Two men are found dead with a common feature: both have been killed using unconventional methods. Meanwhile, $1 million anonymous checks are left around the city by someone known as the Guardian Angel.
Dr. Sid Hammerback
Detective Donald "Don" Flack, Jr.
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes
Josephine "Jo" Danville
Detective Jamie Lovato
Michelle, Adam's girlfriend, is a waitress and musician.
Flack has become a ping-pong fan since he discovered a new place in SoHo two months ago after walking into it on a canvass. He takes Jamie Lovato to play and they kiss for the first time.
The title of this episode refers to the shortcut for the 'print' order to a computer.
Sid has been diagnosed with cancer and hence he has decided to become an anonymous benefactor by giving away $10 million out of his patent income. The beneficiaries are 10 people whose lives took a radical turn for the worse after losing someone who ended up on Sid's autopsy table.
(At the crime scene of an attorney-at-law)
Hawkes: Ouch. That had to hurt.
Jamie Lovato: Not as bad as his bill for his time.
Mac: I'm not seeing any ballistic striae on its surface.
Jamie Lovato: So we're not talking about your average gat.
Mac: No. But whatever it was somebody clearly used it to blow the legal mind of Manny Hinde.
Mac: What kind of cases he was working?
Jamie Lovato: He was counsel to 17 plaintiffs. Six traffic accidents, eight worker comps, two slip-and-falls and a bad lip enhancement. Though I have yet to see a good one.
Danny: Mac's got me poring over Manny Hinde's case files. Which I actually like to call 50 Shades of Sleazebag.
Lindsay: It's better than running ballistics on a bullet with no ballistics.
Danny: How are you supposed to do that?
(After receiving a $1 million check from an anonymous donor)
Rhonda Reynolds: You telling me it wouldn't knock you out cold to have somebody hit you with that kind of lettuce?
(About a mysterious donor who has given $1 million to ten random people)
Danny: (To Lindsay) Can I get a number on this guy? I want to give him our address.
Adam: What kind of person gives that type of coin away to someone they don't even know?
Jo: Somebody who wants to feel good, I would imagine.
Adam: You know, the most free money I ever got was $1.75 in extra change from that vending machine.
Jo: You should give it back.
Jo: All right, let's go work, Adam. You can earn back that snack machine bonus.
Jo: Sometimes the biggest clue is the one that's missing.
Lindsay: So what would you do in that position?
Hawkes: If somebody gave me a million bucks? I'd probably use it to help underprivileged youth.
Hawkes: Or buy a Tesla.
Jo: Looks like a busy day down here.
Sid: That's what I get for taking yesterday off.
Jo: Well, I hope you spent it at least relaxing.
Sid: I think I stopped relaxing during my first year of med school.
Adam: (Over the phone) I miss you more. I do. Well, it is possible. I'm bigger than you, okay? It means I'm physically capable of missing you in larger quantities. It's a scientific fact. It is. Yeah. Ooh. What? Wow. You like that, do you? You like that I'm a scientist? Do you? Yeah? I think it turns you on. Well, maybe I'll come over later and put on my lab coat and...
(Mac clears his throat)
Adam: Oh! Oh. Bye. Oh, God. Uh, you guys are probably wondering why I'm on my phone.
Mac: Yeah, that thought did cross our mind.
Adam: (About Michelle) She's just so beautiful.
Jo: I can see that.
Adam: I know, but have you ever met someone that just makes you completely forget about everything in your life before you met them?
Mac: Stay off your phone and on his. Go through Justin's contacts, calendar, text messages, call records, all of it.
Adam: Yes, sir.
Flack: All we have to go on is a surveillance video they gave us of the freak show outside. Tell you what, you would not catch me dead in a place like the Triborough.
Jamie Lovato: Let me guess. You prefer Irish pubs.
Flack: Why? Because you prefer salsa dancing?
Jamie Lovato: Touche.
Jamie Lovato: What are you into?
Flack: Why, so you can tease me?
Jamie Lovato: No. Come on, I'm curious. I won't bust on you, I promise.
Flack: Okay. But I'm trusting you with this, okay? Two words: ping-pong.
Flack: I will happily reintroduce you to the pleasures of ping-pong unless, of course, you're scared I'm gonna beat you.
Jamie Lovato: I think I can hold my own.
Flack: Oh, all right, then. So, what do you say we go tonight after work? First round's on me.
Jamie Lovato: All right. Yeah. I'm game.
Hawkes: Justin VanderHeyden printed a gun.
Jo: He what?
Hawkes: Yeah. It's called 3-D metal printing, and it works just like any ordinary printer, but instead of using ink to produce an image...
Mac: It uses powdered metals.
Hawkes: Yes. Mixed with steel epoxy resin to create multiple layers of a three-dimensional object.
Jo: Okay, I'm not sure I even want to try to wrap my brain around that.
(After Hawkes prints a working metal gun)
Jo: You've got to be kidding me.
Hawkes: I wish I was. It's your basic .38, printed whole, with all moving parts.
Mac: Guns are dangerous enough in the wrong hands. Now we have to worry about people being able to print them at home.
Hawkes: Without a permit.
Mac: This is one I almost wish you hadn't figured out.
Jo: Well, you know what they say? Every act of creation is an act of destruction.
(About Richard Kemp)
Danny: Oh, so that's the Guardian Angel.
Jo: So he says.
Danny: Yeah, ten million bucks is chump change for that guy.
Adam: Yeah, right? He probably spends that on hair gel.
