Dan For Mayor

Season 2 Episode 7

The Art Of Gambling

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Aired Monday 8:30 PM Jul 17, 2011 on CTV
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The Art Of Gambling
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Trying to improve tourism in Wessex, Dan tries to have his city included on the new Art Trail, but finds that there just isn't enough art in Wessex for it to qualify; he tries to fix the situation by having a sculpture commissioned. Fern's Bar gets into the video lottery terminal game, and the customers and employees alike find it addictive. Claire has a line on a new job: doing PR for an anti-gambling campaign, putting her squarely in opposition to the gang at Fern's.moreless

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    • QUOTES (13)


      • Dan: What do you know about art?
        Alan: Oh, I know a little. I did some naked modelling in college.
        Dan: Oh, I guess that's one way to make some money.
        Alan: That's funny; I paid them.


      • Alan: If every other town fell off a lucrative tourism bridge and landed in a pile of cash, I suppose you'd want to do that too.
        Dan: Yeah!


      • Dan: Seriously, though, you modelled naked in college?
        Alan: Yeah, all the time. They used to call me the wrinkly...
        Dan: Please don't finish that sentence.
        Alan: No, that's it; they just called me the wrinkly...


      • Fern: So, are VLT's, like, legal?
        Jeff: Yup.
        Fern: And they make a lot of money?
        Jeff: Yup.
        Fern: And they ruin people's lives?
        Jeff: Yup.
        Fern: Gotta have one!
        Jeff: No! I did not get into the business of selling alcohol to people to ruin lives.


      • Dan: I want to meet with Lenny-Man, and I want to meet with the guy that runs the Art Trail.
        Alan: Okay; any chance you'll need me to do some nude modelling?
        Dan: No.
        Alan: Too bad, those were the best days of my life.
        Dan: You really liked that art class, huh?
        Alan: Art class? No, that was engineering.


      • (looking at the new Video Lottery Terminal)
        Jeff: I'm not sure about this; it feels sort of unethical. Do you think one's going to be enough?
        Fern: Oh, one's plenty. I put it by the window to lure in all the weak and addictive personalities.
        Jeff: Come on, Fern, do you think that really works?
        Mike: Hey, guys! I saw the VLT machine from the window; that's so cool! (sitting down at it) But wrong. But cool.


      • (Claire has just finished her business pitch for the anti-gambling job)
        Barbara: Sorry, Claire, I think we're going to have to go in another direction.
        Claire: Another direction? What direction?
        Barbara: Oh, it's a euphemism for 'we're not hiring you.'


      • Claire: I'm uh, I'm a reformed gambler. Kicked the habit a couple of years ago, right, Dan?
        Dan: Uh, it's been hard, I still find playing cards hidden in secret stashes around the house. I've blacked most of it out, so if you need specifics, I can't tell you.

      • Lenny-Man: Oh, don't worry, this is how it always goes. First, people hire me, then they try to fire me, then they find out they can't. Then if there's any time left, I do art.


      • Dan: So? How's the piece coming along?
        Alan: Great. Ever since you stopped pestering us, Lenny's been getting a lot of work done.
        Dan: Oh, so you're on the first-half-of-the-hyphenated-name basis with him now, are you?
        Alan: Yeah. Totally.


      • Dan: I want a new piece!
        Alan: The Art Trail guy's coming today!
        Dan: Screw the Art Trail guy.
        Lenny-Man: I already did!
        Alan: Ha-ha, boom goes the dynamite!


      • (at a gambling intervention for Claire)
        Karen: When's the part where we get to tell Claire how much she hurt us?
        Sheila: It's the only reason I'm here. I took the afternoon off work for it.


      • Fern: Oh, you look rough.
        Jeff: I've just been through a horrible experience; they made me wear a wig, and they wouldn't let me take it off until I cried.

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