-
Dalziel: (To Pascoe) You've got a face on you. Like a bull terrier with hemorrhoids.
-
(Dalziel and Pascoe are in a restaurant)
Pascoe: This isn't your kind of place.
Dalziel: Too bloody true, but it's your kind of place, isn't it. Spicer's on her way, I thought we could have your birthday do here, on me. So how old are ya?
Pascoe: Ancient.
Dalziel: (Looks at menu and price) Bloody hell!
Pascoe: Told you.
-
PC Baines: The victim is Mrs Jean Hamilton.
Dalziel: Is there a Mr Hamilton?
PC Baines: There is but he's not here.
Dalziel: Doors and windows?
PC Baines: No sign of forced entry. A do-it-yourself divorce?
Dalziel: Nine times out of ten.
(Goes inside house)
Dalziel: Who's this then?
PC Baines: Friends of the victim. They found the body.
Dalziel: Happy Halloween.
-
(Dalziel is smoking one cigarette after the other during a briefing with Spicer and Pascoe).
Spicer: Sorry sir, but you know, that since Monday you're not allowed to smoke in this building.
(Pause. Then Dalziel carries on as if she hasn't spoken).
Dalziel: If we assume...
-
(Some trick or treaters ring a doorbell to a house, Dalziel answers the door with a monster noise and holding a bowl of sweets, the children run away scared).
Dalziel: Oi, I've got humbugs, sweeties and fruit Juices!