Dr. Al Robbins
Annabelle Bundt/Natasha Steele
Bud: Whoa hey! Easy on the Emmy there buddy.
Grissom: Is that what this is?
This is an in-joke for the two series involved (Two and a Half Men and CSI) with this episode. Both have been nominated multiple times for Best Series Emmys in their respective categories, but neither has won the award.
The movie studio that Grissom and Brass respond to for the crime scene involving Natasha is Universal Studios, Hollywood. As Grissom and Brass are being driven to the scene, they pass a road marker labeled "Jay Ward Drive". Jay Ward was a prolific animator, responsible for such iconic characters as Super Chicken and Tom Slick, among many others.
Goof: When Megan Kupowski mourns over Binky, her dead dog, she is conveniently kneeling on a small red rug to protect her knees. The rug also changes positions during the scene.
Brass (about Bud): So you like 'em for it?
Grissom: There's nothing about this guy that I like. (holding an Emmy) But if he's smart enough to pull off a double homicide, he deserves one of these because he's a better actor than anyone on the show.
Grissom (on phone with her): Detective Flores is keeping us in the loop. We're gonna do lunch.
Catherine: Okay, well don't go all Hollywood on us. See 'ya soon. (hangs up)
Hodges: Bud didn't marry Annabelle. Bud married Natasha pretending to be Annabelle.
Catherine: Well, one thing's for sure. Neither one of them is pretending to be dead.
Brass: But you were newlyweds, why'd you sleep in different rooms?
Bud: Well, she had kind of a rule about that. She didn't like to look at me after we had sex.
Brass (shows him a picture of the rubber chicken): What did you know about the chicken?
Bud: She didn't like to look at me during sex, either.
Brass (about Annabelle): Y'know, it's a tragic coincidence that she died two days after you qualified for half of what she's worth.
Bud: Really? I thought that was the bright side.
Bud: Annabelle and I married two days ago.
Spencer: Oh, I don't believe that.
Bud: Oh, no it's true. We had a deal. She said that if I gave up coke that we could get married.
Spencer: But you never gave up coke.
Bud: She didn't know that. (sniffs)
Grissom: Was Annabelle bulimic?
Spencer: Oh, you bet she was.
Lytle: Spencer there's no need to get in the --
Spencer: It's alright, she can't hurt us anymore. Yeah, she did the two-finger dessert, but at least the vomit seemed to take off what the camera put on.
Brass (about Annabelle): When was the last time that you saw her?
Spencer: When we wrapped. I got really drunk, and then I threw up, got drunk again. Went up to my room, crawled into bed and prayed for death. ... Mine. Not her's.
David: Sorry for the delay, it's a paparazzi jungle downstairs.
Grissom: Yeah, well Doc Robbins isn't the only one with a scrap book.
Henry: So, the clot doesn't thicken but the plot does.
Warrick: Hey, what does this look like to you?
Grissom: Hermaphrodite on rollerskates.
Catherine: A puppy.
(Hodges has been doing a lot of tests on the absorption of tampons)
Wendy: That time of the month, huh? I know, picking out the right feminine product can be so hard.
Hodges: You're gonna mock me or help me?
Wendy: I have to choose?
Hodges: I can't get this to work!
Wendy: Well that's probably 'cause you don't have the right equipment. ... You don't, do you?
Hodges: Haha, you're lucky you're cute. Annabelle Fundt was dosing her tampons with vodka.
Wendy: Does that even work?
Hodges: Kinda, even at their most absorbent, tampons only hold about 19 grams of fluid or about 20 milliliters.
Wendy: Well, that's enough for aunt flow but that is not going to get an alcoholic drunk.
Hodges: Who's aunt flow? (Wendy gives him a look) Oh! All right, maybe she was just doing it to take the edge off but what I can't figure out is how she managed it because every time I throw one in here, it turns into Spongebob Squarepants.
Wendy: You don't take it out of the applicator first. Gimme! (Hodges gives her a tampon) Thanks. Watch and learn. (she makes it clear how it works) There, that's why they call it an applicator.
Hodges: I always wondered how that worked.
Wendy: All men do.
Bud: Whoa hey! Easy on the Emmy there buddy.
Grissom: Is that what this is?
Grissom: The L.A. coroner's office found semen in Natasha vaginal canal.
Bud: What's the L.A coroner's office doing in Natasha's vaginal canal?
Brass: Is there somethin' that you wanna tell us, Bud?
Bud: Yeah. That's probably my ... you know, in her ... you know.
Grissom: We know.
Brass: So, you faked your wedding, you use Natasha as a photo double, Annabelle dies, you inherit everything that she had and split it with Natasha. Nice plan.
Bud: No, no, no, no, no, no. ... Well, yeah that was the plan. But we didn't kill her. Natasha went up to her room and she was already dead.
