Da Ali G Show

Season 2 Episode 6

Realness

1
Aired Friday 12:30 AM Aug 22, 2004 on HBO
8.9
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Episode Summary

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In the final episode, Ali G finds relationship advice from John Gray, author of Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus. He then takes his new found knowledge to a pro-choice march in Washington D.C. Borat learns about the U.S. job market, as well as the ethics involved. Ali G gets an exclusive interview with Charles Schultze and appropriately rounds out the series with a last word from the opinionated Andy Rooney of 60 Minutes.moreless

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (32)

      • Andy Runey: Ok, that's enough.I can't do this. I can't do this.
        Ali G: Why not?
        Andy Runey: It's not going good.
        Ali G: Is it because I is black?
        Andy Runey: You're black?
        Ali G: For real.
        Andy Runey: Who's black.
        Ali G: Yo, I is.
        Andy Runey: No. I just can't do this. I don't have time for this.
        Ali G: You has been rude to me since the first moment.
        Andy Runey: Sorry. I'm sorry.
        Ali G: Telling me I don't speak english.
        Andy Runey: Well, alright.
        Ali G: He's being rude. That's quite racialist to be honest.
        Andy Runey: It's racist, not racialist.
        Ali G: Whatever, it's racialist. Keep the camera's rolling because this is racialism that's going on right here. He's chucking me out because of the colour of me skin.

      • Andy Runey: How do know tomorrow's news if it hasn't happened yet?
        Ali G: If there was something well important like a plane crash. Wouldn't you print that a day early?
        Andy Runey: How would you report a plane crash tomorrow, today?

      • Ali G: Has journalists ever put out tomorrow's new by mistake?

      • Ali G: Does you think the media has changed since you first got in it?
        Person: Does you think the media has changed? Do you think the media has changed.
        Ali G: Whatever. Does...
        Person: Well it's english. The english language would say do you think the media has changed not does you think the media has changed. Yes I think the media has changed.

      • Person: So what language are you most comfortable with?
        Ali G: Yo english. For real, I is from England.

      • Bruno: Welcome and here I am in Daytona Beach where all the great guys in the USA come to be gay.
        (a couple people cheer)

      • Ali G: What is the bestest pin number? Is it your house number or your birthday?

      • Ali G: What is a pin number?

      • Person: I'm talking about the stock. If the price is high.
        Ali G: Oh, so you shouldn't be high when you sell it.

      • Person: The lower you buy it and the higher you sell it, the more money you make.
        Ali G: But ain't the problem with selling things when you is high is that you get really bad deals. Like one time, when I was high, I sold my car for like 24 chicken mcnuggets. Ain't it wrong to do that?

      • Person: I have a good toy and I want to sell i....
        Ali G: What is it?
        Person: Any toy. I'm just giving you an example.
        Ali G: Is it one of them robot dogs?
        Person: Yeah, let's say it is.
        Ali G: They is have that already.

      • Person: When you go to a store and you have a fifty-two dollar and sixty-four cent bill in your pocket right.
        Ali G: Well it's just a dream at the moment.
        Person: Well suppose you did, and it turns out that you got the thing and it was not fifty-two dollar and sixty-four cents, but fifty-two dollar and sixty-five cents. What would you do?
        Ali G: You will use the fifty-two dollar and sixty-five cents bill.

      • Ali G: Wouldn't it be better, instead of having like a five dollar bill and a ten dollar bill. Having like a five dollar, forty-four bill and like a sixteen dollar, eighty-nine bill and like a twenty-two dollar, eleven bill and like a five dollar, forty-four, no wait I is done that already. Like a one hundred and eighty-two thousand dollar, two-hundred and fifty million bill? That way you wouldn't have to carry any spare change.

      • Ali G: Yo, check it, I is here with Dr. Shooks. Him was economics advisor to president Carter and also to president Johnson...who was a guy.

      • Ali G: He was the budget director for Lindy Johnson and she was the president.
        Person: Nope. It's a he and it's Linden.

      • Borat: If I work here, can I work in a room with a light?
        Person: Yes, everybody will get a light.
        Borat: Great, success!

      • Borat: Do you have woman that work here?
        Person: Yes we do.
        Borat: Do they have nice physiques?
        Person: Yes, but I have to work with you on that because in our work force, in the United States, everyone is looked upon as equals as far as man and woman.
        Borat: What?!

      • Person: Do you think you are the type of person that can work well with other people?
        Borat: Yes, I am really good work with other people and I want you to know that I can sniff out, if there is a traitor in the company, and if I find them, I can finish them.

      • Person: What would your boss at your last job, if I called him up, what would he say about you?
        Borat: He would say bad things, but that is because he is a liar.

      • Person: What other jobs have you done?
        Borat: When I was in Kazakhstan I was a make ice. I was a gypsy catcher. Also I worked with animals.

      • Borat: There are many job opportunities in the US and A. For men, construction worker, taxi driver or accountant. For woman, prostitute.

      • Person: Personally I would like to wait until I was married before I have sex.
        Ali G: Is you married?
        Person: No, I'm not.
        Ali G: So is you a virgin?
        Person: Yes.
        Ali G (laughing): I don't mean to laugh, but you're joking?
        Person: No.
        Ali G: This is going on the teley you know.
        Person: Great.

      • Ali G: So let's get this striaght. You is protesting to make abortions cheaper.

      • (talking to a religious person)
        Ali G: So you never got a ho pregnant?

      • Ali G: Are you very anti-abortion because you yourself, was aborted?

      • Ali G: Have you ever had an abortion?
        Person: No. I've never had an abortion.
        Ali G: Surely you should try something before you say it is bad. I mean I was like very, very anti burger king, but then me went there and me tried the flame grilled whopper it was like amazing.

      • Person: What is your opinion on abortion?
        Ali G: I love them. I am responsible for at least five.

      • Woman: We're a couple.
        Ali G: A couple of les's?
        (they nod)
        Ali G: Respect, yo. Total...total respect, yo. Wicked yo. That's...I love lesbians. Yo, wicked. Yo, respect. Respect, you know...you know I love it. I got a lot of your videos and everything. It's wicked.

      • Ali G: It's like with me Julie. Me know there's definitly someone better.

      • Ali G: How come in some religions it's alright to have more then one wife? Like the morons, you know. I mean sometimes I wish I was a moron.
        John Gray: It's actually called the mormans.

      • Ali G: Sex can lead to some terrible things. Herpes, squat rock or even worse. Something called a relationship.

      • Intro:
        Ali G: Keep it Real.

    • NOTES (1)

      • For this entire season, the show was nominated at the 2005 Emmy Awards for Oustanding Variety, Music Or Comedy Series, and, for Oustanding Writing For A Variety, Music Or Comedy Series.

    • ALLUSIONS (0)

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