CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Grissom: This is your dad's office. Ellie: Yeah, I can read. Grissom: Have a seat. Ellie: Why? Grissom: Why not? (Ellie moves around the desk and sits on the desk. She looks over and finds a framed photo of a blonde-haired girl on the desk. It's her. She chuckles as she seems to remember) Ellie: Oh, wow. Grissom: That's the reason we asked you to come in. Ellie: That's like loving a puppy. That's easy. You know, did you ever think that maybe he's better off just lying there and not waking up? A lot easier.

Sofia: I just got a heads up from a friend in Payroll at PERS. Ellie Brass just called about Jim's pension. She wanted to know how much there was and was she a beneficiary. This girl is circling like a vulture. Jim doesn't need this kind of energy around him now. Now ... Ellie's been in a lot of trouble with the law. It wouldn't be difficult to chase her out of town. Grissom: Well, I'm sure he'd appreciate the offer, but I don't think he'd want you to do that.

Sofia (seeing the reenactment): Is this Gettysburg? Grissom: You into military history? Sofia: My dad was. Used to spend the summer touring Pennsylvania in an RV, so I could learn things. Grissom: You were a lucky girl. (Sofia smiles)

Doc Robbins (about the victim): There's evidence of sexual activity in every orifice, including his ears. Catherine: You joking? Doc Robbins: No. We've got pubic hairs, vaginal secretions. Catherine: Maybe he suffocated during oral sex. Doc Robbins: Would you care to move on to stomach contents? Catherine: Guess we're done with the appetizers. Doc Robbins: Well, the main course was enough alcohol and cake to cater a wedding. Catherine: Well, at least he went out in style, hmm? Doc Robbins: Alone, maybe none of it would've been fatal, but taken all together ... Catherine: ... means he died with a smile on his face. Doc Robbins: Among other things.

Nick: Did you analyze the bone fragments? Hodges: I'm only one highly gifted person. (Nick sighs) I'll let you know.

(Warrick and Catherine find pills, lines of cocaine, and joints near the victim) Catherine: Which of the seven deadly sins are not represented here?

Surgeon: Have next-of-kin been notified? Grissom: For, uh, medical purposes, I have his power of attorney. Surgeon: You may have a decision to make.

Warrick: You know, your father is out of surgery. Ellie: Yeah, how's he doing? Warrick: It's a little too early to tell, but I know when he wakes up, he'll be happy to see you. Ellie: Think so? Warrick: I know so. You look good. Ellie: You mean I don't look like a crack-whore anymore? Warrick: That's not what I meant, but no. Does he ever talk about me? (Warrick remains silent) That's a no. Warrick: Look, what do you want me to say, hmm? It's not really about you right now, okay? But the fact that you're here is saying a lot. Ellis: Yeah, well, thanks for clearing that up for me.

Grissom: Where's McKeen? Greg: I sent him home. (Grissom looks surprised) I'm kidding, he went to get something to eat. (referring to Brass) You two have known each other for a long time. Grissom: We've worked together ever since he came from New Jersey. Greg: Just between you and me, does he always wear a suit? Like when you guys go to dinner, the movies, or whatever it is you do when you hang out? Cause I've got to tell you, the thought of him in a sweater... it freaks me out. Grissom: We don't... hang out, Greg. Greg: No kiddin'? I just assumed.

Henry (about Manny Rupert): Mr. Party till I drop. His blood alcohol level was .28. Warrick: Point two-eight?! That's barely conscious for most people. That's like falling down drunk. Henry: Drunk just gets you in the door. We're also talking cocaine, opiates, barbiturates, methamphetamine, MDMA, THC. Serum was milky white with triglycerides. Warrick: Wow, if it was illegal, fun, or nasty, this guy was into it.

Nick: Are you checking out my waist? Hodges: I'm a, I'm a 32 incher myself... same as in college. Nick: Oh, congratulations. Hodges: You know, women aren't the only ones who feel the pressure to look good. Time was, having a rotund belly was a sign of prosperity and success... now, it just means you're a lazy glutton not getting any.

(Seeing a broken mirror at the crime scene, where a huge party took place) Catherine (to Warrick): You know what they say... it's not a real party until somebody breaks something.

