CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Grissom: Sara? Sara: Hmm? Grissom: Do you have any duct tape in your kit? Sara: Yeah, that's what I use to keep it together.

(Grissom tosses a bag of money bands on Caulfield's desk) Ty Caulfield: What's this? Grissom: This is what's left of your $10 million. Ty Caulfield: Thank you for reminding me. Grissom: Do you know how much $10 million weighs? (Caulfield shakes his head) 220 pounds. Your lifeguard, Nathan Pollard-- 5'6", 140 pounds. Ty Caulfield: Strong little bastard. Grissom: Mmm. Say, could I borrow $10,000 in $100 bills? Ty Caulfield: What? Grissom: Only for a demonstration. Ty Caulfield: I'm sorry. I'm all out. Grissom: That's okay. I brought my own. (he shows him the blank money bills) It's only paper, but it's the same size, weight and density. (he puts it down on the table to continue the demonstration) Did you know... money bands are wrapped tightly around stacks of bills? They're very difficult to slip off. In fact, the only way you can get them off is to tear them. Ty Caulfield: What's your point? Grissom: None of your money bands were torn. Now, I don't know how much money you had in your vault, Mr. Caulfield, but I'm pretty sure I know how much you're going to be asking your insurance company for. You see, that's why you had your "thief" leave the money bands behind. You hired Mr. Chen and his merry band of actors to rip you off. I'm sure you paid them, but nothing close to $10 million. Ty Caulfield: "Your notions, though many, are not worth a penny." Grissom: Mmm. "The Mikado." Ty Caulfield: Notions are all you have. Otherwise, we'd be downtown instead of here in my office. You know, I've always been a big supporter of the arts. Hence, Mr. Yamamoto... Grissom Uh, Mr. Chen's... Ty Caulfield: Hence, the exhibition. Over the years, I've financed theatrical productions. Grissom: Including The Mikado? Well, you know, one of your "partners" is going to come back again someday. He's going to miss his family, friends, the ensemble. He'll be back. And I'm guessing he'll tell us all about your latest production. Ty Caulfield: Yes, well, until then, Mr. Grissom. Grissom: Until then. (he stands up and collects his things) I'm going to hand my findings over to your insurance company. I wouldn't count on receiving a payment. (picks up his kit and heads out the door... whistling)

(Greg whips out a wooden stake and holds it out to Catherine) Greg: For you ... (Catherine takes the stake. Greg holds out a crucifix for Warrick) ... and you. Just in case.

(Grissom checks the vent and finds the missing sword hidden in the ceiling) Grissom (smiles): Huh. Domo arigato.

Brass: Come on, nobody should have been allowed to leave. Head of Hotel Security: Your officers didn't say anything about detaining Mr. Caulfield's guests. Brass: Just give me a list of names, okay? Head of Hotel Security: Yeah. (leaves) Nick: Weird night. Brass (points to the dummy): That's not the only dummy here.

Brandon Miller: I feel like an idiot. Grissom: Well, you may have a concussion.

Grissom: I'm sorry, but there's really no gentle way to do this. (Grissom reaches out and rips the tape off of Brandon Miller's mouth)

(After Nick damages the sword) Nick: Uh... Grissom, how's our insurance? (Grissom turns to see what happened) I was being careful, I swear!