How did your Dancing With the Stars cast announcement party go? Mine started at 4am with two hours of highlights from the series' run (like that time that foreign judge guy shouted "Fantastico!" and that other time Cloris Leachman was possessed by a sexy 20-year old), and then of course DANCING. The Cha-Cha and the Fox Trot and the Charleston and the Robot, I did them all! And then of course everyone gathered around the boob tube with our eyes glued to Good Morning America (and really, is there any better way to say "Good morning, America!" than with a DWTS cast announcement?) as our best friends for the next few months were announced!
And oh what stars! NASA better recalculate its estimation of how many celestial bodies are in the night sky because a dozen of them are coming to Earth on Monday, March 17 at 8pm when the quadrillionth edition of Dancing With the Stars debuts on ABC. Oh, I can't wait anymore! Let's run down the celebs!
It will be '80s and '90s darlings battling against each other as Danica McKellar and Candace Cameron Bure square off. McKellar you obviously know from The Wonder Years, where she played the source of Kevin Arnold's sexual frustrations, Winnie Cooper. Or, if you're part of the math world, you'll know her as Miss August on the 2010 Babes of Mathematics calendar. Cameron Bure met fame in the late-'80s as the Full House daughter who wasn't the twins or the cute one, D.J. Tanner. Now she's a best-selling author who writes about family and spirituality, so expect some divine intervention as she shimmies her way to the finals.
You want athletes? YOU ARE GETTING ATHLETES! Among them, former hockey loudmouth Sean Avery, who at one time not one person in the entire world liked. My main beef with him was that he once dated Elisha Cuthbert. On the exact opposite side of the spectrum from Avery are two inspirational athletes: Paralympic snowboarder and former Amazing Race contestant Amy Purdy, who lost both of her legs to meningitis when she was 19, and Diana "You're Never Too Old to Try Something Extremely Dangerous" Nyad, who made headlines last year after swimming from Cuba to Florida at the age of 64. But all eyes will be on Charlie White and Meryl Davis, who stole our hearts as the ice-dancing king and queen of the Sochi Olympics. Yes, these two long-time partners will be competing against each other. Will their partnership last? Will they fall down without the assistance of toe-picks? Do they have a ridiculously unfair advantage?
The ceremonial sacrifice will be Drew Carey, the host of The Price is Right and a former sitcom star. And the prerequisite reality star who's attempting to become a real star will be NeNe Leakes, who first made a name for herself on Real Housewives of Atlanta and parlayed that into roles on Fox's Glee and NBC's The New Normal. Billy Dee Williams, purveyor of malt liquor and the original owner of the Millenium Falcon, will also dance because what else is Billy Dee Williams doing? And the final two contestants are two guys I've never heard of, but they're probably of substantial importance to your teenage daughter: YouTube sensation and Justin Bieber opening act Cody Simpson, and James Maslow, star of Nickelodeon's Big Time Rush.
Also! This season, DWTS adds "The Switch Up" twist. Voters at home will have the power to switch up the stars' dance partners over the course of the season. Every couple will be required to switch partners at some point, so doesn't that completely ruin any early chemistry they'll try to have in the beginning? As previously announced, Erin Andrews will be co-hosting with Tom Bergeron, replacing Brooke Burke.
Wow! I'm out of breath and my arm is tingling and the left side of my face is drooping! How about you? Who do YOU think will win Dancing With the Stars?
AIRED ON 9/20/2016
Season 23 : Episode 3
TONIGHT AT 8PM
Season 23 : Episode 4