generally doesn't cover Dancing With the Stars for many reasons, the biggest of which is that it's Dancing With the Stars. But this, my friends, is worth 10,000 posts. 

It took new DWTS contestant Billy Dee Williams all of zero episodes to milk his fame as Star Wars' Lando Calrissian on the reality show, which kicked off Season 18 last night, and ABC, as the child of new Star Wars franchise-owner Disney, was more than happy to oblige. I've posted the video below, but I must warn all you Star Wars devotees out there that it might be painful to watch. 

So many things to point out here:

  • Was R2D2 forced to do that against his will?
  • Would Darth Vader approve of Stormtroopers doing the Cha Cha Cha?
  • The Cantina Song was obvious, but no Imperial March?
  • Why were Stormtroopers dancing with Lando? Is Lando in cahoots with the Empire again?
  • Was that CP30 in a Billy Dee Williams skinsuit, or are Billy Dee's knees that stiff?
  • Why didn't Jar-Jar Binks come out and do the Worm?
  • Ewoks? EWOKS? Can someone who is fluent in Ewokinese check that translation? How did Tom Bergeron know what the Ewoks were saying?
  • Did this routine become this generation's Star Wars Christmas Special?
  • Is Emma Slater Billy Dee's dance partner or caregiver?

This is simultaneously the best thing ever and the final lump of dirt on my childhood's coffin. I'm not at all mad at Billy Dee Williams, either, because this is exactly the type of thing that Billy Dee should do. But as for those of you who were skeptical when George Lucas handed over the Star Wars franchise to the Mouse House, ummm, I guess you were right. 

Previously Aired Episode

AIRED ON 5/19/2015

Season 20 : Episode 14

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