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Flack: Your apartment belongs to a Michael Jones. This, however, is not Michael Jones. The neighbors know him only as Scooby.
Mac: Scooby.
Hawkes: Dooby Doo.
Mac: So where's Michael Jones?
Flack: Probably up at the haunted house pulling the mask off of old man Withers.
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Petrix: I'll give you the cheap-suit discount.
(Flack snaps and shoves him off the swing)
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Mac: You're a good friend, Stella Bonasera.
Stella: And don't you forget that.
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Mac: (To Adam) You're not going anywhere; I'll take care of this. Go back to work.
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Petrix: Well then I'd have to thank the murder, police and the cleaning crew. Was always nice enough to clean up after we do what we gotta do.
Danny: Just a matter of time before you're mopping up the floors at Rikers, Petrix.
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Danny: What's the deal with your funny money?
Hawkes: The value of the fake dollar just went up.
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Jake Donovan: You'll have to excuse the mess, we just had the place fumigated. (spots a cockroach and squashes it with his briefcase) Clearly, they did a bang up job. But uh, I guess it's just as well, we come from the same species right? What, you don't like lawyer jokes?
Mac: I don't like lawyers.
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Hawkes: Looks like he had money to burn. Marijuana joints were rolled with one of the board game bills.
Mac: Only there's no board game.
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Adam: (rapidly) Was it, um, the paper airplanes? Or-or the-the dancing? It was the dancing wasn't it? I mean I don't-I don't have to dance. And look I know I say "what-what" and I'll definitely look at the number of times that I say it but you just need to tell me boss what I need to do and what I don't need to do and I'll do it or I won't do it but you know 'cause this-
Mac: Adam, Adam. Take a breath.
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Jake Donovan: Is this how you always try to get information out of somebody?
Mac: No. Usually I'm a lot less charming.
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Adam: (looking at evidence bag of broken glass) Uh, how many more do you got of these?
Danny: Just five...large boxes.
Adam: Awesome. Just out of curiosity, what are you gonna be doing during this?
Danny: (pulls out two evidence bags containing guns, one after another) Bang. Bang.
Adam: I never get to play with guns.
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Adam: You don't happen to know anyone that's looking for a dedicated yet quirky yet devastatingly handsome lab geek do ya?
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Lindsay: I've had some bad sex but nothing that would warrant killing the guy.
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Danny: So the night's not a total bust. But I still have to deal with this (looks at many broken bottles and glasses all over the floor). Perp's DNA and fingerprints could be right in front of us.
Angell: It's moments like this that I love that I'm not a lab rat.
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Danny: Pill popping whack job split with the murder weapon.
Angell: How do you know the person who has it pops pills?
Danny: How do you know he doesn't?
Angell: Because he is a she (holds up gun in an evidence bag) and I am clean as a whistle. Who's got it on me?
(hands gun in bag to Danny)
Danny: Nobody.
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Stella: This is precisely why your mother tells you to wear clean underwear.
Lindsay: Why does anybody need their mother to tell them that? Is everybody running around wearing dirty underwear?