The Wire

Season 1, Episode 6, Aired

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Needing to get their neighbors' approval to bury a wire hanging across their yard, Larry and Cheryl come across one couple with a non-negotiable demand: a meet-and-greet with Julia Louis-Dreyfus. But when the lawyer husband has to do last minute work for Jeff, things quickly fall apart.moreless
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      • Larry: What's the guy, four years old? He's got to meet Julia Louis-Dreyfus! What kind of person is that?! Cheryl: He's a fan. Larry: What does he expect to gain from such meeting? What does he think, he's gonna go over there, she's gonna be so charmed by him that all of a sudden they'll start becoming friends? They'll talk on the phone and go out to dinner together, go to the movies? What, start e-mailing each other—summer vacations? Is he out of his fucking mind?!

      • Larry: (on Jerry Seinfeld) He's a eunuch. Yes, his testicles were cut of when he was about 13 because he was in the Beth Shalom choir. And that's what he wanted to be, he was a choirboy. Phyliss: Julia, is that true? Does he really have no testicles? Julia: You know, I've got to tell you, I don't have any fuckin' idea.

      • Susie: (to Jeff) You weren't even thinking. Do you know why? 'Cause you're a fat, fucking asshole!

      • Phyliss: I'm finally in the house that Jerry Seinfeld built! Larry: With his own hands, and some hammers, he actually worked on it, like Jimmy Carter.

      • Jeff: Pyro's a bad maniac.

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