Danny: B and E, burglary. Just finished a three-year stint for assault with a deadly weapon.
Lindsay: Well, looks like a deadly weapon just assaulted him back. I checked with the E.R. doctor. He has first degree burns on his fingers, multiple lacerations on his face.
Danny: Well, shouldn't be hard to spot once we find him.
Andy Lewis: I don't get out much.
Mac: I'm sure that's true, considering all the time you've spent in lockup.
Jo: Manny Hinde slept with your wife Molly while you were in prison.
Andy Lewis: How the hell do you know that?
Mac: Once we found out who you were, your parole officer was happy to tell us who your wife is. Turns out that Molly had heard one of Hinde's radio commercials, and so, she went to him for one of those quickie divorces right after you got locked up.
Jo: But it turned out to be much more than just a quickie, didn't it?
Justin Vanderheyden: Be careful where you point that.
Andy Lewis: You're telling me to be careful? When you just gave a gold mine to the wrong guy.
Justin Vanderheyden: Wait, what are you talking about?
Andy Lewis: You're a genius, kid. For an idiot (Shoots him dead).
Jo: Your plan kind of... backfired on you, didn't it?
Andy Lewis: That stupid kid. Half-assed gun. That... cheating son of a bitch messing around with my wife. If you ask me... they both had it coming.
Mac: No, Mr. Lewis. But you certainly do.
Jo: What do we do with Justin's printer?
Mac: We'll have it sent over to the Brooklyn University of Science after Lewis is convicted.
Jo: And his software?
Mac: Good or bad, you can't stop ideas. Sooner or later, I'm sure that somebody else will figure out how to print a gun. But until they do, I think we should just keep that info to ourselves.
Jo: If you had a million dollars to spend, would you ever give your money to a total stranger?
Mac: Don't tell me you're caught up in this whole Guardian Angel story. Richard Kemp is about as see-through as the hot air coming out of his mouth.
Mac: You got a bead on the real Guardian Angel?
Mac: Well, you gonna tell me?
Jamie Lovato: What do you say we take it up a notch?
Flack: All right, what do you got in mind?
Jamie Lovato: Best two out of three.
Flack: I'm in. Hold on, hold on, hold on. What does the winner get?
Jamie Lovato: Whatever the winner wants.
Flack: Ooh, I can tell this is gonna get ugly.
Flack: Didn't I tell you that was a good time?
Jamie Lovato: You did. And I didn't believe you. But it was a really nice time.
Flack: Just collecting my winnings.
Jamie Lovato: So... we done playing ping-pong?
Flack: Yeah, we're done playing ping-pong.
Jo: Should I call you the Guardian Angel?
Sid: I should've worn gloves, but I didn't exactly think I was committing a crime.
Jo: Well, you weren't. Still, I couldn't help trying to figure out why you would be giving $10 million of your hard earned patent money to complete and total strangers. Until I realized that all these people had lost someone they loved. Somebody whose autopsies were on your table.
Sid: What are you, a detective or something?
Sid: (About the people he's given the money to) These ten cases, they really stuck with me, Jo, I mean, because their losses only got worse. They... they got pink-slipped or hit with back taxes or had to drop out of school. I just wanted to try and repair some of the damage, you know? 'Cause, I mean, let's face it. That's something people in our business rarely get to do. So I decided to hand-deliver those checks because I wanted to personally hand someone hope. Some kind of joy. Of course, we all deserve that, but trust me, Jo, these folks deserved it so much more.
Sid: More than anything else, I wanted to reassure those people that somebody out there still understands there's always more than one victim in a crime.
Jo: Sid, I can't imagine how you've changed these people's lives.
Jo: But do you really want to give away all your money?
Sid: Well, it's like they always say, you can't take it with you.
Sid: I've been diagnosed with cancer. Yeah, non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, to be exact.
Jo: What's the prognosis?
Sid: Oh, you know doctors. They've all got their opinion. But, you know, we've all got an expiration date, right? Whether it's tomorrow or ten years from now. It's what we do before then that matters. That's why I gave the money to those people, Jo. I mean, most of us aren't around to see what happens to the inheritance that we leave behind. I want to know what kind of difference I've made.
Jo: Are you in any pain?
Sid: Not really. But if there comes a time when I can't do my job, I won't hesitate to step aside. Just please, please let it be on my own terms.
Jo: I promise. Promise me you're not telling me goodbye.
Sid: No. Are you kidding me? I've got way too much work to do. No, this is only... good night.
That's Life by Frank Sinatra (Beginning of the episode).
Gun by Emiliana Torrini (Jo checks Mauricio Flores' background and Sid performs Justin Vanderheyden's autopsy).
Jeff Branson, who plays Andy Stein, also appears in the CSI: Miami episode Blood Lust and in the C.S.I. one In Vino Veritas.
Tyson Turrou, who plays Mauricio Flores, also appears in the CSI: Miami episode Spring Break.
Roy Abramsohn, who plays Male Reporter, also appears in the C.S.I. episode Tell-Tale Hearts.
Original International Air Dates:
Canada: January 4, 2013 on CTV.
Czech Republic: March 13, 2013 on AXN.
Norway: May 1, 2013 on TVNorge.
Jo: You ever see the movie North by Northwest, Mr. Lewis?
North By Northwest is a 1959 Alfred Hitchcock's movie.
Danny: Mac's got me poring over Manny Hinde's case files. Which I actually like to call 50 Shades of Sleazebag.
It is a play on words referring to E.L. James' 2011 erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey.
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