Dallas

Cally: Just tell me what Marilee meant? J.R.: Oh, she's just trying to get back at me, honey. She tried to seduce me with her fading charms and I... I turned her down flat. Hell, I wouldn't share a swimming hole with her, much less a bed.

J.R.: Now, Cally, you're developing a bad case of sexual jealousy. And I'm getting a little tired of you seeing a mistress behind every tree. Cally: It's not that I don't trust you, J.R. J.R.: Monogamy is not exactly second nature to me, so I want full credit for my efforts.

Sly: Excuse me. Uh, what are you doing here? James: Well, actually I was wondering what a "Sly Lovegren" would look like. Sly: Oh, were you? James: Yeah. I thought, "It must take a very unusual woman to use that name." But then I looked around the office and I said, "Now what other kind of woman would be J.R. Ewing's assistant?"

Michelle: What's really so bad about Cliff? J.R.: Ha ha, you look up the word "cheap" in the dictionary, you'll see his picture there, honey. Michelle: He can't be that bad. After all, he's rich. J.R.: If he ever gives you any jewelry, you ask to see the Cracker Jack box it comes in.

April: Have you slept with her yet? Cliff: What? April: You heard me. Cliff: I have taken her to dinner a couple times. That's none of your business. April: Spoken like a man whose brains have moved south of his belt buckle.

Marilee: What's going on? J.R.: Oh, I'm so sorry to leave you high and not-so-dry, Marilee, but I got some... I got some celebrating to do, honey. (Laughing) Oh, and by the way, darlin', you're a little bit too old to go running around without your clothes on.

Tracey: Not a tear for Tommy? Not a hug for me? Don't you dare turn back into the old Carter McKay!

Bobby: J.R., I'm going to cancel my appointments for Thursday. I'm going to Tommy McKay's funeral. J.R.: You really are a saint, aren't you? Going to the funeral of the man who tried to kill you, I tell you. Bobby: I just thought it might help smooth things over. Wouldn't be a bad idea if you showed up. J.R.: Well, I cut some of my best deals at funerals. Alright.

J.R.: I'm having just a little difficulty transferring my funds. It seems that my Swiss banks don't understand how fast we work here in the United States. Shaughnessy: Just write the check, Ewing. J.R.: Uh huh, well, Shaughnessy, just when did you graduate from charm school?

Cally: Well, I just don't care for women who use their bodies to trick men. J.R.: You mean, like pretending to be pregnant to get a man to the altar? Cally: Well, that's not the same thing. J.R.: Doesn't miss it by far.