Doctor's Disorders

Season 2, Episode 2, Aired

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    • Tucker walks up to the ghost guards and sprays his cologne, causing them to start coughing) Tucker: Oh, please. You're ghosts. Do you have any idea what you smell like?
    • Danny: Tucker's right; hospitals stink.
    • (Danny's best friend comes to school with a new cologne on) Danny: Why do you smell like a sweaty cookie?
    • Tucker: Don't worry, Danny! The calvary is coming... whether he wants to or not!
    • Tucker: (Before he sprays his cologne through the air vent to get the ghost bugs out of everybody) Whoever said, "Odor isn't everything," never met Tucker Foley.
    • Jazz: (As a floating head in a jar) I can't feel my toes! Spectra: Let's see if you can feel this. (Throws the jar)
    • Danny: (After Bert Rand puts Sam & Paulina to sleep with knockout gas) Sam? Paulina? Getting tired... gas is affecting me? Bertrand: (As Bert Rand) Of course child, that's the point. (Turns into Bertrand) You didn't think this was an actual hospital, did you? Danny: You're Penelope Spectra's assistant, Bertrand! (Pauses; smacks his hand to his face) Bert Rand, Bertrand, how did I miss that? Bertrand: Why don't you mull that over during your last two seconds of consciousness. Danny: Tucker's right... Hospitals... stink! (Passes out)
    • Jack: Why should we trust you? Dr. Bert Rand: Because I'm with the government and I can audit your taxes. Jack: We trust you.
    • (Spectra throws the glass container with Jazz inside; the Kwans can't catch it, but she is caught by Tucker) Tucker: Yes, I got her! Jazz: Your fly's open.
    • (Danny is being chased by a huge ghost bug) Danny: Bug. (Flies in front of a telephone wire; bug crashes into the wire and gets shocked) Zapper.
    • Danny: Sam, are you okay? I heard a scream. Sam: Yeah, that was me. (About Paulina) You'd scream too if you were stuck in a sleepover with her. Danny: Actually, I kinda doubt that.
    • (Danny punches Spectra while she is covered in mucus and his arm gets covered in mucus) Danny: You know, if my life wasn't at stake, I would hurl right now.
    • Spectra: Okay, that's it, let's boogie. Danny: See, that's the kinda pun I was avoiding with the whole "blew it" comment.
    • Spectra: Ah, there we go. Your DNA is finally kicking in, which means I should be all powerful in three.. two.. one! (Becomes big like Jack) What? What happened? Why do I suddenly feel like blathering on about ghosts? And why do I feel like eating fudge, lots and lots of fudge? Danny: You wanted Fenton DNA. Unfortunately, you got it courtesy of my dad's nose. (Spectra turns into a huge mucus monster) Spectra: Aahhh!!! Danny: There's a "you blew it" pun somewhere, but, I'd rather not.
    • (As Tucker enters the hospital) Sam: Tucker, is that you? Tucker: Sam, is that you? Where are you? Sam: Up here. Tucker: (Sees Sam floating) Sam? Ha! And you call me an airhead. Sam: You know, you really should stop and consider all the vile things I could do to you from up here. (Tucker moves away)
    • Danny: (Wakes up) Where am I? (Looks around and finds himself strapped to hospital bed; tries to escape) Bertrand: Save it, kid, those restraints are ghost proof. You're in for the duration. Danny: (Looks to his side and sees weapons) Somebody tell me what's happening here! (Spectra appears in her "shadow" form) Spectra: Allow me. You know how we therapists love to talk it all out.
    • Tucker: (From outside the hospital) Spooky hospital. Ghosts guarding the joint. Still, no sign that Danny's in any real danger yet. Danny: (From inside the hospital) Let me go! Tucker: Still, technically not a cry for help. Danny: HELP!! Tucker: Well, not a cry for me. Danny: TUCKER!!! Tucker: Ah, dang.
    • Kwan: Fenton, you're in here, too? (Starts duplicating) Kwans: Four. Six. Eight. Who do we appreciate? Us! Us! Ahh! Run for our lives! (All eight Kwans run away) Danny: Are you kidding? I have been trying to do that trick for months, that is so wrong!
    • Danny: Okay, just hang out here and wait for me. You got my mom's Fenton utility weapon just in case? Tucker: (Takes out a lipstick) It's a lipstick, and an ecto-blaster. Because I'm worth it.
    • Tucker: Hey, Danny, check this out. Danny: What's up? Tucker: Got another one. (Shows Danny a ghost beetle in his palm) Danny: Tucker, get rid of that thing! Tucker: No, no, look. It won't bite me, or phase into my skin, or anything. Danny: That's weird. I figured my ghost powers were protecting me. What's protecting you? (Beetle flies off) Danny & Tucker: Foley by Tucker Foley! Danny: Wow, it's not just repelling, it's a repellent!
    • (After swarm of ghost beetles chase Dash into the bathroom, and Danny runs in after) Danny: Hey, Dash, uh, not that I care, but, you okay? Dash: I don't feel so good. Danny: Yeah, this always happens on goulash day. (Dash shoots ghost rays from inside stall) Although, I've never seen goulash do that. Dash: (Becomes a monster and breaks stall door) Get away! (Picks up Danny and throws him into a stall, Danny goes ghost, tackles monster Dash from behind, and pins him to a wall, while making a fist) I wish I could say I didn't want to do this, but - (Dash turns back to normal, and passes out) Uh, and just one cheap shot away from a semester full of payback.
    • (Danny's ghost sense goes off) Danny: Uh, is Paulina glowing? Sam: Uh, I know she's supposed to have flawless skin, but this is ridiculous.
    • Danny: You're afraid of the nurse's office? Tucker: Yes! Nurse's offices. Doctor's offices. Hospitals. Any place with sharp, pointy, sticky things and the smell of sick people. Sam: (Sniffs) Ugh, speaking of sick smells, what is that? Gym socks and Snickerdoodles? Danny & Tucker: Foley by Tucker Foley. Danny: It's Tucker's cologne.
    • Danny: Phew, what is that smell? Tucker: This? (Shows Danny spray-can) It's my new all-over body spray. I made it myself. I call it "Foley" by Tucker Foley. (Sprays some on himself) It combines with your natural odor to create a sweet manly scent, that smells different to everyone who sniffs it. Danny: Tuck, you smell like a sweaty cookie. Tucker: By choice. The ladies will be swarming all over me.
    • Danny: (In phantom mode, while fighting huge ghost bug) Paulina! You should run. (Paulina begins running toward him) No, not toward me! Away! Run!
  • Notes

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  • Allusions

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    • Episode Title: Doctor's Disorders The title comes from the common saying, "Doctor's orders."
    • Dash: (Sighs) When she sings "The Wind Beneath My Wings," I just go to pieces. "Wind Beneath My Wings" is a song by Bette Midler.
    • Various Kids: Ghost Power Origin The way how the ectoplasmic beetles gave the kids superhuman abilities after phasing into them (or "biting" them) is most likely taken from how Spider-Man obtained his superpowers from an irradiated spider. Like the children, he felt sick very shortly while after being bitten.
    • Tucker: It's a lipstick, and an ecto-blaster. Because I'm worth it. This is a quick and funny reference to the L'OrĂ©al cosmetic company slogan.
    • Danny: What's up, doc? This is, of course, a reference to Bugs Bunny's famous catch phrase (from Looney Tunes).
    • Dash: (After sneezing and accidentally shooting a green ray from his eyes at the TV, thus breaking it) Darn, right at the part where he says, "You complete me." This line is from the movie, Jerry Maguire, so Dash was probably watching this movie.
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