Jo: (About Greg Barbera, who has been found dead after falling down 130 steps) This kid took one hell of a fall.
Flack: The question is: was he pushed?
Mac: Looks like we'll have to back up a few steps to figure that out.

Mac: We still don't know whether his death was an accident or murder.
Hawkes: No. But judging by the shape that this kid is in, if I still had Sid's job and had to answer that question, I'd probably take the day off, too.

Lindsay: The purple wad that you found? It's violet-flavored gum.
Jo: Violet flavor? Like the flower?
Lindsay: Yep. Makes for a nice bubble bath, but I don't think I'd want to chew it.

Christine: (answering the phone) Hello, Mac Taylor.
Mac: Christine, did I get you at a bad time?
Christine: No, perfect, actually. How do I murder a produce guy and get away with it?
Mac: Well, you could always hit him over the head with a coconut, but you'd be better off using that for a piña colada.
Christine: Yeah. Point very well taken. Besides, overpriced coconuts probably warrant something closer to a misdemeanour rather than a full-blown felony, right?

Flack: (To Scott Perdito after falling down a fire escape when accused of pushing Greg Barbera down some stairs) Karma's a bitch.

Scott Perfito: I should be in a hospital resting.
Mac: They already gave you a clean bill of health and released you into our custody, Mr. Perfito.
Scott Perfito: Well, my arm still hurts and my head hurts, too.
Flack: How about your pride?

Danny: (About a man found dead pinned to a tree by an arrow) Vic's name is Jimmy Philbrook. He was spotted by a group of lnwood Hill nature enthusiasts. I'm thinking they're probably not so enthusiastic anymore.

Danny: Climbed a lot of trees back in Montana, didn't you?
Lindsay: Damn straight, city boy.
Danny: Was that before or after you started cow tipping?
Lindsay: (Fakes a laughter) Wow!
Danny: What?
Lindsay: (Pretending) Is that a snake?
Danny: (Jumping out of his skin) Where? What?

Jo: When it comes to crime, there are no coincidences.

Jo: Sid, you've been absent from work all week.
Sid: Oh, well...
Jo: You're sweating like a pig. You've been rubbing your palms together like you're trying to start a fire. And you've done that little thing with your glasses about a half dozen times since I walked in here. It's Profiling 101. You're a nervous wreck. Come on, tell me what's going on.
Sid: Uh, no, my, uh, attorneys and accountants told me not to say anything.
Jo: Well... with all due respect, Sid, your attorneys and your accountants aren't your friends.

Sid: (About the Hammerback Sleeper) It was purchased by a Japanese firm. Apparently, they're going to market it as an anti-snoring pillow.
Jo: Anti-snoring, huh? God, I could've used that with my ex-husband. I would've paid dearly for that.

Jo: Sid, are you okay?
Sid: Uh... actually, no. I'm, um... incredible. Jo, they bought my patent... for $27 million.
Jo: What?
Sid: I'm a very rich man and... and I have no idea what to do about it.

Flack: I told my guys to be on the lookout for bright orange zip ties, you can imagine some of the witty responses I got.

Flack: All due respect to her zip tie cacti, what I find most interesting is the address on her permit.

Flack: That's the craziest thing I've ever heard but it actually makes sense.
Mac: One crime leads to another.
Hawkes: And another.
Danny: And another.
Lindsay: And another.
Jo: And that, ladies and gentlemen, is known as the Ripple Effect.