CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Season 4 Episode 21

Nick: Well, there goes my theory. No one tampers with their sex machine.

Greg: I found something a little unusual for a roller coaster. Not a sailor but a...
Sara: Semen. Sex on the roller coaster?
Greg: Or some kid shaking hands with Shorty.
Grissom: The release of epinephrine and adrenaline while riding a roller coaster can produce a stimulatory effect. It enhances ejaculation.
Greg: Right.

(Ms. Press just confessed she killed her own daughter)
Ms. Press: Justin was the best thing in my life.
Catherine: No. Your daughter was the best thing in your life. (Catherine gets up, disgusted, and heads for the door)
Ms. Press: You didn't know her.
Catherine: I do know that she was 13. A child. (walks out the door)

Woody: Oh, I just hope they don't blame the coaster. It may not be the Manhattan Express at New York, New York or the Desperado in Primm, but it-it... it still makes grown men scream.
Grissom: My first week in Vegas, I rode the Desperado.
Woody: My first coaster marathon. I rode that monster for a week straight.
Grissom: Hmm. The Steel Phantom, Kennywood Park, Pennsylvania -- I actually hold the marathon record there.
Woody: Uh, uh. My-my favorite's still the, um, Kings Island. The Beast.
Grissom: Mm. I presented a paper at an entomology convention in Cincinnati just so I could ride Son of Beast. Head over heels on a wooden track.
Woody: Ah. So, you prefer wood over steel?
Grissom: No. Not really. For me, it's not about the track. (smiles) It's about the thrill.

(After Sara, Nick and Greg arrive at the crime scene)
Nick: Hey, sorry we're late. There was a news van blocking the entrance.
Grissom: This is the first time a roller coaster has derailed in Clark County. Huge criminal and civil liabilities issues, so keep it quiet. Photograph the scene. Bag and tag the detritus. Forklift anything bigger than Greg. We're going to put up a tent on the other side of the parking lot for crime scene reconstruction. Questions?
Greg: Yeah. What's that guy doing so far away from the others?
Grissom: Curious, isn' t it? (walks away)
Greg (to Sara): So when he asks if anybody has any questions, he's not really asking?
Sara (smirks): Well, I don't know much about roller coaster accidents but in auto collisions, the victims found furthest away from the cars weren't usually wearing a seat belt. That'd be my bet.

Grissom: "There are three things in human life that are important. The first is to be kind; the second one is to be kind and the third one is to be kind."
Sara: Henry James.
Grissom: Very good. Author of one of the greatest horror stories ever written. Turn of the Screw. And I'm looking for one.
Sara: A screw?
Grissom: Yes.
Nick: Oh, well, technically these are eccentric shafts, not screws. (Greg hands him a container full of screws)
Grissom: Well, as long as you can screw a nut on it, it's a screw.
Sara: Turn of the Screw isn't really a horror story it's more of a mystery. Did the governess kill the little boy or did the ghost do it?
Grissom: Well, it's only a mystery if you believe in ghosts. (Sara gives him a look. He holds up a screw) End threads are stripped.
Nick: Means the nuts were loose. Excessive play on the screws would have worn down the threads.
Grissom: And the nuts would have popped off.
Greg: Nuts just don't pop off by themselves. (Grissom gives him a look)

Grissom: Everything is relevant Greg, until it isn't.

Brass: What kind of training do you get?
Joey: I release the brake. I hit the button. It's green. It's marked "Go".

Nick: Oh, I am the man!
Grissom (rounding the corner): Are you?

Hodges: Your killer has a rash.
Sara: And we need to catch it.