(Flashback. Brass is talking to Grissom talking in his office) Brass: I envy these parents who live in ignorant bliss because ... I know how my daughter Ellie lives. I know the company she keeps and I know what she does to get by. And ... (he shakes his head) ... anyway, I mean, I'm ... I'm ... a couple of nights ago I'm in LA and sitting in my car on Hollywood Boulevard watching her work a corner and my eyes are playing tricks on me because I don't see what she's doing, I see what she was. I see a little six year-old girl with a ponytail, playing with crayons ... singing a little tune to herself. It's ... I don't know, all I want to do is save her. But the thing is, you know, if something happened to me ... I don't think Ellie would, uh ... care. (he picks up the papers off the desk and hands them to Grissom to look at) So I'm asking you to do me this favor. There's no one I trust more with my life, or my death ... than you.

Catherine: Well, that's a great story, but it doesn't sound like it was worth the ten g's that we found in your purse. Sidnee: I earned that money. Catherine: Don't take it personally, but you don't look like a 10,000 a night girl.

Grissom (referring to the victim who wore a corset, giving him an impossibly small waist and displacing his internal organs): David... are you getting the liver temp or performing acupuncture? David: Well, his liver's not where it's supposed to be. Do you think this is some kind of birth defect? Grissom (to Sara): What do you think? Sara: I think.... I feel fat.

Catherine: We found your blood in Manny Rupert's apartment, with him lying there dead. If you Belushi'd the guy, maybe you didn't mean to. Now would be the time to say it. Sindee Houston: Hey, I'm the victim here! Catherine: Honey, you don't look dead.

(In Sara's bedroom) Grissom: I dunno. Most people want to die in their sleep, I suppose.... and never know that it is happening. Like a crime scene: 'Surprise! You're dead!'. I'd prefer to know in advance that I was going to die. I'd like to be diagnosed with cancer, actually. Have some time to prepare. Go back to the rainforest one more time, re-read Moby Dick. Possibly enter an international chess tournament. At least have enough time to say goodbye to the people I love. Sara (enters from the bathroom): I'm not ready to say goodbye.

Bobby (about the substance inside of a gun barrel): Hodges will have to verify this, but I believe that is cream of wheat. Grissom: So he's a cereal killer? Bobby: Snap, crackle, pop.

Sara: That's a ... man in a corset. Grissom: Corset-training. A venerable practice. Sara: Maybe for Scarlett O'Hara. Since when was it equal opportunity? Grissom: In Victorian times, it was considered a staple of masculine attire. Students in British boarding schools were encouraged to lose an inch a year from the time they were 14 on. Sara: I guess I should feel comforted that sadistic ideas of beauty aren't restricted to women. Grissom: Mmn. ... It's called a wasp-waist, which is revealing. A wasp is from the insect group hymenoptera. The notion of hymen indicates virginity. In predacious wasps, the genitalia no longer function as a reproductive organ. It's used as a stinger. Sara: Go in for sex and get stung. Pretty much every man's fear. Grissom (gives her a curious look): Mm. The victim was shot, body dumped, clothes burned. Sara: The corset, too. The bone fragments that Nick found at the crime scene were whalebone, which is what they used to make corsets out of. Where did you learn so much about corsets? Grissom: I have my sources.

Mr. Phillipe (referring to the corset): The embroidery is Chinese, silk. The lace is made from hand-tatted linen thread. Ribs are pure whalebone. They don't make them like this anymore. Sara (smiling): I'm sure the whales appreciate that.

Grissom (looking at the victim's body): Where's the head? Nick (with little enthusiasm): I'll find it. (Nick starts looking around, Grissom looks in the area by him and finds a toupe) Grissom: Hey, Nick? Nick: Yeah? Grissom: I think I found a toupé. Our vic may be bald. Nick (sarcastically): Thanks. That will help me distinguish it from the other severed heads I find out here. (Grissom nods and looks at the body. David is just unbuttoning the man's undershirt and opens it to reveal an hour-glass figure) David: Whoa. Grissom: What a waist.

David (with a dead body): Just came from the hospital. (Catherine and Doc Robbins are shocked, thinking the dead body is Brass) Oh, no, traffic fatality. (Catherine and Doc Robbins are relieved)

Super: We got a lot of party people around here. You know, so there's loud music every night, but this dude was pumping tunes at seven in the morning. You know, I knock on the door, I go in, that's when I see the dude all laid out on the bed. Uh, figured I better step out, call in the big guns. That's you. (Catherine doesn't respond to him) Um, listen ... if my good citizenship is not going to be appreciated here, maybe I just don't call the next one in, you know? Catherine: Stay here and shut up. I'll be back to take your prints, assuming they're not already in the system.