Greg: So, that's it. Robot-man, closet-stalker-guy gets his package grabbed and a TV star dies.
Nick: It is the classic story.
Nick: Looks like a comedy writer came out of the closet.
Catherine: I doubt if it's the first time.
Grissom: Then the rubber chicken was inserted port-mortem.
Dr. Robbins: And thus not the cause of death.
Grissom: Might have been a gag. Sorry.
Lytle: Beautiful people doing high-tech police work. There might be a series in this.
Grissom: Did she also have a drug problem?
Lytle: Define problem.
Grissom: The kind that requires using other people's urine to pass a drug test.
Lytle: Then yes.
(Grissom holds a rubber chicken prop)
David: Come on, you got to say something. Uh... I suspect foul play? Or that's poultry evidence. You know, something.
Grissom: Dying is easy, comedy's hard.
Spencer: Sure, I created the show. When the show became a hit, she became a star. I became a highly paid butt-monkey.
Brass: Well, it's a skill like anything else.
International Episode Titles:
Czech Republic: Dvě a půl smrti (Two and a Half Deaths)
Det. Carolina Flores tells Grissom and Brass that Natasha's body will be taken to Mission Road. The address of the Los Angeles County Coroner is 1104 N. Mission Road, in the city of Los Angeles.
Music Featured In This Episode:
Club Donkey Ass (Interlude): OutKast
Hallelujah: Jeff Buckley
La La La: zZz
Original International Air Dates:
United Kingdom: May 13, 2008 on Channel 5
Denmark: May 16, 2008 on Kanal 5
Norway: May 27, 2008 on TVNorge
Australia: June 29, 2008 on Nine
Middle East: October 26, 2008 on ShowSeries
Sweden: November 3, 2008 on Kanal 5
Spain: January 6, 2009 on AXN
Finland: March 4, 2009 on MTV3
Czech Republic: December 10, 2009 on TV Nova
Tom Arnold revealed on Adam Carolla's podcast that this episode was based on Chuck Lorre's experiences producing Roseanne.
When Hodges is watching Annabelle's wedding, you can see that on his laptop, he is on Perezhilton.com
Perezhilton.com is a gossip website documenting the lives of celebrities.
Brass (to Grissom): Forget it, Gil. It's Burbank.
Brass' statement is a paraphrase of the last line of Chinatown, which dealt with the California water wars of the 1920's. The line also echoes the thought that the good guys don't always win.
When Grissom and Brass are being driven round the TV lot, Grissom draws Brass' attention to something by pointing. The camera shows Charlie Sheen, Jon Cryer and Angus T. Jones - the three stars of the TV series Two and a Half Men outside a trailer, the former 2 smoking cigars and Jake Harper biting the end off a cigar and spitting it onto the ground. Drawing further attention to the title of this CSI Episode.
Megan's new series is scheduled to be on CBS on Mondays. This is the day Two and a Half Men airs, and we all know the show's writers wrote this episode.
Brass: For me, that's when the show jumped the shark.
The phrase "jumping the shark" refers to a specific point where fans of a television show recognize that the program has lost its purpose, gone beyond its effective lifespan, and ratings begin to decline as a result of the loss of quality. The phrase was made popular by an episode of Happy Days in which Arthur Fonzerelli literally jumped over a shark on a pair of water skis (while wearing a leather jacket no less).
Stewart Lytle: 30 share easy - unless they throw that dancing crap at us.
This is a reference to Dancing With The Stars, a reality TV show that, in the time frame this episode originally aired, consistently led its slot in the ratings war.
Stewart Lytle: Beautiful people doing hi-tech police work - there might be a series in this.
This is a reference to CSI itself.
Henry: What we have here is failure to coagulate.
In Cool Hand Luke (1967) Captain, played by Strother Martin, says, "What we got here is... failure to communicate..". Henry is doing a recognizable, but mediocre Strother Martin interpretation.
Nick: A mime is a terrible thing to waste.
This refers to the slogan of the United Negro College Fund, "A mind is a terrible thing to waste."
Frieberg: She hates everything and I'm afraid of vaginas.
Mark: I'm only afraid of the ones with teeth.
This is a reference to the movie Teeth (2007) about a young women with teeth-like structures lining her vagina.
Grissom: Dying is easy, comedy is hard.
This has been attributed to several people - G.B.Shaw, Edmund Gwenn (In actual fact, he said: "Dying is easy. Comedy is difficult.") , and others. It may be the last words of the great 18th century Shakespearian actor Edmund Kean.
The title of this episode is a parody of the CBS series Two And A Half Men.
This is due to the writers of Two And A Half Men writing this episode, and the writers of CSI writing an episode of Two And A Half Men in exchange. Angus T. Jones, John Cryer, and Charlie Sheen also make a cameo appearance.
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