses): I'm in. (all look at Greg, he looks around nervously and then nods/shrugs)

Catherine: I grew up in this town, I know all about playing the odds, you are gambling with my team. Keppler: We talked about the risks going in, it's not like we can quit now. Catherine: I'm not quitting, but I don't like it. And I hate lying to my guys.

(After Undersheriff McKeen walks out after lunch) Keppler: You ever notice how the guys that have all the money never end up paying? Brass: Sure, that's how they keep all the money.

Keppler: We can try something I did in Philly. It's uh, a little unorthodox. Undersheriff McKeen: I only want to know if it works. Keppler: Philly, yes, Baltimore, no. Catherine: Is that why you're in Vegas? (Keppler smiles) Undersheriff McKeen: 50/50 I can live with those odds. Brass: So are you waitin' for a drumroll? Keppler: It's called reverse forensics. Catherine: Oh, we fake a crime scene? Keppler: Basically. Undersheriff McKeen: How do we get around entrapment? Keppler: Well it's not entrapment if you're not enticing anyone to commit a crime. The goal is to make Simon think he's off the hook. Brass: So what's the catch? Keppler: The whole thing's a catch. The hardest part is stopping leaks. You gotta be willing to deceive the people you work with. Catherine: Assuming they can be deceived, which they can't. Undersheriff McKeen: Not your call. Brass: You know I can name nine, no ten ways this can go wrong. Keppler: At least.

Keppler: It's called reverse forensics. Greg: Reverse forensics? Catherine: Simon had to believe it when he saw it on the news. Keppler: He was a fugitive, the only way to get him to show his face was to make him think that he was off the hook. Warrick: And your only option was fabricate evidence and make me process it? Greg: How could you think we wouldn't figure it out? It's kinda what we do. Catherine: I understand how you must all feel, I am sorry. I had no choice. Nick: We trust you with our lives, Catherine, you could have trusted us with this. (long pause) Catherine: Sara? Sara: If I have something to say to you Catherine, I'm going to say it in private. (to Keppler) No offence.

Sara: You know... I really hate deceiving people, because eventually you get what you give. Warrick: I hate being deceived.

Hodges (to Sara): Ten to one, it's Internal Affairs. I got a vibe off Keppler the minute he blew in. Always with a suit. If you got any dirty laundry, I hope you use bleach.

Keppler: My eggs are runny. I couldn't have been more specific to the waitress. (he looks around for the waitress, then over at Brass' plate) You gonna eat those? Brass: Oh, you want my pancakes? (he hands over the plate) Sure, knock yourself out.

Warrick: You wanna, uh, get a drink or somethin'? Nick: Not tonight, man. I'm tired. (Nick walks away) Warrick: Nick....Nick! Let it go, man.

Nick (about Catherine): Man, she has got it in for me today! Warrick: Well... giddyap.

Keppler: Stealing cars gets old fast. I like a challenge. Catherine: Note. To. Self.

Keppler: So what do you think- does the dyslexic athiest believe in Dog? Warrick: What? (long pause)....Oh. I get it.

Catherine: I'm not used to faking it. Keppler: When's the last time you had to?

Keppler: If we do our job right and catch the guy, no one will remember the rest. Catherine (quieter): I'll remember.

Hodges: Interesting that Grissom, the little man's guy, is on sabbatical. Keppler: Maybe he planned it that way.

Nick: Want to shoot our way in? Warrick: I'd love to bust a cap in his knee.