(Captain Mainwaring gives a lesson on unarmed combat.)
Frazer: This jabbing in the eyes business. What happens if he's wearing specs like him?
Mainwaring: That's a good question. The chaps in Whitehall who wrote this manual, have thought of that and have come up with a very smart alternative. They recommend that you shove your index and second fingers up the assailant's nostrils. It's not a pleasant business, but this is war.
Jones: My morale's all shattered, sir. I tried to keep it from the men, but what can you do with a shattered morale, sir?
Mainwaring: I'm terribly sorry. I feel entirely responsible.
Jones: No, sir, it's not you, sir. It's all the women. They come in the shop trying to get a bit on the side, sir. I'd like to oblige them, but I can't.