So, the midget gets to have a major role on this episode. Jock's having a birthday party and, all-of-a-sudden-my-ass!- Alan Beam shows up with a friend and their respective girlfriends and "fights" with J.R. again. The Midget tries to talk to this handsome Basher of the Bad People Everywhere, but J.R. makes sure she doesn't. The fight, of course, is on the next morning's newspaper. The Midget doesn't give up, though, so she goes over to Cliff Barnes' election centre and manages to get a date with Alan Beam. And she's so happy about it, you know? Then, she tricks her Granddaddy (who has her grounded due to 33333333333333333333333333333333 Parking Tickets) and goes on that fabulous date with Alan.
Why is a 19-year-old grounded... by her Grandpa?
Anyway, the date goes smoothly and, the other day, The Midget follows Alan around anywhere he might be going, in order to surprise him. And, now, for the second surprise of the Episode, she sees him meet J.R. and oh what hatred and feiry she has! So, she visits Alan in his apartment (while his girlfriend is inside the apartment) and tells him that she wants nothing more to do with him. Alan calls J.R. and tells him what happened and J.R. manages to make The Midget believe that he was only trying to make a truce with Alan, and his efforts were not succesful. Is she stupid? Then, Alan breaks up with his girlfriend because he can't pass up the chance of marrying the lovely Mrs. Midget. And, then, the lady cries. In the very first Dallas-Soap-Style Tears that come in the 200ml, 300ml and 560ml bottles.
Meanwhile, Bobby tells Pam that her brother has their hands tied up. But, later, Pammy finds out (from Cliff) that Ewing Oil is drilling in Southeast Asia, which is strange because it takes a lot of money, and the Ewing's supposedly have none. Pam confronts Bobby, accusing him of lying to her and he, of course, is absolutely shocked, and he starts searching and searching and searching (no, he didn't need Sherlock Holmes for this) and he finds out the truth. He confronts J.R. Ah, what a wonderful world....
As the episode ends, Alan finds The Midget in campus (telling her he convinced the Principal to tell him where The Midget is--yeah, riiiiiiiiiiiiiight!) and they decide to talk. Cut to a motel room, both Alan (REALLY hairy chest!) and The Midget are naked. So much for talking. Mr. Beasty-Chest is all promises, while The Midget is smiling, satisfied. He probably gave her a REAL good orgasm. How STUPID can she be?
Dum, Dum, Duuuuuuuuummmmmmmm......
See ya next time!moreless
