Dan For Mayor

Season 2 Episode 6

Insane In The Bike Lane

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Aired Monday 8:30 PM Jul 10, 2011 on CTV
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Insane In The Bike Lane
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With bike lanes being a point of contention in many cities, Dan decides to open up bike lanes in Wessex, then finds that the issue is one that follows him home when Claire insists that he also allow roller-bladers to use the lanes. Fern forgets to renew the liquor licence for the bar, and decides not to let Jeff know about his little mistake.moreless

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    • QUOTES (11)


      • (explaining his purchase of a new bike and helmet)
        Dan: Just think how safe and attractive I'll be.
        Claire: I guess if it makes you safe.
        Dan: And attractive. As Mayor, you know, for the big press conference. Me and my baby, riding down the street together... being all active.

        Claire: Yeah, but I don't have a bike.
        Dan: Oh, good idea! We could get you one, then you could ride beside me and my baby! Uh, bike!


      • (explaining why he served beer to boy adventurers)
        Fern: They were in uniform! I thought they were in the service.
        Jeff: You've got to fix this.
        Fern: We could change the name of the bar to "Farn's"... they'll never know. Guess I'll have to change my name too.


      • Dan: Alan! Is this your car parked in the bike lane?
        Alan: Oh, that's the bike lane! I thought it was handicapped parking.


      • Dan: I don't think we're going to make separate lanes; it's expensive. And, no offence, but blading's kind of a fringe sport.
        Mike: Keep calling us names, Bikey-boy, we've got thick skin. We also live hard, and love harder. Claire knows.
        Claire: You never bladed when we were dating.
        Mike: That's 'cause the beast had yet to be awoken within. But now that he's out, he's out for good, and he wants him some bladin' lanes!


      • Fern: Oh, I didn't know you were in prison.
        Mike: Hm? No, no, these are our blading club jerseys.
        Fern: Oh! (reading the shirt) "It is where it's at".
        Mike: No, it's "I. T."
        Fern: Oh. "I. T. is where I. T.'s at".
        Mike: No, only one of them is "I. T."
        Fern: "It is where I. T.'s at."
        Mike: "I. T. is where it's at!"
        Fern: And what does "a.t." stand for?
        Dan: Hey guys!
        Fern: Don't read their shirts.


      • Alan: Good news! The bicycle lanes are actually popular. Your approval rating's high. Your bike's approval rating's even higher!
        Dan: Yeah, Claire's not so crazy about it, but, yeah, it doesn't matter; she's so beautiful.
        Jeff: The bike, or Claire?


      • (Mike is in a wheelchair)
        Dan: Look, the city is behind bike lanes; key word: bikes. Key word, bikes like mine; they love my bike! You and your eight-wheeled freak show don't stand a chance.
        Mike: I've got 10 wheels now, Dan, 12 if you include these little ones on the front.
        Dan: (noticing Mike's roller blades) You still have those on?
        Mike: Oh, you're going to have to unbuckle, then un-velcro, them from my cold, dead feet!


      • Customer: Hey, scotch, please!
        Fern: Uhhhh, sorry, it's all finished.
        Customer: Okay, how about a rye?
        Fern: Um, that's finished too.
        Customer: Any dark liquor at all?
        Fern: I've been drinking since 7, it's all gone. How about a Caesar?


      • Claire: Mike is really hurt!
        Dan: Yeah, but he's never going to get better unless we pretend that he's not.


      • Fern: See that guy there? I've been serving him every day for 25 years. We smoked a cigar the night his son was born. We held the wake for his father in here. And I just served him a squirt of toothpaste in a Coke.
        Jeff: Oh, you didn't use real Coke, did you? There's a case of no-name in the back!


      • Dan: Look, I know you're faking your injuries.
        Mike: Oh, what? 'Cause Claire saw me on an adrenaline high, jacking in my office? (they all look at him, puzzled) No, that's not what it's called... you know, that thing you do when you're a teenager. (Alan laughs) You know, with your gym teacher, your hands and your feet.
        Jeff: Wow.

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