Da Ali G Show

Borat: Does your wife make this much noise? Person: No, well not this much. Borat: Well what do you feed her that she makes so little noise? Person: Normal stuff.

Ali G: Do you even know what leap year means? Person: Yes Ali G: It is every 5 years when... Person: 4 years. Ali G: Well maybe here, but not in my country.

Ali G: Who is that? (Ali G points to a statue of someone's head) Person: John Paul Jones. Ali G: Wouldn't it be hard to do stuff without any arms or legs?

Man: Well the constitution hasn't been pregnant yet.

Bruno: Why do you think that hunting is the number one thing for gay guys right now? Person: I don't know. I don't know any gay guys. I'm not gay. Bruno: Why are you denying it?

Ali G: There was two guys in my school that were almost exactly the same. They had the same hair colour and same eye colour and they were even born on the same day. Are they clones? Person: No there identical twins.

(talking about dandruff) Ali G: How can I catch this disease?

Bruno: Is he looking at me? Man: No, his back is to you. Bruno: Oh, he's playing hard to get.

Ali G: For young people out there who can't afford a condom, do you recommend a Dorito's bag?

Ali G: So it's almost impossible? Woman: It's almost impossible. Ali G: I told you Julie, it wasn't mine.

Borat: Why is this bedroom so big? Person: This room is for the husband and the wife. Borat: What about the cage for the wife.

Borat: If another of my wives die, can I bury her here? Person: No. Borat: Can I burn her then?

Ali G: Did they do a lot of wind surfing back then? Person: They didn't have wind sufing yet. Ali G: Is that because they didn't invent wind yet?

Ali G: I'm off to somewhere to do something about history.

Ali G: How involved was Moses in the constitution.

Ali G: What's that? Woman: It's a condom. I'm sure you've seen one of those. Ali G: Actually I haven't.

Bruno: Is there a room with no windows and a metal door? Person: No. All of our rooms have windows. Bruno: Oh, because I need a room for my brother.

Ali G: What day do you hold the fourth of July on?

Ali G: Let's talk about doctor's. Do you think they have the right to kill old people?

Ali G: Well if you could clone foxxy brown, I bet you wouldn't say no to that.