Dallas

Sue Ellen: Being married to J.R. is like a Hitchcock film. You start out laughing and then you find yourself screaming in terror.

Sue Ellen: I'm glad you're here. This is an important room for you to see. Lockwood: The famous J.R. Ewing bedroom, hmm? Sue Ellen: Next to the Alamo, it's one of the great battlegrounds of Texas.

Sue Ellen: Have you done "Something Old, Something New" yet? Lucy: Oh, we're right in the middle of it. Sue Ellen: Because I want to give Cally something old. Lucy: You've already done that. You've given her J.R.

J.R.: What's with the Lockwood fella? Sue Ellen: He's a man with charm, sensitivity and class. In short, your exact opposite. J.R.: That does it, Sue Ellen. Why don't you ask the parking attendant to fetch your broom? You can just fly on home.

J.R.: Well, I guess the weatherman was right. The first storm just blew in. Sue Ellen: Heh! Don't worry, J.R., I won't rain on your parade. Don Lockwood, the one and only J.R. Ewing. Lockwood: Congratulations on your wedding. I hope you'll be very happy together. J.R.: Well, thank you. Can't help but be a vast improvement over my last wife.

Lucy: Anyhow, it's bad luck to get married at Southfork. Miss Ellie: Lucy! Lucy: Name one marriage that started here and ended happily ever after. Miss Ellie: Well, I think Clayton would say we're very happy. Clayton: I surely would. Lucy: Alright, name two. Bobby: Lucy, I'm not sure this is the best conversation for right now. Lucy: Well, I don't know about y'all, but if I ever get married again, I'll be saying my vows at the nearest Moose Lodge. Much safer.