Da Ali G Show

Andy Runey: How do know tomorrow's news if it hasn't happened yet? Ali G: If there was something well important like a plane crash. Wouldn't you print that a day early? Andy Runey: How would you report a plane crash tomorrow, today?

Ali G: Has journalists ever put out tomorrow's new by mistake?

Ali G: Does you think the media has changed since you first got in it? Person: Does you think the media has changed? Do you think the media has changed. Ali G: Whatever. Does... Person: Well it's english. The english language would say do you think the media has changed not does you think the media has changed. Yes I think the media has changed.

Person: So what language are you most comfortable with? Ali G: Yo english. For real, I is from England.

Bruno: Welcome and here I am in Daytona Beach where all the great guys in the USA come to be gay. (a couple people cheer)

Ali G: What is the bestest pin number? Is it your house number or your birthday?

Ali G: What is a pin number?

Person: I'm talking about the stock. If the price is high. Ali G: Oh, so you shouldn't be high when you sell it.

Person: The lower you buy it and the higher you sell it, the more money you make. Ali G: But ain't the problem with selling things when you is high is that you get really bad deals. Like one time, when I was high, I sold my car for like 24 chicken mcnuggets. Ain't it wrong to do that?

Person: I have a good toy and I want to sell i.... Ali G: What is it? Person: Any toy. I'm just giving you an example. Ali G: Is it one of them robot dogs? Person: Yeah, let's say it is. Ali G: They is have that already.

Person: When you go to a store and you have a fifty-two dollar and sixty-four cent bill in your pocket right. Ali G: Well it's just a dream at the moment. Person: Well suppose you did, and it turns out that you got the thing and it was not fifty-two dollar and sixty-four cents, but fifty-two dollar and sixty-five cents. What would you do? Ali G: You will use the fifty-two dollar and sixty-five cents bill.

Ali G: Wouldn't it be better, instead of having like a five dollar bill and a ten dollar bill. Having like a five dollar, forty-four bill and like a sixteen dollar, eighty-nine bill and like a twenty-two dollar, eleven bill and like a five dollar, forty-four, no wait I is done that already. Like a one hundred and eighty-two thousand dollar, two-hundred and fifty million bill? That way you wouldn't have to carry any spare change.

Ali G: Yo, check it, I is here with Dr. Shooks. Him was economics advisor to president Carter and also to president Johnson...who was a guy.

Ali G: He was the budget director for Lindy Johnson and she was the president. Person: Nope. It's a he and it's Linden.

Borat: If I work here, can I work in a room with a light? Person: Yes, everybody will get a light. Borat: Great, success!

Borat: Do you have woman that work here? Person: Yes we do. Borat: Do they have nice physiques? Person: Yes, but I have to work with you on that because in our work force, in the United States, everyone is looked upon as equals as far as man and woman. Borat: What?!

Person: Do you think you are the type of person that can work well with other people? Borat: Yes, I am really good work with other people and I want you to know that I can sniff out, if there is a traitor in the company, and if I find them, I can finish them.

Person: What would your boss at your last job, if I called him up, what would he say about you? Borat: He would say bad things, but that is because he is a liar.

Person: What other jobs have you done? Borat: When I was in Kazakhstan I was a make ice. I was a gypsy catcher. Also I worked with animals.

Borat: There are many job opportunities in the US and A. For men, construction worker, taxi driver or accountant. For woman, prostitute.

Person: Personally I would like to wait until I was married before I have sex. Ali G: Is you married? Person: No, I'm not. Ali G: So is you a virgin? Person: Yes. Ali G (laughing): I don't mean to laugh, but you're joking? Person: No. Ali G: This is going on the teley you know. Person: Great.

Ali G: So let's get this striaght. You is protesting to make abortions cheaper.

(talking to a religious person) Ali G: So you never got a ho pregnant?

Ali G: Are you very anti-abortion because you yourself, was aborted?

Ali G: Have you ever had an abortion? Person: No. I've never had an abortion. Ali G: Surely you should try something before you say it is bad. I mean I was like very, very anti burger king, but then me went there and me tried the flame grilled whopper it was like amazing.

Person: What is your opinion on abortion? Ali G: I love them. I am responsible for at least five.

Woman: We're a couple. Ali G: A couple of les's? (they nod) Ali G: Respect, yo. Total...total respect, yo. Wicked yo. That's...I love lesbians. Yo, wicked. Yo, respect. Respect, you know...you know I love it. I got a lot of your videos and everything. It's wicked.

Ali G: It's like with me Julie. Me know there's definitly someone better.

Ali G: How come in some religions it's alright to have more then one wife? Like the morons, you know. I mean sometimes I wish I was a moron. John Gray: It's actually called the mormans.

Ali G: Sex can lead to some terrible things. Herpes, squat rock or even worse. Something called a relationship.