Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 1 Episode 6

Larry: What's the guy, four years old? He's got to meet Julia Louis-Dreyfus! What kind of person is that?!
Cheryl: He's a fan.
Larry: What does he expect to gain from such meeting? What does he think, he's gonna go over there, she's gonna be so charmed by him that all of a sudden they'll start becoming friends? They'll talk on the phone and go out to dinner together, go to the movies? What, start e-mailing each other—summer vacations? Is he out of his fucking mind?!

Larry: (on Jerry Seinfeld) He's a eunuch. Yes, his testicles were cut of when he was about 13 because he was in the Beth Shalom choir. And that's what he wanted to be, he was a choirboy.
Phyliss: Julia, is that true? Does he really have no testicles?
Julia: You know, I've got to tell you, I don't have any fuckin' idea.

Susie: (to Jeff) You weren't even thinking. Do you know why? 'Cause you're a fat, fucking asshole!

Phyliss: I'm finally in the house that Jerry Seinfeld built!
Larry: With his own hands, and some hammers, he actually worked on it, like Jimmy Carter.

Jeff: Pyro's a bad maniac.